lustful Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious lustful puns

A man goes to church to make a confession...

A man goes to church to make a confession to the priest.

"Look. I have a confession to make. During the war, a young, gorgeous woman came to my door looking for somewhere to stay hidden. And I accepted, on the condition that she would repay me every day with sexual favors."

The priest says, "Don't worry, young fellow. You have sinned. You were young and lustful, and God will forgive you."

"Good," the man said. "But I have another question. Do you think I should tell her the war's over?"


How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass?

Very satisfying.

Retweaked joke:
How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass?
Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!


A roman, an american, and a jewish man all died.

They were immediately sent to hell because they had committed some pretty unsettling offenses in their lives. The roman was a lustful sex offender, the american was extremely gluttonous, and the Jewish man was very greedy and stole lots of money over his lifetime.

Well, God was feeling pretty generous and decided to give the three men a second chance on Earth. He gathered the men into his throne room and told them, I will give you 24 more hours on Earth. If you go these 24 hours without committing your deadly sins, you will be granted an extra 10 years of life on Earth and a direct ticket to Heaven. But, if you commit your deadly sins, you will immediately be sent back to the deepest circle of the hell. The three men unanimously agreed and were sent back to Earth to begin their trial.

The first thing the american did was buy out an entire hot dog stand and ate all of the food as fast as he could. Then, POOF! The american was gone.

The first thing the jewish man saw was a 10 dollar bill sitting neatly on the sidewalk. He bent over to pick it up, and POOF! The roman was gone.


Sterotype hot horny blonde goes to a bar

She was like having no sex for month and she just urged for a huge cock. So the girl walks up to some black stud that looks just well equiped enough for her needs and starts to flirt. One things come to another and 30 minutes later they're walking down the road to her place. In lustful anticipation she looks up to him and asks: "So... Is... Is it true what they say, well you know, what they say about black men?". Black guy smirks "I'm sorry hunny, but yes", snatches her purse and runs off.


The difference between lustful men and women.

A woman asks a man, "Why is it that if a man sleeps around, he's considered a player and gets respect, but if a women sleeps around, she's a whore?"

The man replies, "A lock that can be opened by any key is a very bad lock, but a key that can open any lock is considered a master key".


A child is all alone with a lustful priest.

The kid ends up grabbing him by the crotch to stop the unwanted advances. The priest then says "look kid, don't make this any harder than it needs to be".


What are the most funny Lustful jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Lustful? Well, here are the best Lustful dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Lustful pick up lines to share with friends.


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