The Best 45 Lung Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lung jokes. There are some lung fatal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lung infection puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lung Jokes and Puns

You're coughing all the time and it's hard for you to breath, what happend?

It's a lung story

Someone asked me about minerals that are long term contributors to lung cancer the other day,

I just answered asbestos I could.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

Lung joke, What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

I may look white but I'm black where it counts ;)

lung cancer :(

I should probably be upset about kids with black lung...

But it's a minor issue.


My grandpa just died of lung cancer...

He fought it asbestos he could.

What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection?

LeBronchitis

Lung joke, What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection?

A man walks in to a store and buys a pack of cigarettes.

As the clerk hands the pack to him he says "you should really read the warning on them". "It says right here that smoking causes erectile dysfunction and highly increases your rate for impotence". The man looks at him in shock and says "can I just get the lung cancer ones".

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke.
(Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can.

I'm so sorry.

My friend told me he has developed a lung disease...

I told him to explain it to me asbestos he can.

You can explore lung symptoms reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lung dermatologist dad jokes. There are also lung puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man goes in a tobacco shop...

and asks for a packet of cigarettes. The owner gives him one with the following warning label:
"Smoking causes erectile dysfunction".
So the man says:
"Whaaaat!!! Take that back and give me one with lung cancer! "

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

"Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

At this point in my life...

At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer.

There was a boy with lung cancer...

One day a priest came to visit the boy in the hospital. The Priest sat on the boy's side to comfort him and pray. Soon, the boy was unable to breathe. Acting quickly the priest grabbed a pen and paper to gather the boy's last words. Days later at the funeral, the priest read the boys last words and it read " Dear Father Dave, you are on my oxygen tube."

Lung joke, There was a boy with lung cancer...

Hey, do you have a lung problem?

If you do, I'll do asbestos I can to help you.

Only Coal Miners Will Get This

Black lung disease.

A man goes to the doctor

Doctor: Okay, I have 2 messages for you. The first one is, you have lung cancer, the second one, you have alzheimer.

Man: Thank god, atleast not cancer.


What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first cough is not your phlegm.

There's only one thing I haven't quit on...

Now I have lung cancer.

What did the doctor said to the lung cancer patients family?

He doesn't have lung time.

People are really sad about the news that Larry King has lung cancer

while others are excited to hear he's alive.

Hitlers Disease

A little known fact about Adolf Hitler he had severe asthma and lung issues his whole life. He even wrote in his journal about it briefly titled Mein Cough.

If I start watching TV, I can give up smoking.

But I rather have lung cancer than brain cancer.

What's the worst thing about having a lung transplant?

Realising that the first time you cough, the phlegm isn't yours.

The doctor tells the man that he has bad news and worse news.

The man says, "Let's hear the worse news first."

So the doctor tells him: "I'm sorry, but you appears to have lung cancer."

So the man, asked the doctor "Ok, we what's the bad news?

So the doctor tells him:

"You also appears to have alzheimer's."

The man replies,

"Well, at least I don't have lung cancer!"

What are the lungs favorite food?

R-alveoli

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva for a lung period of time.

Teacher asked the class, "What's Urology about?"

A blonde eagerly raised her hand. Teacher says, "Yes, you"..
She screams out of her lung "Its the Study of European culture".

Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court...

The game would likely be cancelled

Don't call yourself a Chainsmokers fan...

..unless you have stage 4 lung cancer.

It's sad to say but I think my neighbor may have lung cancer..

He coughs and coughs all the time and I smell marijuana coming from his apartment so it must be serious.

Why was the anti vaxers 4 year old crying

The spasms from tetanus caused a lot of pain in the iron lung.

A doctor walked into his office

A doctor walked into his office and diagnosed a woman with Alzheimer's and lung cancer

The woman says "at least I don't have
Cancer"

That "Minecraft" videogame is taking its toll on my cousin's health.

The doctors have never seen someone so young afflicting by Black Lung.

The girl fell down on a bicycle. Why doesn't she cry?

Because the bike handlebar pierced her lung.

What does Santa get when he gets stuck in the chimney?

lung cancer

Essential Oils found to help with Polio

They are effective in cases of polio to lubricate the seal between between the one's neck, and the iron lung.

Feel free to steal this one.

My doctor got his medical degree from China, which isn't a problem usually, but the other day I was at his office and he told me,

"You have spot of cancer."

and I said,

"Cancer?"

and he said,

"Yes. Your lung has tumor."

and I said,

"One's enough, thanks."

So a French man was diagnosed with lung Cancer and only have 2 months to live.

He didn't want to die leaving his familly with no money, so he decided to rob the federal bank. When he told his friend about his plan, tha latter asked why was he doing something so dangerous for the sake of his familly.

The guy replied ''I've got nothing Toulouse!''

COVID-19 can damage the heart, lung, and brain.

Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.

What is another term for a lung transplant?

Breath Implants

SO happy to announce my mother has tested negative for COVID-19...

Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!

Two doctors, Jenkins and Smith, are treating a man with lung disease.

They're explaining how him smoking weed led to his condition worsening.

But it's just herbal! the patient protested. How can it be bad?

Dr Jenkins sighed. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden - if you sit under it for just ten minutes, you will die. Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's safe for you!

The man seemed to accept that, and after he and the doctors parted ways, Dr Smith asked, What is that plant that kills you if you sit under it?

A water lily.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lung asbestosis jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lung cough piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes