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Machinery Jokes

8 machinery jokes and hilarious machinery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about machinery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Ridiculous Machinery Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What is a good machinery joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Bill works in a machine shop. One day he gets into an accident at work...

He leans in too close to a piece of machinery and chops off his arm. Bob rushes over to help. He puts Bill's arm in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. An hour later Bill comes out with his arm reattached. "Ah, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.
A few weeks later, Bill leans in too close again and chops off his leg. Bob puts Bill's leg in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. 2 hours later Bill comes out with his leg reattached. "Ah, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.
A few weeks later, Bill once again leans in too close and lops off his head. Bob puts Bill's head in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. 3 hours go by and finally a doctor emerges from the surgery room. He walks over to Bob and says, "I'm sorry, but your friend didn't make it." Bob is distraught and says, "But the miracles of modern medicine have samed him before. Why couldn't you reattach his head?" The doctor replies, "We would have been able to, but some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

The most well known person in the world

Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.

What type of oil do orcs use in their machinery?

Mordor Oil

The machine we use to weigh heavy machinery broke today and we had to call in specialists from all over the world to fix it

It was a large scale operation

I know a real nerd, and even though he's given up his interest in farm machinery, he still s**... the atmosphere out of the room.

He's an ex-tractor fan.

Interviewer: any experience operating heavy machinery?

Candidate: does your mom count?

Does your mom count?

Interviewee: Do you have any experience with heavy machinery?
Me: Does your mom count?

How do big yellow machinery fall asleep.

they bulldoze


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