loves Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious loves puns

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"

"Thanks dad !"

"No problem Alan"

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Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

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"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

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If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember...

that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.

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Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Alan.

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Jim had been out for a few days with the flu. Back at work,...

...he ran into a friend of his, who asked him, "Jim, how are you feeling?"

"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," Jim replied.

"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?"

"Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know, whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"

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Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him?

A glorious reader.

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[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

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Jesus loves you may be a wonderful thing to hear in church

But it's a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

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Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

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Your dog loves you more than your wife does.

Want proof? Lock them both in the trunk of your car. Let them out an hour later and see which one is happy to see you.

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"Jesus loves you."

A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

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Grandpa Always told me...

Find a woman who is smart.
Find a woman who is great in bed.
Find a woman who loves you for who you are.
And make sure none of these women ever meet.

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Jesus loves you

A comforting thing to hear in church.

A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

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I finally understand why everyone loves Gal Gadot

She Israeli hot.

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My grandpa just told me that he loves how reliable his fingers are and is really attached to them...

Says he has always been able to count on them.

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-Dad,why is my sister named Teresa?

+Because your mother loves easter.Teresa is an anagram for Easter.


-Thanks Dad


+No problem,Alan.

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I am a man who loves to give women breakfast in bed. All I want to receive in return is a simple "Thank you!"...

...not "Who are you?", "How did you get in here?", and "I'll call the police!"

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Jesus loves you.

A beautiful sentiment to hear at church.

The stuff of nightmares in a Mexican prison.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

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Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?

Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram

Son: Thanks dad

Dad: No problem Alanο»Ώ

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What mom loves...

Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers!

Son: Mom, what do you love?

Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

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My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one...

Why did the banana go to the hospital?


Because he wasn't peeling very well.

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I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late

She loves me wrong time.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...

Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "

King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.

He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".

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My gay friend told me he loves living in Pennsylvania.

He's never seen so many assholes in his life.

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"Jesus loves you" can be very comforting words...

unless you hear them in a Mexican prison

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How do you know that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for a few hours and your real bestfriend will be the one happy to see you.

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My son made it through a blood transfusion, so I bought him a 50β€³ HDTV...

He loves his new plasma...

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Jesus loves you.

A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison.

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Son told his dad he loves the girl next door

"Son, you can't love her. She's my secret daughter with another wife."

"But dad, what about the other girl next next door?"

"Sorry, son. She's also my secret daughter with the other wife."

Son walks away with tears in his eyes after knowing the truth. Mom heard it all and approaches to him

"Honey, you can love the girls next door if you want to. You're not your dad's son anyway."

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What is Stephan Hawking's favorite porn genre?

Ebony. The dude loves black holes.

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My little girl loves helping me when I'm doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon.

The sooner she's old enough to buy her own heroin, the better.

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How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

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Dad, why did you and mom choose this name?

"You see Blue, its the anagram of something your mom loves as much as you"
And why is my sister called Lana ?
"For the same reason."

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What are the most funny Loves jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Loves? Well, here are the best Loves dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Loves pick up lines to share with friends.

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