Low Jokes
137 low jokes and hilarious low puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about low that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you tired of the same old jokes? Check out our new collection of low jokes that will tickle your funny bone and make you and your friends laugh. From witty puns to playful sarcasm, this selection of witty jokes are sure to cut low and take your humour to a whole new level. With an intake of jokes that even lowe the tolerance level of humour, this collection is sure to lighten your day.
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Funniest Low Short Jokes
Short low jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The low humour may include short tolerance jokes also.
- Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha
- I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time.
- Why does Japan have a low obesity rate and a low birth rate? They don't like Fat Man and Little Boy
- Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?
- Why is the birthrate in Japan so low? Last time they had a little boy, 66,000 people died.
- Hey, why do you still work as a mailman despite having such a low salary? It's not about the money, it's about sending a message.
- If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport... I would probably get bronze.
- What do you call a Norse god who doesn't draw much attention to themselves? Low Key.......!
- I don't understand why my credit score is so low. Every time collectors call, they say my payments have been outstanding.
- I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low'
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Low One Liners
Which low one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with low? I can suggest the ones about budget and level.
- What do we want? Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
NNEEEEOOOOWWWWW - Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low? She thought it was diet coke.
- Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low? He's a master of deduction.
- I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed... how could anyone stoop so low
- Someone broke into my house last night and stole my Limbo stick.. How low can you get?
- Why do spies never use capitalization? They like to stay low-key.
- I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low.
- How many Lowes would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowes? Who Knowes
- A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket He said, " How could someone stoop so low"
- I've searched high and low for my brother's killer but nobody is willing to do it.
- Do people in Hawaii laugh out loud? Or do they just give out a low ha ?
- Why were birth rates low in 1970? You can't get pregnant during '69.
- Why did no one notice Thor's brother? Because he was low-key
- I went to a store that sells door locks for little people. Low key, it was pretty nice.
- What do you call cheap apartments in the Middle East? Low rents of Arabia.
Low Key Jokes
Here is a list of funny low key jokes and even better low key puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did Thor ever mention he had a brother? He was very low-key about it.
- Thor: Brother! What are you doing this weekend? Loki: nothing, just hanging out
Thor: oh sweet! that sounds...
Loki: no
Thor: low key - What do you call it when a trickster god is singing just a little flat, but nobody really notices? Low-key low key Loki.
- Why Tom Hiddleston wasn't in age of ultron. Maybe Tom Hiddleston wasn't in age of ultron cause he's trying to stay low key.
- I had this great joke about Thor... but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key.
- Have you heard of the piano-playing spy? Neither have I. He's very low-key.
- I saw a Norse god discreetly playing 49Hz notes on a piano in space... I thought to myself: "What a low G low G low key low key Loki."
- what's it called when you're secretly a norse god? you're low key loki
- How does the Norse God of mischief like to celebrate his birthday? He likes to keep it low-key
- Why don't we hear very much about the Norse god of mischief? He's low key.
Low Esteem Jokes
Here is a list of funny low esteem jokes and even better low esteem puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My therapist recommended that I write in a diary to help my low self-esteem. *Dear Diary,*
S*orry to bother you again.* - My self esteem is so low.... The other night my hand told me that it had a headache.
- Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem? She was taken for granite
- Everyone says that my low self esteem looks bad on me... I agree.
- Why do Python programmers have low self esteem? They're constantly comparing their self to other.
- Why was Santa's helper doing so poorly at work? Because he had low elf-esteem
(I hope this hasn't been posted recently...Sorry if it has) - Why does Atheist Jesus have low self esteem? He doesn't believe in himself.
- My girlfriend dumped me because I have low self esteem. The worst part is she was imaginary.
- How low is my self esteem? Well, I'm pretty sure the fbi guy who's responsible for watching me put duct tape on his screen.
- Buddy, those pills you're taking, are they for your face? No, they're for my low self esteem.. So you're not taking anything for your face?
(Courtesy of C&H)
Low Carb Jokes
Here is a list of funny low carb jokes and even better low carb puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My doctor told me I need to try a low-carb diet. He put me on 6 weeks of breadrest.
- Why are these low carb diets like keto so controversial? Because they go against the grain
- Baltimore Ravens go low carb Baltimore ravens go low carb and cut Rice. (I will see myself out)
- If you drink a soda flat you'll lose more weight I mean, the soda is a low carb soda now.
- Q: What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza? ʇsnɹɔ-ᴉʇu∀ ǝɥ┴ :∀
- Healthy human blood must be a low-carb meal... Because it's the most-keto diet.
- How did Superman turn into Iron man? The Man of Steel went on a low-carb diet.
- What do you call it when a skinny person farts? ...Low Carb Emissions
Battery Low Jokes
Here is a list of funny battery low jokes and even better battery low puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the police say to the low powered robot ? "I'm gonna charge you with battery"
- A message popped up on my phone. "Your battery is low". So I took off the case and gave it a little kiss.
- Once a lawyer was fed up with his phone battery running low... so he charged it.
- Just another day in math class Teacher - what is 0.1 as a fraction
Student - 1/10th
Teacher - good, now what does 10% mean?
Student - low battery plug in your phone - My phone battery is low. Anybody know how to cheer it up?
- I've Decided to Give my Phone Drugs Because how can the battery be low if it's high?
Rib-Tickling Low Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about low you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean short jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make low pranks.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Hawaiian HOA passed a noise ordinance so strict that I can't even laugh out loud.
All i can do is a low ha.
The Irishman's parking space
An Irishman is trying to find a parking space outside his local pub on a busy evening, but cannot find a single one.
He looks skyward and says, "Lord, if you grant me this space, I'll come to Church every Sunday like a good Catholic should."
Low and behold, a space opens up right in front of him at which time, he looks skyward again and says, "Never mind, I found one."
Missing my dad today. Here's the friends in low places parody he used to sing to us at bathtime.
I take baths in wet places
Where the waters warm
And the soap chases my dirty away
I'm clean today
Now I'm not big on washing faces
Think I'll slip on down and wash other places
I take baths
In wet places
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mathematician is afraid of flying
A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.
I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up
Dad: That's a very low goal. Have some ambition
Child: How about being a doctor?
Dad: That's right!
Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....
Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm thinking about starting a dating app for low IQ people.
I'm calling it OK s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Spanking your own kids is already low
But If You s**... Someone Else's Kid
You've Hit A New Bottom
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are l**... always low on cash?
Because they're constantly eating out!
Three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger...
One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ" he exclaimed.
Joseph said: "Write that down, Mary. It's better than Wayne."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed?
How could anyone stoop so low??
Wife calls her scientist husband...
"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the guy who pick pocketed a midget?
How could he stoop so low?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand people who pickpocket midgets
How could they stoop so low?
A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper
He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"
I was reading in the paper...
And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18
The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the midget that got pick pocketed?
I can't believe someone could stoop so low..
My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure.
He prescribed two IKEA self-assembly wardrobes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl, if your beauty was represented in stocks, I'd invest everything...
Because you're at an all-time low.
(Use it to seal the deal on Valentine's Day)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!
Why do horses have such a low divorce rate?
Because they're all in *stable* relationships!
A dwarf walks into a bar
He hits his head and falls down.
.
.
.
Yes, I could have made a better joke, but the bar was set too low.
Dexter Holland wasn't always lead singer of the Offspring
Long ago he was in the seafood industry. He had a job shucking oysters for a restaurant. Anyway, one day he sees an ad for a competition in oyster shucking, but it is a team challenge. He shows up solo, and knows he won't be let in. His confidence is low at this point, but he still signs up. The attendant notices he only writes down one name, and asks why, to which Dexter replies:
"I'm just a shucker with no shellfish team"
I went to a party and all the party games were dreadful, they resorted to the Limbo for entertainment
Like seriously, how low can you go?
What do you call a lock with low self-confidence?
Insecure.
A man is caught cheating in a Limbo tournament.
The organizer, hurt and dissapointed, asks him: "How low can you go?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men get paid more than women because they choose high paying careers like doctor, engineer, and CEO
Women pick low paying careers like woman doctor, woman engineer, or woman CEO
An ant walks into this Reddit sub.
The bar is set really low here.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A North Irish girl lives with her grandmother...
and they find that they are running very low on money. The girl tells her grandma,
"I'm going to head off south to find work, I'll come back with money. I promise."
The girl is gone for many months, and when she returns home she has tons of money! The grandmother is overjoyed and says,
"How did you make all this money, child?"
The girl says in a hushed voice, "Well, I was a p**... grandma."
The grandmother looked enraged, "What did you say?!"
"I was a p**..., grandma! I'm sorry."
The grandmother calms down, "Oh thank God! I thought you said you were a protestant!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is planning on taking a vacation but is afraid of flying
He is afraid of someone b**... the plane, so he asks a statistician what the odds are of a bomb being on a plane. He says the odds are one in a million and he shouldn't worry about it.
He asks what the odds of 2 bombs being on the same plane are, and the statistician says the odds are so low it will probably never happen to anyone in the mans lifetime.
A month later they run into each other and the statistician asks if the man ever took his vacation. He says yes. The statistician asks how he got over his fear of flying and the mans says, it was easy. Every time I board a plane, I bring a bomb with me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A good, short oldie to end your Monday
A professor is working in his office during his open hours. It's only a week away from the final exam, so he thinks nothing when one his students comes in. That is, until he sees she's in a short skirt, a low cut top, and closes the door behind her.
She quickly takes a seat and leans over the desk, saying, "Professor, I *really* need to pass this class. If I pass this exam, I'll pass the class, so I really need your help. It's very important to me. I mean, I would do *anything* to pass this exam."
She reaches out and touches the professor's hand lightly. The professor raises an eyebrow and glances at the closed door. He clears his t**... and leans in.
"Anything?" he asks.
"Anything," she nods.
He takes in a deep breath and then asks, "Would you . . . study?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife has everything I could ever want in a woman:
Low standards.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was shocked...
I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself How could someone stoop so low?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man's father has just passed...
The son is arranging the f**... and talks to the mortician about his father's remains. He says "I know we don't have much money, but I want the best for my father. Please do what you can".
A week after the f**..., the mortician presents the son with a bill for $50. Thinking it to be very reasonable, the son pays the bill. The next week, the son gets another $50 bill from the mortician. He pays that as well.
A week later low and behold a third bills comes to the son for $50. The son calls the mortician and says "The f**... was 3 weeks ago, why am I still getting this $50 bill?" "You wanted the best for your father", the mortician says, "so I rented him a tux".
I read in the news that someone stole the wallet of Peter Dinklage when he was out for a walk.
I mean—-who would stoop so low?
An ultra low frequency sine wave walk into a bar.
The bartender says, Why the long phase?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cheating at a limbo contest....
that's about as low as you can get!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor told me to stop m**....
I went to the doctors yesterday and was surprised when he told me i needed to stop m**....
"Why, is my s**... count low?"
"No, you just need to let me finish your prostate exam first."
I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks.
Dad loved her, but mum said she could've done with another hour on a low heat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently, it is i**... to laugh loudly in Hawaii
All you can do is a low HA
What kind of noise does a train make?
A low commotion.
So I checked into a low class hotel
I called the frontdesk and told him "I got a leak in my sink," he said "go ahead."
So Hawaii recently made a new law in regards to noise and the increase of noise complaints due to an uprising in loud laughter.
They now have to use a low ha
I was reading earlier about a dwarf who got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
Why does Japan have such a low obesity rate?
The last time they had a Fat Man 100,000 people died.
60+ days off work, gas prices at an all time low, $1200... I know who I'm voting for...
Coronavirus for president!
A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"
The DJ just asked me "How low can you go..."
So I slept with his wife and took custody of his kids.
Why do you see a blonde crawling in the supermarket?
Because she is looking for low prices.
I don't think a wooden structure is capable of holding up my books.
I have low shelf-confidence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do people in wheelchairs have such low confidence?
Because they never stand up for themselves.
Why Does Italy Have Such A Low Teen Pregnancy Rate?
Because the kids learn in Italian history to always pull out
A guy picks up a female hitchiker...
And when they're on the road, he jokingly asks "Lady, how do you know I'm not some kind of psychotic serial killer?".
"I dunno, but I guess the odds are pretty low that you're one too.".
