Macho Jokes
24 macho jokes and hilarious macho puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about macho that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Macho Short Jokes
Short macho jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The macho humour may include short manly jokes also.
- I am a macho man, i always say the final words while argueing with my wife! "Yes honey you are right"
"As you wish"
"Ok we can go to your family on thanksgiving no problem"
"I'm on it" - What does a macho ask his date when he has an erectile dysfunction? "Does this happen often to you?"
- What does the macho say to her when he doesn't get a hard-on? Does this happen to you often?
- What evokes the most hatred from a group of insecure macho men? Caitlyn Jenner, because she's a far superior athlete to almost every man on the planet.
- How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove. - Based on the fact that vehicles like trucks are referred to as "He", being macho..and sleek sports cars referred to as"She"... my car is a t**....
- What does a macho say to his girl when he fails to get an e**...? Does that happen to you often?
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Macho One Liners
Which macho one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with macho? I can suggest the ones about matador and masculine.
- Why are Pokemon considered manly in peru? It all dates back to the time of Macho-Pikachu
- I told my doctor I had a case of Macho Madness. He asked, Really? I said #OH YEAH!!!!
- What's the definition of macho? Jogging home from your vasectomy.
- What do you call a queue with John Cena, The Rock and Macho Man in it? A *punch*line.
- Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
- How can you tell she's a macho women?
She rolls her own tampons. - What's Macho Man r**... Savage's favourite capital city? Skopje!!
- What were Macho Man r**... Savage's last words? "OOHhhh NOOOOooooo"
Howlingly Hilarious Macho Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about macho you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mustache jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make macho pranks.
Small, skinny man is sitting in a pub...
There is a beer in front of him. A macho, muscular man enters the pub, taps him on the shoulder and drinks his beer! The skinny man starts crying. The big man:
\- Oh, stop crying, baby. That's just one beer...
The small man:
\- Okay, listen! Today my wife left me, my bank account is empty, my house is empty! I even got fired from my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so i tried to kill myself. I lay down on the rails - they changed the train route! i tried to hang myself - the rope broke! I tried to shoot myself - the gun broke! And now, i'm buying a beer with my last money, i'm pouring poison inside and you're drinking it!
Little kid ask His dad: daddy what is MACHO?
Dad:
its a person who is in charge, makes desicions, gives orders and everyone around obeys those orders.
Kid:
When I grow up I want to be a real macho just like Mom.
A cowboy walks into a bar
and orders a dose of the strongest drink available. The bartender serves a glass, the cowboy drinks it all in a single s**..., hits the glass on the table and asks for more.
The bartender serves another dose and the cowboy again drinks it all in one gulp and asks for more. The bartender serves the third dose of his strongest drink and equally the cowboy drinks everything in one gulp.
Impressed, the bartender says:
"Wow, you drank three doses in one gulp each. You're a real macho".
And the cowboy replies:
"What's the good of being so macho if the man I love doesnt want me?"
Ps.: I appreciate any language improvement.
A man walks Into a bar and orders a beer
He gets his drink and adds a little something to it and this macho guy comes in grabs his drink and slams it down. The man begins crying immediatly tears pouring down, he just seems so distraught.
The macho man tells him he is sorry offers to buy him another drink. The man goes
"it's not that today is the worst day of my life, I woke up and my car wouldn't start so I walked to work. When I got there my boss fired me for being late. So I walked all the way home in the pouring rain and when I got there I caught my wife with another man in our bed. I walked to the closes bar sat down poured poison into my drink and you drank that!"
ypical macho man married typical good-looking lady
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
