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Lucy Jokes

37 lucy jokes and hilarious lucy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lucy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a laugh? This article covers the best Lucy jokes from names and sports to Joanna, Lizzie, and Sally. Whether you love the name Lucy or just need a good chuckle, you won't be disappointed!

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Popular Lucy Short Jokes

Short lucy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lucy humour may include short sally jokes also.

  1. So i stole this joke from I Love Lucy, So a woman walks into a restaurant The woman says to the waiter, "Two pork chops, and make them lean." And the waiter says, "Yes, ma'am. Which way?"
  2. So if Lucy died 3.2 million years ago after falling from a tree... ...does that qualify her for a Darwin award?
  3. Last Halloween, my friend Lucy dressed up like a cat burglar on a jewel heist. Lucy….in disguise with diamonds.
  4. Psychiatrist office: My sister treats me like Lucy treats Linus. The psychiatrist thinks for a moment and says, Sounds like you have analogy to Peanuts.
  5. Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said "I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."
  6. If Cruella de Vil had a daughter, she would be named Lucy. Lucy would aid the family business by taking up a logistics division, calling the child company Lucy's Fur.
  7. Me: i'm going to meet with my friends molly, Lucy and DiMiTri Dad: son, I've had imaginary friends too, i still do, don't tell your mom.
  8. You know what they say about the communist girl with beautiful handwriting? Leftie-Lucy Writey Tidy
  9. What happens when Lucy starts using 100% of her brain? She's almost as smart as a man.
  10. Where did Lucy go during the b**...? Everywhere.

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Lucy One Liners

Which lucy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lucy? I can suggest the ones about molly and .

  1. What type of tree does a Satanist get for Christmas? A Lucy Fir
  2. Lucy, In the Sky, With Diamonds John Lennon, proving he was a terrible Clue player
  3. What do you call the Devil's tree? Luci-fir
  4. I'll never forget my aunt Lucy's last words. "Ok, I'm starting my vow of silence now."
  5. I use to be a zenaphobe..... Until I found out it has nothing to do with Lucy Lawless...
  6. Hey, Lucy! Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
  7. "Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds" John Lennon - World's Worst Cluedo Player.
  8. Lucy, in the Sky, with Diamonds??? John, you are profoundly bad at Cluedo...
  9. What was Satan's band in high school called? The Luci-4
  10. Why did Lucy drop her ice cream cone Because she was hit by a truck
  11. TIFU by mixing up my wives subway orders. I gave Lucy's to Rosa, and Rosa's to Lucy.
  12. Why is Xena never charged with any crime? Because she's Lucy Lawless
  13. Why don't I date liberals? Righty Tighty, Lefty Lucy
  14. What do you call a woman with six kids? Lucy
  15. What did Aslan tell Lucy about the Witch and the Wardrobe? It's Narnia business.

Lucy joke, What did Aslan tell Lucy about the Witch and the Wardrobe?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about lucy can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of lucy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Lucy Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about lucy you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make lucy prank.

A riddle for the day

A riddle for the day
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )
----------------------------------------------------------
The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!

What were you thinking?

Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
j**... Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?

Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.

Each person was assigned a country to report on.
Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!
Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.
With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.

Little Johnny was in math class

The class was learning subtraction with big numbers today, and the teacher decided to use money as the unit of measurement. Johnny hadn't been paying much attention, so the teacher called on him, "Little Johnny, if you start with $1000 and gave $150 to Lucy, $150 to Suzy and $200 to Brittany, what would you have?"
"Well I'd have $500 left over after a very expensive o**..., sir"

A husband tells his wife about the car c**... he got into...

Husband: Hey, I got in a car c**... today. I got hurt real bad, I broke my arm and fractured my wrist. I also sprained my ankle and the car nearly exploded! Luckily Lucy pulled me out of the car just before it exploded. I spent a couple days in hospital but I'm fine now.
Wife: Who's Lucy?

People like to point out that the title of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" sounds like the substance that probably inspired the song...

...and sometimes I wonder the same thing about the title of the movie The Dark Crystal.

A riddle for today

A riddle for today
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
[The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)

I call my ex-wife Lucy...

It's short for l**....

Lucy fell in front of the train

she screamed out for help "HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!",
so Luke came running over and cut her t**... instead.
Nice work Luke.
You should be more like Luke.

Lucy joke, Me: i'm going to meet with my friends Molly, Lucy and DiMiTri

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these lucy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.