The Best 13 Lunchtime Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lunchtime jokes. There are some lunchtime 3pm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lunchtime steakhouse puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lunchtime Jokes and Puns

The Mathematician and the Waiter

A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -

'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.

'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'

In and Out

(Part joke and part tongue-twister - lots of fun to tell out loud.)

Once upon a time, a mama skunk had twin baby skunks, who she named In and Out.

One day when they were just wee skunks, In and Out went out to play. At lunchtime, Mama Skunk poked her head out and called out, "In and Out, it's time to come in!"

After a few minutes, Out comes in. Mama looks at him and says, "Out, where is In? I just told you both to come in!"

Out says, "In is still out." So Mama tells him "Well Out, you go right back out, find In, and bring him in!" So Out goes out, and within just a minute he comes back in with In.

Mama Skunk is amazed. She says, "Out, how on earth did you find In so quickly?"

Out shrugs and says, "Instinks."

Drunk...

A drunk lurches out of a pub at lunchtime.

After getting his alcohol-induced double vision together, he notices a car parked by the kerb with its bonnet up and a man leaning against the car with his arms folded and looking very grumpy.

He staggers over and manages to slur, "What's the matter, mate?"

The grumpy guy scowls at the drunk and says, "Argh - piston broke!"

"Yeah - so am I!" replies the drunk and lurches off...

Lunchtime joke, Drunk...

I had a row with my boss at lunchtime

Perks of working near a boating lake

What is Michael Jackson's favorite lunchtime meal?

Grilled Chee-heese


The Dad joke pay-off [not actually a joke, sorry]

Dad, a little after lunchtime: "Are you hungry?"

Son: "No."

D. "Really? You've hardly had anything to eat all day."

S. "Okay, really I am, but I don't want to say it because then you'll do that joke again."

Son hates joke so much he would rather go hungry than risk hearing it one more time. Now my legacy is in place, I may die a happy man.

Almost every McDonalds

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.

Lunchtime joke, Almost every McDonalds

A wife asks her husband would he like to come home at lunchtime.

Would you like a quickie?

Husband: It's pronounced Quiche, and yes I would.

A group of Nuns were enjoying their lunch break...

A group of Nuns were enjoying their lunch break, riding their bicycles around the gardens at their convent.
"I told you 5 minutes ago that lunchtime was over Sisters!" yelled the Sister in charge.
"If you don't stop immediately I'll put the seats back on!"

Wife: Do you fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie.

Me: It's pronounced Quiche.

What's a caveman's favorite lunchtime meal?

A club sandwich.

You can explore lunchtime sandwich reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lunchtime mcdonalds dad jokes. There are also lunchtime puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If you went to a strip club at lunchtime and it wasn't open, would the sign on the door say...

"SORRY, WE'RE CLOTHED"

What do you call a restaurant that opens at lunchtime on Sundays after worship service?

Separation of Church & Steak

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lunchtime appetite jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lunchtime midmorning piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes