Following is our collection of funny Lungs jokes. There are some lungs ribcage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lungs pulse puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
From Phil's Osophies (Modern Family). I have to get that book.
......singing at the top of my lungs: RAKING THE LAWN RAKING THE LAWN!
A pedestrian is walking past an insane asylum, and in the distance hears a bunch of the asylum inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Intrigued, the pedestrian peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and, suddenly, a finger pops out jabbing him right in the eye.
He screams in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets.
He's always been a lil weezy.
The doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.
"No! No! Don't take off your clothes. Just stick out your tongue!"
...they have a place very close to my heart.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
My 1.5 y.o. says "die" when she needs smth, because it means "Give me" in Russian. I'm Russian, my husband is American. So, when his big family was all together, and he did not give her what she wanted, she screamed on top of her lungs "DIEEE!!!!"
He ran out of tissue paper.
...and the doctor has some bad news.
"I'm sorry to tell you this. But two of your tests cam back positive. Firstly, we have detected a cancerous tumor in your lungs."
"Oh dear!" said the man.
"And secondly," the doctor said, "it seems you have tested positive for Alzheimer's disease. I'm very sorry."
The man replied, "That sounds serious! Well, on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"
You can explore lungs bypass reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lungs thorax dad jokes. There are also lungs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Act until you're William Hurt.
Modern family.
Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".
His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"
He stand's up and says:
-hip, hip
And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:
-HURRAY
The stutterer, tried again, but louder
-HIP!! HIP!!
Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!
-HUURRAAAAY!!!!!
The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!
-HIIPPPP !! HIPPP!!!
Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!
-HURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses
And i scream something in the top of my lungs, and no woman can hear me,
Am I still wrong?
First way: "1!"
Second way: "0!"
Scared the rest of the people on the Ferris wheel.
While examining a female patient, doctor tells her:
Ur heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.
Woman immediately started taking off her top and jeans..
Doc shocked said:
No! No! Plz put on ur clothes.
Just show me your tongue..."
It would be the humerus but something in the lungs is cilia
He said, "Calm down, mate. Otherwise you can leave my taxi."
My lungs.
The judges are still adjusting for inflation.
That's why my lungs are in perfect health
Luckily I was still up, masturbating and screaming at the top of my lungs
This will make you the person who calls the shots...
Ralveoli.
R-alveoli
dead.
A dead bird.
The man yelled at the top of his lungs
"WHICH ONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE?"
The whole bar went silent, one man stood up and replied
"You're gonna need more than six bullets pal!"
You're putting your lungs at steak.
Marco, Polio!
The Genie says,
"You may all slide once down this magic slide. Whatever you shout on the way down will be what you land in at the end."
The Englishman slides down and shouts
"Lagerrrrrrrrrrrr!"
The Scotsman slides down and shouts
"Whsikeyyyyyy!"
Finally, the Irishman slides down, and at the top of his lungs, he exclaims:
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
So I saw a friend I hadn't seen for a very long time, but apparently the flight crew don't like it when you yell "Hi Jack at the top of your lungs.
I was never meant to be a hearse driver.
To which I screamed back at the top of my lungs, "BACK TO THE PAST, SAMURAI JACK!" and sped off onto the highway.
Chicks will always scream through their lungs no matter how big the cockroach in their rooms is.
Once, I met a person whose lungs were so old that she had a hard time breathing out. I guess you could say that her lungs were past their expiration date.
Unfortunately for him, screaming mercy at the top of his lungs only hastened the process.
...Turns out it was a case of pulmonary ableism.
The doctor said she only had 5 more years to live. Her last wish before she died was to go to Berkeley University. I thought it over for a while and said To Berk You Go Sis!
So this hippo was yelling at a man because the man was smoking. The hippo is actually a smoker himself though and because of his bad habit his lungs fail and he has to go to the ICU.
The whole situation was very hippo-critical.
Her kids don't help either.
As well as the Chans, Wongs, Lees and Lins.
The DJ was playing shout, so shouted at the top of my lungs in joy.
Then he played jump and jumped up and down on the dance floor.
Finally he played come on Eileen, I was thrown out the doors for that. That's the last time I go in there.
Father: Son why are you holding your collar?
Son: Once Miss Hannah forgot to hold up her collar and both her lungs came out and dropped down.
Because they are well organized
But how can they say that when it cures salmon!!
(Lol im a smoking chef and when i heard this joke I coughed my lungs like i have the rona. Had to post it )
It makes my patients really nervous.
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
I just can't remember them because I have bad lung term memory
Kidneys, liver, heart and lungs.
On reaching there, he meets a friend and starts talking, his car parked nearby. A car suddenly comes crashing into his BMW, nearly taking a door off. The lawyer, howls at the top of his lungs, "LOOK WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO MY BEAMER!!" His friend remarks, "You lawyers are so pathetically materialistic, you didn't even notice that he ripped your wrist off!" The lawyer looks at his bloodied hand, and nearly fainting, exclaims "WHERE'S MY ROLEX?!"
Finally got so annoying I unlocked the door and let them out.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lungs breathe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lungs valves piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.