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Lunatic Jokes

53 lunatic jokes and hilarious lunatic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lunatic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Tired of the same old jokes? Check out these hilariously funny lunatic jokes that take the insanity of an asylum and the zaniness of life on the freeway and combine it with Herman's contagious attitude. Get ready to laugh out loud!

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Popular Lunatic Short Jokes

Short lunatic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lunatic humour may include short maniac jokes also.

  1. A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum. He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.
    Headline in the local newspaper next day read,
    "Nut Screws Washer and Bolts .
  2. Scientists have recently discovered the existence of a mentally unstable microscopic parasite on the moon... Apparently it's a real lunatic
  3. A lunatic seduced the laundry woman ... A lunatic seduced the laundry woman to get her keys, and promptly escaped from the asylum.
    Next day, the headlines read *Nut Screws Washer and Bolts!*
  4. My neighbor claims he took a photo of a flea on the moon. Never mind… it's just a lunatic.
  5. Husband and wife are driving on a highway... Honey be careful! There's been news of a crazy lunatic driving in the wrong direction on the highway!
    There's not just one, there are hundreds!
  6. Yeah, I carry a gun. You got to. You never know when some lunatic is going to come up and say ... "you're fired."
    (c) Dave Attell
  7. Falling off Bed A lunatic falls off his bed. He quickly gets up. 10 minutes later, he falls again. He thinks to himself "Good thing I got up 10 minutes ago, or I might have fallen on myself"
  8. Today i went to starbucks I got in and ordered a large coffee with milk, and the dude looked at me like i was a lunatic
  9. Me and my twin sister are named luna and Selena Our parents are lunatics for naming us that way.
  10. What do you call someone obsessed with the moon? A lunatic
    (Sorry if repost, was just reading and came across)

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Lunatic One Liners

Which lunatic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lunatic? I can suggest the ones about insane and nutty.

  1. What do you call insects on the moon? Lunatics
  2. What do you call a mad insect on the moon? A Lunatic
  3. If you're the assistant to the assistant lunatic... You're a coconut.
  4. What do you call a tick that lives on the moon? A lunatic.
  5. What do you call fans of the moon? Lunatics
  6. What kind of tick should you look out for on the full moon? A lunatic
  7. what idiot called it a moon enthusiast and not a lunatic
  8. What do you call people born on the moon? A lunatic.
  9. Did you hear about the lunatic who tried swimming in the river in Paris? He was in seine
  10. What do you call someone who thinks that the moon is winking at him? A lunatic
  11. If one were born on the moon Will they be called a lunatic.
  12. Have you heard about President Moon?! He's a luna-tic!
  13. What do you call a crazy person on the Moon? A lunatic.
  14. Who is Jay-Z's lunatic cousin? Cra-Z
  15. Why do so many lunatics have ear infections? Because they're ear-rash-ional.

Lunatic Asylum Jokes

Here is a list of funny lunatic asylum jokes and even better lunatic asylum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**
Lunatic joke, Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about lunatic can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of lunatic puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Hilarious Lunatic Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about lunatic you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean madman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make lunatic prank.

Two guys in a lunatic asylum

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum… and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea… He says, 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' but the second guy just shakes his head. He says, 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!

Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, r**... a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away?

The newspaper headlines the next day read:
#**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#

An elderly couple is taking a Sunday drive on I-80

when the wife gets a call on her new-fangled cell-phone. Her daughter is frantic, "Mom, there is a lunatic driving the wrong way down the road on I-80 near your house!"
The wife turns to her husband and says, "Did you hear that? Some maniac is driving down the wrong side of the road!"
The husband screams, "One lunatic?! There are hundreds of them!"

First joke I ever learned

An elderly man arrives home from bingo and his wife comes running up to him.
"Thank goodness you're home safe! I was watching the news and apparently a lunatic was driving down the wrong side of the freeway!"
He responds, "*A* Lunatic? There were hundreds of them!"

A guy is watching the news...

And he sees that there is a guy driving in the wrong direction on the highway. He knows that his dad is currently driving on that highway, so he calls his dad.
Dad, he says, watch out. There's some lunatic driving the wrong way on the highway!
His father replies, There're millions of them!

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum...and one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape. So, like, they get up to the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight. Stretching away to freedom. Now the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend dare not make the leap. You see he's afraid of falling. So then the first guy has an idea. He says "Hey! I have a flashlight with me. I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" But the second guy just shakes his head. He says "What do you think I am? CRAZY? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

Did you hear the newspaper headline about the escaped lunatic who r**... a woman and ran away?

"Nut screws and bolts".

Walking past a lunatic asylum

Walking past a lunatic asylum , and I could hear the inmates shouting 13, 13, 13, 13, curiosity got the better of me but the walls were too tall to see over .all the time they kept on shouting 13, 13, 13, finally I found a hole in the wall so I took a peep and some fool poked me in the eye with a stick and then they started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14,

An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work...

... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"

An old man was driving along the highway...

...when a traffic emergency came on the radio.
"Attention all drivers on Highway 11, there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road!"
The old man muttered to himself; "A lunatic? More like hundreds!"

2 guys locked in a lunatic asylum.

See, there were 2 guys locked in a lunatic asylum. One night, they decided to escape. They made it up to the rooftop, across this narrow gap, they see rooftops. Stretching out into freedom.
The first guy, he jumps across no problem. But his friend, nope, afraid of falling. First guy thinks of an idea, he says "hey, i got this flashlight with me, I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings and you can walk across the beam and join me!"
The 2nd guy says, "what do you think i am, crazy? you'll just turn it off when i'm half way across!"
*source, the joker tells batman this joke, batman laughs w/ him for the first time. *

Two lunatics planning their escape from the asylum.

A:(Give a task to B) Go see the keeper's position. If he's on the left we flee by the right; If he's on the right we flee by the left.
B: (returns disappointed) impossible to flee!! He's not here.

A man is driving down the freeway

when his wife calls him. He picks up and asks what the matter is. She says, "I want you to be careful honey, I heard on the radio there's a lunatic barreling down the highway going the wrong way." He replies, "it's much worse than that, there's hundreds of them

An elderly man was driving down the highway when his phone rang.

It was his wife urgently warning him: Honey, I just heard on the news that there's some lunatic in a car going the wrong way on the highway. Please be careful!
It's worse than that, said the man, It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!

Some f*cking lunatic just hit me over the head with a power tool!

I was just minding my own business when from out of nowhere... b**...!

Driving in France

I was driving from London to Paris and got off the ferry at Calais.
I got onto the D901, when my wife called me saying "careful dear, they are saying on the news that there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road."
I said "the news is wrong honey. There are hundreds of these lunatics driving on the wrong side honking at me. Gotta go".

The numbers game

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. 'Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!' goes the noise from within the mental hospital's wards.
The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye.
As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues:
'Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!'

Lunatic joke, My neighbor claims he took a photo of a flea on the moon.

jokes about lunatic

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these lunatic jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.