Love Romantic Jokes

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."

Once there was a prince who, through no fault of his own was placed under a curse by a witch.

The curse dictated that he was only allowed to speak one word a year. However, he could build up credits if he had not spoken for a year.
One day, a beautiful princess came to his kingdom, and he decided to refrain from speaking for two years so that he could say "My darling."
However, two years had passed and he realized he was in love with her. Thus, he decided to refrain from speaking for three years so he could say "I love you."
Then, after three years he realized that he wanted to marry her. So he did not speak for four years so he could say "Will you marry me?"
Finally, after nine years had passed, the prince took the princess to the most romantic part of the royal garden, stood on one knee, and said, "My darling, I love you. Will you marry me?"
And the princess said, "Pardon?"

The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.
However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"
But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,
"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,
"Pardon?"

Middle age texting

The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.
The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.
She texted:
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.
The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:
I'm on the toilet. Please advise.

Mixed Signals

Ben is sitting at home reading a magazine or something, I dunno, and his phone rings. He answers, "Hey, who's this?"
"Sup, Ben. It's Frank," is the reply.
B: "Hey, what's up, man?"
F: "Listen, I need some relationship advice. Can you help me?"
B: "Sure."
F: "Cool, thanks. Anyway, I've been seeing this girl lately. I'm really starting to like her, but I don't know what she's thinking. She's giving me mixed signals."
B: "How so?"
F: "Well, she said that she 'loved me like a brother.'"
B: "That seems pretty clear to me. She obviously just doesn't have a romantic attraction to you."
F: "Yeah, well that's the thing: she's from Kentucky."

A prince is cursed...

A prince is cursed one day by a witch so that he can only speak a single word a year. However, any word he does not say in a year can be rolled over and used in a following year. The prince is discouraged, but decides to go about his life anyway.
A few weeks later, the prince meets a beautiful young woman, and he waits an entire year to say "hello". He begins writing her letters, explaining his situation, and they begin to fall in love. Three years later, the prince uses his saved words to tell her, in his own voice, "I love you".
Soon, the prince decides he wants to marry her. But to make it special, he saves up his words for twelve years, so he can ask her himself. He takes her to the most romantic part of the royal gardens at sunset, gets down on one knee, and says "my darling, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?" The beautiful young woman turns to him and says:
"Pardon?"

Please Advise?

An older couple had just learned how to send text messages on their new cell phones. The wife was the romantic type and the husband more of the no-nonsense type.
One afternoon the wife went out with some friends for coffee. Being the romantic women she was, she decided to send her husband a text to let him know she was thinking of him.
It read:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
A couple minutes later the husband text back, "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

Silly Paul..

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.
Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."
Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."
"That's true," said Paul.
"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"
"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"
"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.

All Pedro wanted was weeweechu

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
Oh no, not now, let's lo ok at the moon!" said Rosita.
Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.
Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang..... "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year." MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! In advance😉😉

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.

If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?
And the lady said, I'm gay"

A prince under a spell

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.  At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. 
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?  
And the lady said, Pardon?