The Best 84 Luggage Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Luggage jokes. There are some luggage suitcase jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these luggage lost luggage puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Luggage Jokes and Puns

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.

Sadly, he lost his case.

As migration approached, two elderly vultures

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."

A photon walks into a hotel.....

..... And is asked if he needs help with his luggage.

The photon replies, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Luggage joke, A photon walks into a hotel.....

Free ride

Tourist to Taxi driver: "How much is it to the airport?"

Taxi driver: "That's five pounds twenty."

Tourist: "And how much is it for the luggage?"

Taxi driver: "The luggage, of course, is free."

Tourist: "All right, just take that stuff along. I'm walking."

Photon

A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk man asks if he has any luggage. The photon replies "No, I'm travelling light."


A man brought a dead animal onto a plane...

When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, "It's my carrion luggage!"

Finally some good news for the passengers of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370.

Their luggage has landed safely in Manchester.

Luggage joke, Finally some good news for the passengers of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370.

A blonde woman waves a cab

She asks the cab driver
"How much do you charge to drive me to the nearest airport?"

The cab driver answers
"Around 20 bucks"

The woman then says "I'm carrying luggage, do these get charged?"

Driver: "No, i don't charge for luggage"

The woman smiles, leaves her luggage in the cab and then says
"see you at the airport then, ill take the bus"

Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?

#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.

*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*

*

A vulture boards a plane

Tired of flying himself, a vulture boards a plane carrying with him his lunch, a dead animal. The atendant notices and says, "Sir, we do not allow you to bring on dead animals." Quite surprised, the vulture says, "But I was told I could bring carrion luggage."

British Airways. Breakfast in London. Dinner in New York.

Luggage in Tokyo.

You can explore luggage satchel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean luggage handbag dad jokes. There are also luggage puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Some accuse me of being a luggage denier.

I want to assure everyone, that is definitely not the case.

An Irishman is at JFK airport in New York

He is standing over a broken whiskey bottle and crying. A security guard approaches him and asks what's wrong. The Irishman wipes away his tears and says, "I LOST ALL ME LUGGAGE!"

BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.

Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane?

Because he ate his carrion.

Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane?

He was Travelling Light

Luggage joke, Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane?

A photon walks into a hotel...

and the desk clerk says, "can I help you with your luggage?"

The photon responds, "no thanks, I'm traveling light."

A photon checks into a motel

the clerk says, "Do you have any luggage? If so, I can have the bell hop take it to your room."

The photon replies, "No, I am traveling light!"

Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.


A photon is going through airport security...

The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.

The photon says, No, I'm traveling light.

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop asks, "May I help you with your luggage?"

The photon responds, "No thank you. I'm traveling light."

Little Johnny told his parent "I'm a grown up now, I am ready to live by myself"

His parent, being very proud of their son, said "Well that's great! We have no reason to stop you"

To which he replied "Awesome! Your luggage is at the front door"

What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon?

The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light.

A photon stops at a hotel and is asked: "May I take your luggage?"

He replies, "No, thanks. I'm traveling light."

A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

A photon arrives at the airport

As he checks in, security asks him: "Do you not have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light".

A photon walks into a hotel with his luggage...

The bellhop asks, "sir, do you need help with your bags?"

The photon responds, "that's alright, I'm traveling light!"

I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

I tried getting on a plane with a dead moose once.

The attendant said I had to check it as luggage. I said, no it's carrion.

I said to my parents, "Mom, dad... I've decided to live on my own from now on."

"Okay, that's fine." they replied.

I added, "Your luggage is outside."

A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture

He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.

"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.

The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bell hop asks "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies "No I'm traveling light."

Why could the vulture not take two carcasses onto the plane?

Because he was only allowed one piece of carrion luggage.

Know a guy who took an airline to court over missing luggage...

...He lost his case

I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, I want to sue the airline.

You don't have much of a case, he replied.

A man lost his luggage in an airport , so he sued the airport...

Needless to say, he lost the case.

A photon walks into a hotel

The hotel clerk asks, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon responds, "No, I'm travelling light"

My kid was boarding the wrong flight when he asked me, "What's another name for onboard luggage?"

I said, "Carry-on, my wayward son."

A man lost his luggage so he took the airline company to court

Apparently he lost his case

This guy lost his luggage, so he went to court.

He apparently lost his case.

Tried to sue British Airways because they lost my luggage.

Turns out I didn't have a case.

A photon walks into a hotel

The concierge says, "need any help with your luggage?"

"Nah" says the photon. "I'm traveling light"

A photon checks into a hotel, and when the bellhop asks if can help with the luggage, the photon says

"*I don't have any, because I'm traveling light*"

What's the difference between a teenage girl and the Popes luggage?

One is totes blessed and the other is blessed totes.

The airline smashed my luggage

so I asked my lawyer if I could sue them... he said, "you don't have much of a case".

I hired some lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.

They lost my case.

I was packing my luggage with German sausage, when my wife told me, "Don't overfill it. Last time it exploded in the airport and you caused a scene".

"Dont be silly", I said, "you're always thinking of the wurst case scenario".

Photon checks into a hotel

Receptionist: do you need help with the luggage?
Photon: no thanks, I'm traveling light.

A German was packing his luggage for holiday when his wife interrupts him...

"I hope you're not going to bring sausages again", she said, "They exploded everywhere last time and caused a frightful scene!"

"It'll be fine", He said, "Stop worrying about the wurst case scenario".

What did the vulture bring on his flight?

Carrion luggage.

Did you hear about Schrodinger's missing luggage?

It was an open and shut case.

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage.

The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!

A man was suing an airline for losing his luggage

Unfortunately he lost his case

I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage.

I unfortunately lost the case.

What did the snail call his luggage?

His-cargo

A man took an airline to court after they lost his luggage

He lost his case

A photon walks into a hotel.

The desk clerk says, Can we help you with your luggage?
The photon says, No, thanks. I'm traveling light.

I just told my luggage there will be no vacations this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

Finding your lost luggage at the airport should be easy......

however, that's not the case.

What do you call a snail's luggage?

Its cargo

Took Qantas to court over my missing luggage.

They lost the case.

I sued the airlines after they lost my luggage.

I lost the case.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

I tried to sue an airport because of my missing luggage.

I lost my case.

A man who sued an airline for misplacing his luggage

Unfortunataly lost his case.

Why are flights with crows often delayed?

Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

A man who thinks he's a piece of luggage has been admitted to a mental hospital.

Psychiatrists say he's the strangest case they've ever come across.

I am suing American Airlines for losing my luggage

Update: I lost the case

What kind of luggage does a vulture use for traveling?

Carrion bags.

I took British Airlines to court after losing my luggage.

The judge threw it out because we had no case

A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture.

The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"

He said "It's my carri-on luggage"

*sorry sorry sorry*

A photon checks into a hotel

A photon checks into a hotel and the lady at the desk asks him: "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies: "No I'm travelling light"

I sued the airport the other day because they didn't want to give me my luggage

Guess what, I lost the case

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks...

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No" replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea.

She won't find out until she unpacks her luggage.

Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.

But cases continue to rise.

I'm at JFK and the man in front of me has collapsed on the luggage carousel.

He's coming round slowly….

A photon is checking into his hotel, the man behind the front desk asked him if he needed help with his luggage. The photon replied nah

I'm just traveling light

Why don't vultures check their luggage?

They prefer carrion.

A man was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized bag in the plane.

Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to put his bag in the overhead compartment.

"Do you always carry such heavy luggage", she asked.

"No more", the man replied. "Next time, I would be riding in the bag and my partner can buy the ticket".

Air Postal Service

A man sets down three pieces of luggage at a very famous **International Airlines** (*that shall not be named*) check-in counter and says, "I want the brown bag to go to London, the black one to go to Paris," he said. "And keep the third bag here till my return from Australia next week for pick up."

The check-in clerk blinked. A supervisor standing behind him overheard the request and came up. "I am sorry sir, but we are not the **post office**," he said, "we can't do that."

"Why not?" the irate passenger said, raising his voice, "That's what you did the last time!"

My son came to pick me up for a road trip. He had a new luggage rack on top of his car.

He said, See this, it's Iraq. It's for your Baghdad.

I was so proud.

What type of luggage do vultures fly with?

Carrion

A Photon Checks Into A Hotel…

The lady asks if she's carrying any luggage, to which the photon replies, No, I'm traveling light.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the luggage toiletries jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working luggage holiday luggage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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