Luxury Jokes
32 luxury jokes and hilarious luxury puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about luxury that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you want to laugh out loud? Why not try some luxury jokes to make your day? This article will provide you with the funniest jokes- from luxury cars, cruises and accommodations to automobiles. Enjoy the laughter!
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Funniest Luxury Short Jokes
Short luxury jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The luxury humour may include short luxurious jokes also.
- Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore. There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail
- You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- Do you know how you can tell Monopoly's an old game? ...it has a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- My girlfriend and I could never agree on holidays... I wanted to fly to exotic places and stay in luxurious five-star hotels. And she wanted to come with me.
- Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can't relate to anymore I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- The game monopoly is fin, but has some major out of date stuff. There's free parking, a luxury tax, you can actually afford to pay rent, and rich people can actually go to jail.
- A luxury boat sank and a passenger was holding on to a floating piano... All of a sudden, someone floats by sitting atop a floating cello and asks: May I accompany you?
- "I think solitary confinement is a luxury," said my friend, "don't you?" "You're on your own there," I replied.
- I was playing on a putting green which was made on the roof of a luxury London hotel. I was putting on the Ritz.
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Luxury One Liners
Which luxury one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with luxury? I can suggest the ones about high class and fancy.
- What's the Preferred Luxury Automobile of Sushi Chefs around the world? Rolls Rice
- What do you call a luxury car that sinks in the ocean? A Mercedes-Bends
- What do you call a dog kennel in San Francisco? Luxury apartments
- What do you call a luxury automobile with a built in Artificial intelligence? Alexus.
- What is the most flexible luxury car? Mercedes bendsz
- I like my women the way i like my luxury cars Blacked out
- Where does Satan shop for luxury items? d**... Marcus.
I am so terribly sorry. - I lived off p**... noodles and canned soup for two years. Now I miss that level of luxury.
Luxury Car Jokes
Here is a list of funny luxury car jokes and even better luxury car puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What happens when you drive an expensive German luxury car into a tree Your Mercedes Bends
Luxury Cruise Jokes
Here is a list of funny luxury cruise jokes and even better luxury cruise puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When I was kidnapped, my parents immediately sprung into action. They spent my college fund on a luxury cruise.
- Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner? The passengers and crew were marooned.
Life Of Luxury Jokes
Here is a list of funny life of luxury jokes and even better life of luxury puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was going to go treat myelf to a nice, luxurious dinner. Then, I realized that I didn't have an elf and eating food was the most exciting activity in my life.
Amusing & Witty Luxury Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about luxury you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean expensive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make luxury pranks.
I thought of this joke this morning in the shower
A professional baseball team is at the airport flying home after a huge victory, and the team manager decides to splurge by buying first class tickets for everyone. Excited to fly in luxury, everyone boards the plane. The team quickly realizes, though, that they failed to reserve enough seats. Nobody is quite sure what to do, but eventually a rookie on the team stands up and shouts "put me in coach!"
Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...
On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.
"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."
Golf
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf & enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake. The caddy looks back at him and says, I don't think you could keep your head down that long.
Men are greedy b**....
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b**... should remember - fairies are female.
Did you hear about the luxury resort l**... colony?
Apparently it costs an arm and a leg to go there.
Hotel bill
Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can't believe the size of the bill. "Why so much?"
Manager: "It's not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room..."
Jack: "But I didn't use any of those!"
Manager: "Maybe, but you could have!"
Jack takes a pen and a seat, adjusts the bill and presents it to the Manager.
Jack: "I've deducted 3 nights of intimacy with my wife".
Manager, spluttering: "I never had relations with your wife!"
Says Jack: "Maybe, but you could have!
I had the luxury of obtaining a Russian style dishwasher during quarantine...
Her name is Natalia and she makes a lot of noise when there's too much inside.
An Uber driver
I called an Uber, a luxury minivan came.
The driver asked: are you ok with songs from the 60s?
Thought for 3 second, I said: Why not
Then he started to sing...
