Lung Cancer Jokes
34 lung cancer jokes and hilarious lung cancer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lung cancer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Lung Cancer Short Jokes
Short lung cancer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lung cancer humour may include short breast cancer jokes also.
- How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing? Asbestos he can.
I'm so sorry. - Someone asked me about minerals that are long term contributors to lung cancer the other day, I just answered asbestos I could.
- SO happy to announce my mother has tested negative for COVID-19... Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!
- People are really sad about the news that Larry King has lung cancer while others are excited to hear he's alive.
- Lung cancer has done a real number on me; I don't have long left. Doc said he's going to get me a donor lung.. …but I'm not holding my breath.
- If I start watching TV, I can give up smoking. But I rather have lung cancer than brain cancer.
- A man goes to the doctor Doctor: Okay, I have 2 messages for you. The first one is, you have lung cancer, the second one, you have alzheimer.
Man: Thank god, atleast not cancer. - What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer? "Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"
- A doctor walked into his office A doctor walked into his office and diagnosed a woman with Alzheimer's and lung cancer
The woman says "at least I don't have
Cancer"
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Lung Cancer One Liners
Which lung cancer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lung cancer? I can suggest the ones about cancer and prostate cancer.
- My grandpa just died of lung cancer... He fought it asbestos he could.
- There's only one thing I haven't quit on... Now I have lung cancer.
- What did the doctor said to the lung cancer patients family? He doesn't have lung time.
- What does Santa get when he gets stuck in the chimney? lung cancer
- I may look white but I'm black where it counts ;) lung cancer :(
- give a man a light and he'll for a night teach a man how to light and he gets lung cancer
- My dad has lung cancer His chances of living went up in smoke.
- My Grandads motto was "Never give up".... He died of lung cancer
- Don't call yourself a Chainsmokers fan... ..unless you have stage 4 lung cancer.
Howlingly Hilarious Lung Cancer Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about lung cancer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cancer patient jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lung cancer pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At this point in my life...
At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?
Depends what you smoke.
(Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)
So a French man was diagnosed with lung Cancer and only have 2 months to live.
He didn't want to die leaving his familly with no money, so he decided to rob the federal bank. When he told his friend about his plan, tha latter asked why was he doing something so dangerous for the sake of his familly.
The guy replied ''I've got nothing Toulouse!''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a boy with lung cancer...
One day a priest came to visit the boy in the hospital. The Priest sat on the boy's side to comfort him and pray. Soon, the boy was unable to breathe. Acting quickly the priest grabbed a pen and paper to gather the boy's last words. Days later at the f**..., the priest read the boys last words and it read " Dear Father Dave, you are on my oxygen tube."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's sad to say but I think my neighbor may have lung cancer..
He coughs and coughs all the time and I smell m**... coming from his apartment so it must be serious.
Feel free to steal this one.
My doctor got his medical degree from China, which isn't a problem usually, but the other day I was at his office and he told me,
"You have spot of cancer."
and I said,
"Cancer?"
and he said,
"Yes. Your lung has tumor."
and I said,
"One's enough, thanks."
A old man goes to the doctor for some tests
...and the doctor has some bad news.
"I'm sorry to tell you this. But two of your tests cam back positive. Firstly, we have detected a cancerous tumor in your lungs."
"Oh dear!" said the man.
"And secondly," the doctor said, "it seems you have tested positive for Alzheimer's disease. I'm very sorry."
The man replied, "That sounds serious! Well, on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"