Luckily Jokes

99 luckily jokes and hilarious luckily puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about luckily that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Short Luckily Jokes
Luckily One Liners
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Funniest Luckily Short Jokes

Short luckily jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The luckily humour may include short thankfully jokes also.

My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again. Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
Today I came out to my parents, and my dad instantly wanted to disown me. Luckily, his boyfriend talked him out of it
My neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 AM! Luckily for him i was still up playing my drum
A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
My son was so upset when he didn't get a gaming pc for his birthday luckily, this playstation was able to..........console him
I just found out that my Grief Counselor died Luckily, he was so good at his job, I don't really give a toss
I got hit in the head with a can of Dr. Pepper today Luckily I'm not hurt, it was a soft drink
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the television.

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Luckily One Liners

Which luckily one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with luckily? I can suggest the ones about lucky and fortunately.

My friend threw a can of coke at my head today... Luckily it was a soft drink.
Fifty clowns got fired from the circus. Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.
60% of people in the world are dumb luckily I am in the 30%
I fell of a 50ft ladder today! Luckily, I was only on the second step.
A vending machine fell on me today Luckily it only had soft drinks
I fell off a 20 foot ladder yesterday... Luckily I was just on the first rung.
I just got hit in the head with a can of Pepsi Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Last night, my wife and I watched 4 films back to back Luckily, I was facing the TV
There was a major car pileup in Mexico Luckily, no Juan was hurt.
I fell off a 40 foot ladder Luckily it was the first step
I lost track of our Dalmation Puppy Luckily, she was spotted
My friend didn't take one of his power tools seriously. Luckily it was just a drill.
So a neighbor knocked on my door at 3am. *3am* Luckily I was already playing the bagpipes
I used to have such a bad fear of boats Luckily, that ship has sailed.
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.

Luckily joke, Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 at me.

Laughter Luckily Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about luckily you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thank god jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make luckily pranks.

I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives.

Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.

There was a m**... in my yard last night.

Luckily, they flew away this morning.

A Boy chokes on a coin

A little boy was playing in his yard when he swallowed a coin that became lodged in his t**.... His mother picked him up and ran down the street screaming for help. Luckily, a man ran over and hit the boy hard on the back so that the coin popped out of his mouth. "Thank you so much, doctor!" the mother said.
"Oh, I'm not a doctor, ma'am," said the man. "I work for the IRS"

Be careful of your aim

A woman was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her that her children will be all right, and that one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" So she goes, "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"

I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving...

luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer.

Last night my black colleague.......

Last night my black colleague walked away with the 'Employee of the year' award.
Luckily security stopped him at the door.

A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...

6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"

So I was walking outside yesterday(potentially offensive)...

when I saw a black guy with a TV. I was shocked, and I rushed back home, thinking it was mine. But luckily, it was still there, shining my shoes.

My newborn son...

was born with no eyelids. Luckily, the doctor was able to use the f**... (after they circumcised him) to make eyelids for him. They say he's gonna be ok...he'll just be a little cockeyed.

I only drink on special occasions...

Luckily for me, I just broke my record for consecutive days alive today

This Vietnamese couple I knew got married...

Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyễn-Nguyễn situation.

I witnessed an attempted m**... earlier...

Luckily only one crow showed up...

A woman wakes up from a coma and...

A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew

A close call.

Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

A woman collapsed on the street

Her husband, luckily, was able to catch her in time.
"Is anyone here a doctor!?" The husband shouted with sheer panic in his tone.
A man barreled through the onlooking crowd, knocking a few of them over to join the husband and wife.
"I'm a vegan!" The man said.

A woman who has just given birth has fallen into a coma.

After 7 months the mother finally awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: Good news, you had twins! a boy and a girl. They are healthy, luckily your brother named them for you.
Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's so s**...! What did he name my daughter?
Doctor: Denise.
Mother: well that isn't so bad, and what did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew.

My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked.

There was a diamond in the ruff.

Sometimes you have to choose between what is hard and what is easy

Luckily for you I'm both right now

Pulling Together

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

My mother was in a car c**... but luckily she was okay...

WAS okay, she's dead now.

My parents have been yelling at me that I'm wasting my life doing nothing but playing video games.

Luckily I have three lives left.

When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here.

Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.

I almost witnessed a m**...

Luckily, only one crow showed up.

Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung.

I was too quick with the s**....

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me today...

...luckily my injuries where only super fish oil.

A few months ago my friend got ill and his body temperature dropped to -273.15°C

Luckily he turned out to be 0K

My son used to be horrible at graphing trig functions.

Luckily he's made excellent sines of improvement.

I told my friends a cancer joke, but they didn't think it was funny. I was asked if I had anything else...

...luckily I still had tu mor.

I'm finally 5 years clean!

Having to get a shower every day has been hard - luckily, I've had my h**... addiction to help me through it.

I watched 3 movies back to back with my wife last night.

Luckily, I was the one facing the screen.

My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

TIL that 97% of people are s**... . . .

Luckily I'm part of the other 5%.

I'm a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation.

I cut the patient's o**... on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all. Nobody expected the Spanish missed the incision.

An Englishman is stranded in his broken down boat,..

...but luckily another boat comes up to help. The rescue boat has a man and two women in it. "I say old chap, could I borrow one of your oars?"...."These are not me oars, these are me sisters!"

I nearly lost my job as a roofer when I was caught m**... on the first day,

luckily my boss said I could wipe the slate clean.

The other day I got lost in the jungle but luckily I had a compass

So i was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil

Did you guys hear that Nicolas Cage robbed all the coins from a bank recently? Luckily he got caught and went to jail, plus all of the money got returned!

He's currently in a Nickleless Nicolas Cage Cage

A pregnant woman walks into a bank being robbed,

She tried to call the cops and got shot in the stomach three times. Luckily, all her children were safe.
15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Then, her other daughter walked into the room and she said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Finally, her son came in and she assumed she knew what he was going to say, "Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
The son replied, "No, what? I was m**... and I shot the dog."

I got into a fight in the drug store and they threw a bottle of Omega 3 at me.

Luckily my wounds were only super fish oil.

A mugger stole my mood ring from me, but luckily, I wasn't hurt.

I really don't know how to feel about it.

Did you know that 97% of the world is s**...

Luckily, I'm the other 5%

A penguin is driving to the mall...

All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."

These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages.

Luckily for me I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.

The safety distance of 2 meters has been hard for the people in Finland.

Luckily, when it's over, we can return to the usual 10 meter distancing.

My girlfriend got really mad at me today, screaming about how I always have to be right about things and how I'm a complete monster like Frankenstein or something.

Luckily she paused for breath so I was able to point out Frankenstein was the doctor's name.

I was skydiving and my parachute malfunctioned.

Luckily, I had the rest of my life to fix it.

95% of people are completely s**...

Luckily, I'm in the other 10%

My best friend told me he was planning on naming his son "Square Root of 2".

Luckily his wife managed to convince him that would be completely irrational.

I was just struck in the head by a flying bottle of omega 3 pills!

.... luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil.

I was queuing to go into the supermarket when the man in front of me f**....

Before I could say anything, he said, "If you heard anything it means you're not following social distancing. But if you can smell it, luckily for you it means that you're covid negative!"

The other day I got lost in the Jungle, but luckily I had a compass with me...

So I was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil.

I was worried about my prostate exam

But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.

Hit with a can

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

Neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3AM

My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3am. Can you believe it!?
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.

Saw a kid riding a bike that looked the same as mine in my neighborhood

I freaked out and went to my garage. Luckily he was still there; chained up and begging for food.

Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily, I only sustained super fish oil injuries

Can you believe that ! My neighbour knocked on my door at 1:30am this morning.

Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

Will the ex pop up again?

A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What have you been up to today?" the bartender asks. "Funny you should ask. My horoscope said that my ex would pop up today," the gal says. "I've been down at the river all day, and luckily, no sign of him so far."

My wife and I watched three films back to back last night….

Luckily I was the one facing the telly

First day as an undertaker

A brand new undertaker walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was the first day on the job?" the bartender asks. "Not good. Had my first f**... today and I managed to drop the casket as I was loading it into the car," the undertaker says. "Luckily my boss was understanding. He told me I just need to rehearse it."

Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay....

Luckily I'm a statistician.

Thoughts go out my Mother-in-law. She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face

Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the s**....

My friend was hit by a lorry carrying omega3 supplements

Luckily the injuries were super fish oil

Pull

Studies show that 75 percent of blondes have lower-than-average intelligence.

Luckily, I'm a blonde and I'm in the remaining 35%

I once went on a school trip to a coffee factory.

We were having a guided tour around the production line but sadly one of my friends fell into the coffee grinder and died.
Luckily it was instant.