The Best 65 Lumberjack Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Lumberjack jokes. There are some lumberjack poplar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lumberjack lumber puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Lumberjack Jokes and Puns
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree!
The lumberjack laughed and said, And you will dialogue.
I used to work at an orange juice factory but was fired because I couldn't concentrate.
So I tried my hand at being a lumberjack. I couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
Then i gave being a barber a go. But I didn't cut it.
I was then hired as a tailor and found I wasn't suited for the job.
A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...
...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."
The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.
"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.
"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.
"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.
"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."
Why did you cut me down, lumberjack?
Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why?
Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped.
Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?
So he'd use natural logs!
What did the lumberjack cobbler make?
Wooden shoe like to know?
A lumberjack applies for a job...
...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?"
The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest."
The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it now."
Did you hear about the lumberjack who lost his job?
They gave him the axe, he just couldn't hack it.
Why was the lumberjack executed?
He committed treeson.
Three Men are Captured by Female Savages!
They are told their dicks would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs.
The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.
The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.
The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "I work for Dyson!".
What do you get when you watch a lumberjack chop down a tree?
bored.
ha^ha
You can explore lumberjack timber reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lumberjack wood dad jokes. There are also lumberjack puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time...
...he's our key logger.
Did you hear about the lumberjack who worked overtime?
He logged a lot of hours.
My sphincter is a lumberjack.
He cuts logs in half.
An Irish Lumberjack
A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.
The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.
"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.
Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"
A musician, a lumberjack, and a mathematician were in a room together...
They made a log-rhythm.
My friend told this great lumberjack joke the other day.
But no one was around to hear it...
What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common?
They're both tree fellers.
What did the tree say to the lumberjack?
I'm falling for you
What is it called when a lumberjack masturbates?
Logging off.
I had long suspected a rival robot lumberjack of stealing my wood
So I checked its log files.
What do you call a stupid lumberjack?
An Axymoron!
What do you call a southern lumberjack
a tree feller
Did you hear about the lumberjack who got fired for cutting down too many trees ?
He saw too much
What do you call a lumberjack from the middle east?
Osama Bin Loggin
A lumberjack has sex with a witch, gets his soul trapped inside a jigsaw, and seeks revenge by ruining her cheese company
*I Came. I Saw. I Con Curd.*
Where does a lumberjack find a date?
Timber!
I used to be a lumberjack in the Sahara...
-But the Sahara is a desert.
-Now it is.
I tried joining a lumberjack site for some strength tips
I couldn't log in.
I got chatting to this lumberjack the other day
He seemed like a decent feller
A lumberjack went to a magic forest to cut a Tree..
Upon arrival to the tree he started swinging at the tree.
"But, I'm a talking tree" said the tree.
"And you will dialogue" replied the lumberjack.
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut down a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, No! Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned, And you will dialogue!"
Did you know Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack?
His name was Tim
A lumberjack applies for a job and gets called for an interview. The interviewer asks him, So, what experience do you have? The lumberjack replies, Well, I used to work in the Sahara Forest.
The interviewer is a little taken aback and asks, The Sahara Forest? Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?
The lumberjack says, Yeah, that's what they call it now.
What do you call a lumberjack without any legs?
Stumped!
A Lumberjack walks into a Magical Forest..
He finds a mighty tree and begins to chop it down. As soon as he starts chopping, the tree yells out "Stop it! I'm a talking tree!" The lumber jack responds, "And you'll dialogue."
What do lumberjacks do when they're about to finish work?
Log off.
What's a lumberjacks favorite filmmaker?
TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRR-ton
A lumberjack chopped off my teeth
But later he apologized and said it was axedental.
As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 2,417 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
A lumber jack went into a forest....
Upon entering he found a tree and began his first swing when the tree suddenly shouted, wait I'm a talking tree
And the lumberjack grinned and said,
And you will dialogue
The New Lumberjack
A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working fine.
The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"
How did the lumberjack cure his constipation?
He dropped a log.
Whats the difference between being a lumberjack and any other job?
You get the axe when you're hired not fired.
A lumberjack goes into a magical forest to chop down some wood..
He goes up to the first tree he sees, and just as he's about to swing, the tree says, "Wait! Don't kill me! I'm a talking tree!"
"Yes," the lumberjack says, "and you'll dialogue."
As a lumberjack i know i have cut down 2,718 trees.
Because every time I cut one down I keep a log.
What do you call it when a lumberjack turns on their computer?
Logging in.
A lumberjack went to a doctor complaining of back pain and can't carry heavy logs.
He was told he didn't have enough lumber support.
Why don't lumberjacks work naked?
They might cut the wrong wood
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree. It shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree
The lumberjack smiled, and you will dialogue .
A lumberjack was being cross-examined during a murder trial.
The defense lawyer, trying to discredit the lumberjack as a witness, asked him:
"Is it true you were working at night? How can you be sure that it was a pine tree that fell on the victim?"
The lumberjack replied confidently: "I know what I saw."
How do lumberjacks know how many trees they have cut down?
They keep a log!
Every knows about comedian Bill Burr.
Many have not heard of his lumberjack brother Tim, he is one of the best in the world.
Tree: Wait, I am a talking tree?
Lumberjack: Yes, and you will dialogue
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and an agreeable man walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he concurred.
A lumberjack says to another
You know I can cut a log just by looking at it.
The other lumberjack says that's not possible .
The lumberjack says It may seem impossible but I saw it with my own two eyes.
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
How do lumberjacks know how many trees they've cut?
They keep a log of each one.
A lumberjack once told me he's cut down 27,572 trees.
How do ya know exactly how many? I inquired.
Easy. I keep a log.
I met a person claiming to be the greatest lumberjack.
I asked "How do you know, you are the greatest"
Well, have you ever heard of the sahara forest ?
I replied you mean the Sahara desert ?
Well I guess they call it that now.
Lumberjacks are bad at fixing computers
They only know how to log out.
What's the difference between a miner and a lumberjack?
You don't get arrested for dating a lumberjack.
My 3 year old's first joke: what did the lumberjack say to the tree?
I saw you.
A lumberjack chooses a tree to chop down. Before he has a chance to swing his axe, the tree exclaims, "WAIT! Don't do this! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack responds, "Good. Then you will dialogue."
I asked a lumberjack who many trees had he cut
He said 23,679
I asked how do you know the exact number
He said I keep a log
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lumberjack chainsaw jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lumberjack forest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.