Luckily Jokes
99 luckily jokes and hilarious luckily puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about luckily that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Luckily Short Jokes
Short luckily jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The luckily humour may include short thankfully jokes also.
- My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again. Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
- My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
- My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
- Today I came out to my parents, and my dad instantly wanted to disown me. Luckily, his boyfriend talked him out of it
- A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man. - My son was so upset when he didn't get a gaming pc for his birthday luckily, this playstation was able to..........console him
- Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the television.
- My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head, Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.
- Last night my black colleague....... Last night my black colleague walked away with the 'Employee of the year' award.
Luckily security stopped him at the door. - Sometimes you have to choose between what is hard and what is easy Luckily for you I'm both right now
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Luckily One Liners
Which luckily one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with luckily? I can suggest the ones about lucky and fortunately.
- My friend threw a can of coke at my head today... Luckily it was a soft drink.
- Fifty clowns got fired from the circus. Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.
- A vending machine fell on me today Luckily it only had soft drinks
- Last night, my wife and I watched 4 films back to back Luckily, I was facing the TV
- There was a major car pileup in Mexico Luckily, no Juan was hurt.
- I lost track of our Dalmation Puppy Luckily, she was spotted
- My friend didn't take one of his power tools seriously. Luckily it was just a drill.
- I used to have such a bad fear of boats Luckily, that ship has sailed.
- 2020 so far has put up a good fight but luckily for us 2021.
- I slept through the alarm this morning Luckily it wasn't a big fire
- Luckily the blade of grass got arrested in the summer Because he's about to make bale!
- I was hit by a stationary vehicle the other day, luckily it wasn't carrying any scissors
- I ran into a fat guy on the way to work Luckily I bounced back
- Two sharp criminals just vandalized your home! Luckily, the damage looks to B Minor
- My computer was arguing with me Luckily, my next move shut it down.
Laughter Luckily Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about luckily you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thank god jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make luckily pranks.
I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives.
Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a m**... in my yard last night.
Luckily, they flew away this morning.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Boy chokes on a coin
A little boy was playing in his yard when he swallowed a coin that became lodged in his t**.... His mother picked him up and ran down the street screaming for help. Luckily, a man ran over and hit the boy hard on the back so that the coin popped out of his mouth. "Thank you so much, doctor!" the mother said.
"Oh, I'm not a doctor, ma'am," said the man. "I work for the IRS"
I saw an entire display of beer fall over onto a small child
at the grocery store today.
Luckily the kid was okay. It was Bud Light.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Be careful of your aim
A woman was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her that her children will be all right, and that one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" So she goes, "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"
I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving...
luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer.
I've been a little worried about the voices I hear in my head,..
.. luckily one of them is a therapist and he's been helping me through it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there's this lemon...
And he's running down the street.
He trips and falls on the sidewalk, leaving him with a n**... gash on his arm.
Luckily, another lemon walks by and patches him up with a Lemonaid kit.
(It's really bad, but the joke inspired my username. Just had to share.)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A husband tells his wife about the car c**... he got into...
Husband: Hey, I got in a car c**... today. I got hurt real bad, I broke my arm and fractured my wrist. I also sprained my ankle and the car nearly exploded! Luckily Lucy pulled me out of the car just before it exploded. I spent a couple days in hospital but I'm fine now.
Wife: Who's Lucy?
I only drink on special occasions...
Luckily for me, I just broke my record for consecutive days alive today
I had a job interview today, the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years.
Luckily, I have 2020 vision.
This Vietnamese couple I knew got married...
Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyễn-Nguyễn situation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I witnessed an attempted m**... earlier...
Luckily only one crow showed up...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman wakes up from a coma and...
A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew
A close call.
Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.
A woman collapsed on the street
Her husband, luckily, was able to catch her in time.
"Is anyone here a doctor!?" The husband shouted with sheer panic in his tone.
A man barreled through the onlooking crowd, knocking a few of them over to join the husband and wife.
"I'm a vegan!" The man said.
My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked.
There was a diamond in the ruff.
Pulling Together
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not comfortable with my sexuality...
but luckily I have a discomfort f**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mother was in a car c**... but luckily she was okay...
WAS okay, she's dead now.
My parents have been yelling at me that I'm wasting my life doing nothing but playing video games.
Luckily I have three lives left.
An amputee broke into my house last night and tried to steal my stuff
Luckily he was unarmed
I was once chased by a group of angry feminists
Luckily there was a flight of stairs so I was able to get out of their grasp
When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here.
Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung.
I was too quick with the s**....
My son used to be horrible at graphing trig functions.
Luckily he's made excellent sines of improvement.
I told my friends a cancer joke, but they didn't think it was funny. I was asked if I had anything else...
...luckily I still had tu mor.
Star Wars was originally supposed to be an R-rated movie on account of one characters dialogue,
But luckily they bleeped all R2-D2's lines out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The bird flu is pretty n**...
Luckily, it's tweetable.
Yesterday a girl I had a crush on for 3 years told me she sees me like a brother...
Luckily she's from Texas
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny goes to his mother...
"Mommy, Mommy! do you know that my new babysitter is an angel?"
"Oh why do you say so?" replies the Mother.
"Because this morning, while you were out, she was standing all n**... in your room on the bed under the crucifix you and Dad keep on the wall screaming \-I am coming, oh Lord, I am coming!!!\- luckily Daddy was behind holding her down"...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation.
I cut the patient's o**... on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all. Nobody expected the Spanish missed the incision.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I nearly lost my job as a roofer when I was caught m**... on the first day,
luckily my boss said I could wipe the slate clean.
That moment when your neighbour is ringing at your door at 3am like crazy...
But luckily you're still awake because you're drilling holes for your new IKEA bookcase
Over the past few months I've lost 200 pounds!
Luckily, the police found the thief and returned my money
Did you guys hear that Nicolas Cage robbed all the coins from a bank recently? Luckily he got caught and went to jail, plus all of the money got returned!
He's currently in a Nickleless nicolas cage Cage
The super bowl is this weekend, don't forget to bring a jacket because it's supposed to get cold.
Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pregnant woman walks into a bank being robbed,
She tried to call the cops and got shot in the stomach three times. Luckily, all her children were safe.
15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Then, her other daughter walked into the room and she said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Finally, her son came in and she assumed she knew what he was going to say, "Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
The son replied, "No, what? I was m**... and I shot the dog."
My doctor recently diagnosed me with Alzheimer's
Luckily I was able to go home and forget about it.
I got into a fight in the drug store and they threw a bottle of Omega 3 at me.
Luckily my wounds were only super fish oil.
A penguin is driving to the mall...
All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."
I got hit in the head when someone threw a can of cod liver oil at me yesterday...
Luckily the damage was just super fish oil
These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages.
Luckily for me I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.
The safety distance of 2 meters has been hard for the people in Finland.
Luckily, when it's over, we can return to the usual 10 meter distancing.
COVID-19 can damage the heart, lung, and brain.
Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.
My girlfriend got really mad at me today, screaming about how I always have to be right about things and how I'm a complete monster like Frankenstein or something.
Luckily she paused for breath so I was able to point out Frankenstein was the doctor's name.
My best friend told me he was planning on naming his son "Square Root of 2".
Luckily his wife managed to convince him that would be completely irrational.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was queuing to go into the supermarket when the man in front of me f**....
Before I could say anything, he said, "If you heard anything it means you're not following social distancing. But if you can smell it, luckily for you it means that you're covid negative!"
As I got home drunk...
... at 2AM, my wife refused to let me in, but luckily my best friend opened the door for me.
So happy to have homie like him.
The other day I got lost in the Jungle, but luckily I had a compass with me...
So I was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the kettle e**...?
Luckily, there were no casual-teas.
I was worried about my prostate exam
But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Meghan may face some akward times with the Royal Family at the f**... of Prince Philip
But luckily, black is generally accepted at funerals.
I had a dream I turned into a young chicken and had trouble changing back to being a human.
Luckily, I was able to pullet off...
Will the ex pop up again?
A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What have you been up to today?" the bartender asks. "Funny you should ask. My horoscope said that my ex would pop up today," the gal says. "I've been down at the river all day, and luckily, no sign of him so far."
My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.
Luckily we still won on aggregate.
I was sitting in the courtroom the other day and my phone started to die. Luckily I brought my mobile power bank.
Anyways, I was charged with battery.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First day as an undertaker
A brand new undertaker walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was the first day on the job?" the bartender asks. "Not good. Had my first f**... today and I managed to drop the casket as I was loading it into the car," the undertaker says. "Luckily my boss was understanding. He told me I just need to rehearse it."
Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay....
Luckily I'm a statistician.
Pull
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
Studies show that 75 percent of blondes have lower-than-average intelligence.
Luckily, I'm a blonde and I'm in the remaining 35%
