Mac Jokes
127 mac jokes and hilarious mac puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mac that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mac Short Jokes
Short mac jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mac humour may include short desktop jokes also.
- What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
- Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight? There was bad beef between them
- I bought a GPS and one of the voices on it is "fleetwood Mac". So I started using it, but it just keeps telling me to go my own way.
- Russian POW calls home: 'Mum, I've been captured'. Mum: 'Where are you?'
POW: 'Ukraine.'
Mum: 'Can you get us a Big Mac?' - If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?
- Today I Ate a Big Mac I am not gonna brag about it but the people in Apple were pretty terrified
- If there's one thing we can learn from Mac Miller... It's how to get out of attending your ex's wedding
- if it wasn't love, why does my heart ache so much whenever i see her? I asked myself as i went to order my 3rd big mac
- I met the man who invented the Big Mac today… He was much smaller and less appealing than he looked in his photos…
- I found a hammer behind McDonalds that I use to smash coins with I nicknamed it Big Mac but it's really more of a Quarter Pounder.
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Mac One Liners
Which mac one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mac? I can suggest the ones about dell and byte.
- Congrats Mac Miller! 1 week sober!
- Why do Macs run hotter than PCs? Because they don't have Windows.
- What type of computer does Ronald mcdonald use? A big mac
- Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies? Mac users have no CTRL
- Why does joe Biden use a Mac? Because apparently he doesn't want you to have windows.
- What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop? *A big mac*
- once you use mac you never go back. there's literally no escape
- What did Kris Kross order at McDonald's? A Biggity, Biggity, Biggity Mac.
- Today I decided to upgrade my Mac... ...so I threw a big slice of cheese on it.
- My mac has a factory defect. I've been using for 3 years and it still works.
- We regret getting a Mac instead of a Dell. We could have had it all.
- Why does the rabbi prefer windows to Mac? Because windows has a built-in snipping tool.
- If a Mac user If a Mac user sees a crime being committed, does she become an iWitness?
- Say what you want about Windows but you can't jump out of a Mac
- How is a Mac like a Queen's guard? They're both run by Unix.
Big Mac Jokes
Here is a list of funny big mac jokes and even better big mac puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man goes to mcdonalds and orders a big mac with a large fry. The cashier says, "I'm sorry sir, we only accept cash or credit."
- What's the difference between your mom and a big mac? None. They're both greasy and your dad secretly eats it while you sleep.
- Yo mama so dumb, she thought a big mac was another type of computer made by apple.
- What do Microsoft and Burger King have in common? They both hate big Macs.
- What did the law graduate say to the arts graduate? "I'd like a big mac meal with a coke please"
- There are two things I tell high school dropouts... 1. You tried your hardest.
2. I don't want pickles on my Big Mac. - Asked my co-worker if saw the big news report... He said which one, The Mac 'n Cheetos announcement or the UK doing something?
True story, from 3 min ago... 'Murica - What do you call Mac who is addicted to McDonald's? Big Macc
- Introducing diet coke making people think it's okay to order 2 big-macs and a large fry since 1982
- I really think we should be more accepting of transfats. If you eat a Big Mac, what difference does it make which bathroom you use?
Mac Miller Jokes
Here is a list of funny mac miller jokes and even better mac miller puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I know there are about to be a lot of jokes about Mac Miller but please, keep the quantity down I'd hate to overdose on them
- Mac Miller recently passed away. All of his homies are wearing their pants at half mast in his honor
- What does Ariana Grande... What does Ariana Grande order at McDonald's ?
A Mac Miller. - Eminem's verse on Not Alike is so hard that Mac Miller killed himself.
- Still Not Sure Why People Consider Mac Miller and XXXTentacion Mainstream? I mean they are some of the only true underground rappers.
- Mac miller died on Friday. He was gone by the weekend
- Ariana Grande said "God is a woman"... Mac Miller went to go prove her wrong
- What's the deal with white rappers suddenly getting all this attention? Just look at Mac Miller
- Mac Miller Heard Mac Miller's fall line is supposed to be killer.
- Mac Miller just died There's an OD on 5th Ave.
Mac Fleetwood Jokes
Here is a list of funny mac fleetwood jokes and even better mac fleetwood puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My new Fleetwood Mac satnav is useless. It just keeps telling me I can go my own way.
>!(Also, you can enjoy the earworm)!< - Fleetwood Mac Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again.
They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks. - Fleetwood Mac are releasing a new album I don't pay much attention to them, but I've heard rumours
- I bought a Fleetwood Mac GPS for my car. It's useless though. It just keeps telling me to go my own way.
- I once saw the guy from Fleetwood Mac pre-ordering his Christmas dinner It was Lindsey booking ham
- So sad to hear the former lead singer of Fleetwood Mac has emphysema. Wheezy Nicks was always one of my favorite singers.
/disclaimer: I have no idea what her real medical condition is. - What is Ronald McDonalds favorite band? Fleetwood Big Mac
- What did Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac call his workout supplement store? "You can go your own whey, go your own whey"
- I used to speak in Fleetwood Mac quotes, but I stopped... ...and I'm never going back again.
- Why doesn't Fleetwood Mac shave? Because Stevie Nicks.
Fleetwood Mac Jokes
Here is a list of funny fleetwood mac jokes and even better fleetwood mac puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does m**... Fleetwood always order from McDonald's? A Fleetwood Mac.
Cheeky Mac Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about mac you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean user jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mac pranks.
I found my first grey p**... hair today
I just didn't expect it to be in my Big Mac
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
A guy says to a librarian "I'd like a Big Mac, French Fries and a Coke"
The librarian says "I'm sorry sir but this is a library".
The guy says *whispering* "Oh, sorry, I'd like a Big Mac, French Fries and a Coke"
A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian "CAN I GET A BIG MAC FRIES AND A COKE?!!" The librarian says "excuse me miss.....this is a library."
The blonde says...."oh im sorry (whispers) can i get a big mac fries and a coke?"
I found my first grey p**... hair today.
It wouldn't have bothered me but it was inside my Big Mac.
My teacher used to tell me that I'd never amount to anything.
But ten years later, guess who I saw at mcdonalds? My teacher.
I served him a bic mac with no pickles even tho he wanted extra. Who's laughing now?
Whats the difference between a big mac and a b**...?
You don't know? Good, we will do lunch tomorrow....
I just found my first grey p**... hair!
Normally these things don't bother me but it was in my Big Mac...
The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac.
**There is no escape.**
I found my first gray p**... hair today.
It was in my Big Mac
Not my joke but my 5 year old sister's
Mom is cooking up some mac and cheese for my little sis and says," Come get your macaroni and cheese."
To which my sister replies," I said I want mac and cheese, NO Caroni!"
My 5yr old sis is smarter than me
The inventor of the Big Mac died the other day....
His family ordered the most lavish coffin they could find in the brochure, but were extremely disappointed when it turned out to be nothing like the picture.
A man walks into a greasy spoon for breakfast....
Waiter says what will it be, mac?
The customer says I gotta catch a train - so I'll just have a short stack of pancakes , also coffee ... and waiter - will they be long?
The waiter says No buddy, they'll be round...
On the subject of Macs and viruses...
I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.
I was against it and an argument started.
I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.
He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"
And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."
A man goes to Boston
A man goes on a business trip to Boston. He has never been there before and wants to try some of the local food. His friends all told him to try the sea food. Especially Boston Scrod.
So as he gets into the taxi at the airport he ask the driver "Do you know where I can get Scrod?"
The driver answers "Listen Mac. I've been asked that question many times and in many ways but never before in the past pluperfect subjunctive."
Just made up a joke and it's brilliant! What does Donald trump and a Mac book pro have in common?
They aren't PC
I found out that Steve Jobs was a p**......
...turns out he was the original Mac Daddy.
A man walks into a library and goes up to the front desk.
He says to the librarian, "Hello, I'll have a Big Mac, Coke, and fries please."
She looks at him confusedly and says, "Sir, this is a library."
He replies in a whisper, ^^"Oh. ^^Sorry. ^^I'll ^^have ^^a ^^Big ^^Mac, ^^Coke, ^^and ^^fries ^^please."
What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?
Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.
What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?
A co-operating system.
Why do Mac owners think they are superior?
Because they need to command everything.
A datingsite for mac owners
Finder
Why can't a Mac sing?
Because it's not Adele
Last October, I was walking through the cemetery.
I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft Halloween monster themed mac and cheese...
It was the mac.
It was the monster mac.
the monster mac
was in the graveyard trash.
Thanks mom for this more obscure one
Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?
He had a bad experience with windows.
How many Mac owners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He or she just stands there holding the bulb out waiting for the world to revolve around them..... or goes out and buys an adapter first to make the bulb compatible!
What do you call a Scottish computer?
Mac
If Steve jobs invented mac, did he also invent cheese?
(an actual original joke)
Why can't people stop buying Apples new Mac Books?
Because theres no escape
An irish man requests a guiness
"One Guiness please"
-*"You must be Irish"*
"What, just because I ordered a Guiness? If I ordered a big mac would you think I was American?"
-*"Um, Sir.."*
If I ordered a tortilla would you think I was mexican?! Racist s**...!"
-*"But.. sorry sir.. This is a library."*
Dear Mac users
Isn't it dark with no windows
What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?
I, Mac.
Blonde Joke
So, a blonde walks into a library. She says to the librarian in a loud voice, "CAN I GET A BIG MAC AND A LARGE COKE?". The librarian looks confused and says, "I'm sorry ma'am but this is a library,". The blonde then says in a quiet voice, "oh i'm so sorry. can i get a big mac and a large coke?".
People are talking about how culture is too pc nowadays...
But everyone I know has a Mac
A blonde enters a library
She goes up to the librarian and says "I will have a Big Mac, large fry and a coke."
The librarian, a bit confused, says "sorry miss, but this is a library."
The blonde is very embarrassed and says "I'm so sorry," and then proceeds to whisper "I will have a Big Mac, large fry and a coke."
Id like to order a number 3 combo with a Mac n cheese side and large coke
Okay that will be $7.86 sir, what kind of drink would you like?
...
What did Windows say to Mac OS
XP
What do you call a Big Mac without the special sauce?
Edible.
What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?
Mac in cheese
What happens when you throw a big mac at a window?
A fight between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates breaks out.
I had a roommate in college who was such a bad cook, his mac and cheese caught fire.
What a flaming casserole!
Why are people surprised that when it comes to computing, women choose Mac?
They descended from Eve after all.
What do you call a Scottish burgher?
Big Mac.
