luigi Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious luigi puns

How do you talk to a dead Italian?

with a luigi board

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How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

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What does Mario use to talk to dead people?

A Luigi Board

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So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

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Mario and Luigi

Peach is walking past Mario and Luigi and hears:

"First Emma comes, then I come, then two asses come, then I come a-one more time, the two asses come again, I come a the third time, pee twice, then I come for the last time"

She walks up and slaps him.

"Mario! That's disgusting!"

"What? I teach a Luigi to spell Mississippi!"

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What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

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So the Germans were having a hard time against the entrenches Italians in WW1

Lt Rommel has an idea: "Hey, a lot of Italians are named Luigi. I say we try calling out 'hey, Luigi', and when they stick their head out to answer, we shoot them." It was decided that it was worth a try so early the next morning the Germans launch their new "offensive".

A German soldier called out, "Hey, Luigi!".

An Italian soldier stuck his head out and replied, "Ya?"

BANG!

This went on for a while.

"Hey, Luigi!"

"Ya?"

BANG!

It wasn't too long until the Italians figured out what was going on. One of their officers came up with an idea. He said that a lot of Germans were named Hans, and all they had to do was call out "Hey, Hans!" and they'd be shooting Germans, too. It seemed like a good plan so first thing next morning they tried it out.

"Hey, Hans!"

"That you, Luigi?"

"Ya!"

BANG!

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What does Mario use to contact his dead brother?

A Luigi Board.

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How do you contact a dead itallian?

With a Luigi board

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Me and this girl would smash all the time, but eventually we broke up. Why?

She never let me pick luigi

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Mario's brother died...

But he was still able to contact him through a Luigi board.

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Mario and Luigi were on the bus while visiting America

So Mario says to Luigi, "Emma comes first, then I come, two asses come together, I come again, two more asses, I pee two times, finally I come again." A woman overheard this and disgusted, she shouts, "Don't tell each other about your sexual experiences on the bus, you pervert!" Luigi says, "Relax, he was just telling me how to spell Mississippi!"

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How did Mario talk to his brother after he died?

He used a Luigi board.

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Luigi's Fruit Shop

Maria went to Luigi's fruit and vegetable shop every week. She walked in on this particular day and said, 'Hello, Luigi. I woulda lika two kilos of tomatoes pleasa.'
'Ah, Maria, so sorry I have no tomatoes today.'
'Luigi, don'ta joka with me. You know that I always buy my tomatoes from you. Just give me my tomatoes, Luigi.'
'Maria, I told you, I have no tomatoes today.'
'Luigi, I'm in a hurry, please give me two kilos of tomatoes.'
'Maria, it's like this. How do you say "carrots", without the "c"?'
'Arrots.'
'How do you say "potatoes without the "p"?
'Otatoes.'
'How do you say "tomatoes" without the "f"?
'There's no "f" in tomatoes."
'That's whata I been trying to tell you, Maria. There's no effing tomatoes!'

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An old Italian man goes to the doctor's office...

He says - "Doctor, I want you to take a look at my penis."

The Doctor says - "Sure, Luigi. Go in the other room and remove your pants. I will be in there shortly."

The doctor comes in the room and gets down on one knee and inspects the old man's package.

After a thorough inspection the doctor stands up and says - "Luigi, there's nothing wrong with you penis, your penis is fine."

And the old man says - "I know. It's nice, eh?"

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The Italians are fighting Americans in the trenches

An American gets the idea to yell the name Luigi, and being a common Italian name when someone hears their name and looks up, they shoot him.

"Hey, Luigi!"

An Italian looks up and says

"Yeah?"

BANG

After the Americans do this a few times, the Italians try it for themselves. They decide to yell the name John, being a common American name.

"Hey-a, John!"

An American shouts back

"Hey! Is that you Luigi?"

The Italian looks up

"Yeah, itsa me!"

BANG

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Mario & Luigi

Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called.
Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario

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How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

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Shoe Crack!

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchased them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?"

Startled, Sophia replies, "Yes, Luigi , I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?"

Luigi answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?"

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, "Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?"

Rosa answers, "Yes, Luigi , I do, but how do you know that?"

He replies, "I see the reflection in my new$300 Armani leather shoes... How do you like them?"

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red... He states, "Carmela, be stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!" Carmela smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight..."

Luigi gasps, "Thanka Goda ....I thought I had a CRACK in my$300 Armani leather shoes...!"

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If I had to choose to hang out with either Mario, Luigi or Toad. I'd pick Toad.

He seems like a fungi.

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Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"

Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water He took out a net and started picking up the best ones.

"Luigi!" said the game warden, "You know that's illegal!" "I'm going to have to arrest you now."

Luigi took out another stick of dynamite, lit it and handed it to the game warden and said,

"Hey! are you gonna talk or fish?"

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How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?

He used a Luigi Board.

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Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

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And old Italian man goes to the doctor...

And he says "Doctor, I want you to take a look at my penis"

The doctor says "Sure Luigi, go in the other room, take off your pants and I will be in to see you in a few minutes"

So Luigi goes into into the next room and removes his pants and the doctor comes in and gets down on one knee and starts to inspect his package.

After a minute the doctor stands up and says "Luigi, there's nothing wrong with your penis, your penis is fine"

And Luigi says "I know, it's nice, eh"

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How does Mario speak to the dead?

With a Luigi board

Credit to u/gagga_hai

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My house is haunted by Nintendo characters.

I knew I shouldn't have fooled around with that Luigi board.

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Since Luigi died in the Smash direct, what do we have to use to contact him?

A Luigi board

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Mario and Luigi got a package in the mail...

Luigi opened it, and exclaimed 'it's a Wii, Mario!'

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Have you guys heard about the old italian plumber who can talk to ghosts?

He uses a Luigi board.

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An Italian, German, and Pollack are walking through the desert

The Italian is carrying a paper bag, the German is carrying a cooler, and the Pollack is carrying a car door.

The Italian looks at the German and asks, "Wern, why are you carrying a cooler?" He replies "In case we get thirsty!"

The German then asks,
"Luigi! Why do you have a paper bag?"

To which he replies "I brought sandwiches in case we get hungry!"

Finally, the German and Italian look over to the Pollack and ask "Hey Aleksander, why are you carrying a car door?

He replies "I brought it so when it gets hot we can roll down the window!"

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Mario and Luigi walk into a DVD shop.

Mario holds up a movie.

Is-a that the exorcist? Luigi asked.

This is It, Luigi. Mario replied.

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What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin

I'll see myself out now...thank you

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How do you communicate with deceased Nintendo characters at Halloween

With a Luigi Board

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Giuseppe the Boat Builder

Giuseppe and Luigi are sitting on the bluff overlooking the village and harbor below.

Giuseppe turns to Luigi and says...

"Luigi, look down on the village below.

"You built almost every house in the village.

"And you, they call 'Luigi the House Builder.'

"Now, look down at the harbor.

"See all those boats there?

"I built almost every one of them.

"So, you think they'd call me 'Giuseppe the Boat Builder,' right?

"But you fuck one goat..."

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Did you know that Kenny G has a cousin who works in the video game industry?

Luigi.

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What are the most funny Luigi jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Luigi? Well, here are the best Luigi dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Luigi pick up lines to share with friends.

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