Low Esteem Jokes
59 low esteem jokes and hilarious low esteem puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about low esteem that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Low Esteem Short Jokes
Short low esteem jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The low esteem humour may include short self esteem jokes also.
- what do you call a god with low self esteem? an athiest, because he just doesn't believe in himself
- If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport... I would probably get bronze.
- My therapist recommended that I write in a diary to help my low self-esteem. *Dear Diary,*
S*orry to bother you again.* - Me: So do you like guys with low self esteem? Girl: Of course, yes, I do
Me: Please don't lie to make me feel better - Why do Python programmers have low self esteem? They're constantly comparing their self to other.
- Why was Santa's helper doing so poorly at work? Because he had low elf-esteem
(I hope this hasn't been posted recently...Sorry if it has) - My girlfriend dumped me because I have low self esteem. The worst part is she was imaginary.
- How low is my self esteem? Well, I'm pretty sure the fbi guy who's responsible for watching me put duct tape on his screen.
- If God doesn't believe in himself... Does that make him an atheist or does he just have low self-esteem?
- Buddy, those pills you're taking, are they for your face? No, they're for my low self esteem.. So you're not taking anything for your face?
(Courtesy of C&H)
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Low Esteem One Liners
Which low esteem one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with low esteem? I can suggest the ones about low iq and self confidence.
- My self esteem is so low.... The other night my hand told me that it had a headache.
- Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem? She was taken for granite
- Everyone says that my low self esteem looks bad on me... I agree.
- why was santa's little helper so depressed? he had low elf esteem!
- Why does Atheist Jesus have low self esteem? He doesn't believe in himself.
- Quadriplegic people have low self esteem. They won't even stand up for themselves.
- My girlfriend left me because of my low self esteem I probably deserved it, though
- Can God be an atheist? Yes, if he has low self esteem and stops believing in himself.
- Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
- I have low self esteem so I made an imaginary girlfriend. But she dumped me...
- Lately my self esteem has been so low... Even in the shower I sing backup vocals.
- Low self esteem group meeting Please use the back door
- What do you call an ungulate with low self-esteem? A cantelope.
- Why was Santa's helper sad? He had low elf-esteem.
- What do you call God when he has low self-esteem? Atheist.
Hilarious Low Esteem Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about low esteem you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean insecure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make low esteem pranks.
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
What goes good with coconut v**...?
Teen age girls with low self-esteem and questionable morals
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
A wavy guitarist has a low self esteem
He just wanted to B-flat
How do we know that the dwarf p**... has low self-esteem?
She's always selling herself short.
I don't know if I only get girls with low self esteem cause im ugly or if because we have things in common like low self esteem
.
When god is having a day with low self esteem...
...is He atheist because He doesn't believe in Himself?
Being a Ginger I always get asked the same question and I want you to know the answer is yes....
I do have low self esteem.
Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?
He didn't know he had it in him.
When it comes to girls with low self-esteem...
guys always go for the low hanging fruit because they are easy pickings.
If you are about to euthanize a stray pet...
And a depressed little man with very low self esteem jumps into your arms.
Do you put him down?
What's the worst part about being insane with low self esteem?
Not believing in yourself is blasphemy
What Do You Call It When A Person With Low Self-Esteem Takes A Laxative?
Self-Defecation.
Once upon a time, God became an atheist...
Turns out he was grappling with a low self-esteem.
My friend from the Middle East has really low self esteem.
Thus I was not surprised to find out that she was a Qatar.
The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet on Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the door at the rear of the building.
I was at the hospital the other day and the Radiologist had really low self-esteem.
I think he had body image issues.
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.