Loyalty Jokes

25 loyalty jokes and hilarious loyalty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loyalty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Loyalty Short Jokes

Short loyalty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loyalty humour may include short honesty jokes also.

  1. Loyalty is very important for my wife... My girlfriend doesn't care.
    Funny how different sisters can be.
  2. I couldn't find an ice scraper for the car windscreen this morning, so I improvised using a store loyalty card from my wallet I could only get 10% off.
  3. A wife's loyalty is tested when they have nothing. But a husband's loyalty is tested when they have everything.
  4. My parents once made me smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in one sitting. To teach me about brand loyalty.
  5. Things we should be learning from dogs: 1) Love
    2) Trust
    3) Loyalty
    What we learnt: POSITION
  6. Loyalty Test... Wife buys 12 underwears of same color for hubby..🔻
    Hubby- Why same color sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
    Wife- Which people
    Total silence...
  7. I gave my girlfriend's number to my best friend to test her loyalty.. ..I just got their wedding invite in the mail today
  8. What colour in the Italian flag represents loyalty in WWII? Purple. (there's no purple in the Italian flag)
  9. Who did the Rebel pilot pledge loyalty to before crashing into the Death Star? ADMIRAL ACKBAR!!!
  10. How did the Mafioso win the loyalty of a Polish man? He made him an offer he couldn't understand.

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Loyalty One Liners

Which loyalty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loyalty? I can suggest the ones about dedication and honor.

  1. Why do Yakuza swear a loyalty oath? Because they can't do pinky promises.
  2. Just tried to de-snow my car with a loyalty card I only managed to get 10% off
  3. I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

Loyalty joke

Silly Loyalty Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about loyalty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean commitment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loyalty pranks.

A German shepherd, a Doberman and a cat died.

In heaven they faced God,who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German shepherd said "i believe in discipline, loyalty and training to my master".
"Good" said God. "You may sit on my right side".
The Doberman said "I believe in love,care and protection of my master".
"Aha,you may sit on my left" said God.
Then God looked at the cat and said" and what do you believe in"?
The cat replied " I believe you are sitting in my seat".

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.
Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.
Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.
Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?
I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."
Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"
The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today...

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car

No ice scraper for my car window this morning...

***So i used my loyalty card but could only get 10% off***

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration...

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

Infinity loop

a woman walks into her hypnotherapists office and says " Doctor, I have been loyal to my husband for 12 years but, last night I broke that loyalty and had an affair. I just want you to make me forget it happened". The Doctor said " Not again"

TIFU when my mom caught me drinking her v**......she made me drink the entire bottle to teach me a lesson

about brand loyalty

My parenrs were very principled people...

When I was young, they caught me smoking one Newport. They proceeded to force me to smoke the whole pack, just to teach me a valuable lesson..
..about brand loyalty.
_ credits to Anthony Jeselnik

Loyalty joke, How did the Mafioso win the loyalty of a Polish man?