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Love Jokes

161 love jokes and hilarious love puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about love that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Indulge in some heartwarming humor as we present to you an enticing array of Jokes about Love. Whether it's puns on passion or the amusing anecdotes involving heart-throbs, these jokes strike the perfect balance between romantic candor and comedic charm.

Ideal for lightening the mood during a romantic dinner, as ice-breakers on a first date, or simply when looking for a fun perspective on love, these love jokes can have you chuckling collectively. So, prepare to feel the love and laughter intertwined as these rib-ticklers navigate through the roller-coaster ride of romance, underscoring that even in the realm of love, a little laughter makes everything better.

Let’s embark on this whimsical journey where love jests in a versified laughter, because love, after all, is not just about holding hands, but also about holding stomachs from excessive giggling!

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Funniest Love Short Jokes

Short love jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The love humour may include short loving jokes also.

  1. I saw a girl crying, so I asked her Where are your parents? and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage.
  2. My granddad always used to say, As one door closes another one opens. Lovely man.
    Terrible cabinet maker.
  3. "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
    "Thanks dad !"
    "No problem Alan"
  4. How many trans women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, and you don't even need the lightbulb. Just tell her she's a lovely girl, and she'll brighten up the room instantly.
  5. The creator of Mad Libs died this week. His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
  6. Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
    * "Because your other dad loves roses"
    * "Thanks dad"
    * "No problem, Richard"
  7. "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a mexican prison.
  8. My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
  9. As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
  10. I love dad jokes WIFE: I have a couple of important announcements... First: I'm pregnant.
    HUSBAND: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad
    WIFE: Second: No you're not

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Love One Liners

Which love one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with love? I can suggest the ones about likes and living.

  1. String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
  2. I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great, I love being my own boss.
  3. The Bible and the Quran tell us to love each other The Kamasutra is more specific.
  4. I said I love you to my cake. It burst into tiers.
  5. REMINDER: If you have promised your SO that you will love them 24/7 Today is 24/7
  6. The Bible tells us to love each other. The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.
  7. Why does Greta Thunberg love this sub? Coz of the amount of reused content here.
  8. Made love to my wife for an hour and four minutes tonight Thanks, Daylight Savings Time!
  9. I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels She didn't know I existed
  10. A girlfriend is like a good US president I'd love to have one
  11. I love the smell of my f5 key... It is very refreshing
  12. My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds
  13. Why does Kim Jong Un love books? Because he is the Supreme Reader.
  14. I love eating babies and smiling but I hate punctuation
  15. I love eBay! Sold my homing pigeon 4 times this month.

Love Is Jokes

Here is a list of funny love is jokes and even better love is puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I asked my wife So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty? And you know what she said? Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!
  • My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters... My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
  • We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.
  • As a person who has owned over 50 dogs in their life there are 2 thing I've learnt... 1.) Your time with them Is brief so treasure it.
    2.) They LOVE chocolate.
  • I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park. It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
  • Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products? Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
    (inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
    r/nextfuckinglevel post)
  • I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.
  • My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.
  • After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin 12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
  • If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember... that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.

I Love You Jokes

Here is a list of funny i love you jokes and even better i love you puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mother used to say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.
  • My Grandad always said, As one door closes, another one opens. Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
  • If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel
  • I love politically incorrect jokes, and here is my favourite. Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.
  • Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
    Son: Thanks dad
    Dad: No problem Alan
  • My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
  • As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
  • Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10? I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"
  • My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
  • A man asks god... Man:"Why did you make women so beautiful?"
    God:"So you would love her."
    Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb?"
    God:"So she would love you."
Love joke, A man asks god...

I Love Jokes

Here is a list of funny i love jokes and even better i love puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the perfect 'safe word'? Meatloaf
    (I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.)
  • I'm currently in a love triangle I like this girl, this girl likes nobody, and nobody likes me.
  • "I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.
    "What did you say?" said the farmer.
    "You herd me."
  • Yesterday my brother uploaded a status on Facebook. He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"
    I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.
  • I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"
    "No" she sobbed
    I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage
  • As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning... Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
    Me: ARRRGH!
    Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"!
  • When I professed my love to a female friend she told me she loved me like a brother... We are from the south so things are going good.
  • Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa? Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
    Son: Thanks dad.
    Dad: No problem Alan.
  • Why did Princess Leia date so many guys before she found Han? She was looking for love in Alderaan places.
  • I went to a Indian restaurant last night. After I had ordered, a little old lady came to me and said, "Aren't you polite. You have such lovely manners." It was my complimentary nan

Love Is Like Jokes

Here is a list of funny love is like jokes and even better love is like puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My stalker just threatened to kill herself, if I didn't love her back. It's really nice when problems resolves themselves like that.
  • Love is like looking for a parking spot Everything good is taken and it's frowned upon to go into the handicapped ones.
  • Love is a lot like algebra... You look at your X and try to figure out Y.
  • What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love? Yeah you like that you dirty pore?
  • Always love a women for her personality They have like 10, so you can choose.
  • How does a cat like its steak cooked... Raaaaaaaare.
    I know I know. Dad joke but I'm desperate for some love since it's my birthday.
  • Love is a lot like algebra... ... You look at your X and wonder Y!
  • I'm like a cat when it comes to kids I don't really enjoy the product
    But I love playing with the box it came out of.
  • My dad always told me to treat women like flowers. So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me.
  • The Jetsons gave me unrealistic expectations for the future as a child Like having a wife who loves me and owning a dog
Love joke, The Jetsons gave me unrealistic expectations for the future as a child

Fun-Filled Love Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about love you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean respect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make love pranks.

"I love you lots snuggles" said my girlfriend

"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat c**...'s going deaf.

After my joke last week about the Holy Qur'an...

...I had tons of private messages from Muslims on this site. As an apology to them I would like to say this:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages s**... b**... and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?

My brother just updated his status to "I love my girlfriend <3".

I always knew he liked them young, but that is f**... ridiculous.

The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..

..so I failed her!

A wife texts her husband

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are
sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If
you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you
are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."

Why didn't the gay pirate have a parrot?

Because he preferred a c**...-er-two!
This is my first original pirate-themed joke. I have more on the way. Love it? Hate it? Let me know!

5 advices to men for a happy life

1. You should find a woman that helps you with the cleaning and the chores,
2. You should find a woman that is a good cook,
3. You should find a woman that you can trust and share your feelings with,
4. You should find a woman that enjoys making love to you,
5. Last and the most important thing is that these 4 women should never meet.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

fight club

I went to my first fight club meeting last night, i showed up late so i missed the first few rules but it was awesome i love fight club cant wait for the next meeting

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today..

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having s**... right there and then.
God, I love my new Taser...

I love the way the Earth rotates...

It makes my day.

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...

My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!
What makes you say that? the bartender inquired.
Last week, Bill explained, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she'd run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!'

For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate.

Girls love to do dishes.

I got an iPad from my chinese friend...

I love homemade gifts!

Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...

But not my Sister.

Made love to my girlfriend for an hour and 15 seconds last night

Thanks, Daylight Savings Time. I couldn't have done it without you.

My wife accuses me of favoritism over my children, which is not true.

I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.

John was unable to choose between two girls...

So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

I really love 50 Cent...

...Or as we call him here in Zimbabwe, '200 million dollars'.

Why does McGregor love springtime so much?

Cause you just can't beat Mayweather.

My Uncle always said "Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life!"

He did h**...

I was in a Uber today and the driver said,

"I love my job, I'm my own boss.
Nobody tells me what to do…"
Then I said "turn left"

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.

Whenever I see two lovers names carved into a tree, I don't think it's sweet.

I think it's shocking how many people bring a knife on a date.

Women are discussing their s**... life.

- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it's going to be when it's ready.

I just made love to my girlfriend

She asked, "If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?"
I took off my c**..., tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet.
"Well" I said, "If he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini".

Daughter: What does g**... mean?

Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way
Her: So what's 'penetrating g**...'?
Me: Er... read me the whole sentence
Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"
Me: Oh

My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her

That's what I get for dating a tennis player.

I told my wife, "You are so skinny."

Then I grabbed her by the love handles and said, "Just look at all this skin."

A jewel thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He t**... the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, You can take anything you want. You can even p**... whip me, but please untie the rope and free her.

Thief: You must really love your wife!
Man: No, but she will be home shortly .

Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the n**... woman they find in there.

A startled, n**..., man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."
The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."
The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"

Why are circumsized p**... so popular among Jewish girls?

They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol

My wife asked me, If I die, will you re-marry?

I replied, I don't know love, I don't think about those sorts of things.
Well If you did, would she live in our house? she asked
I said, I don't know, I haven't thought about it!
Then she asked Would you let her wear my clothes?
I replied Nah she's not your size

A Dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don't know if it translates well

A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:
What is this queue for?
Just for fun says the women.
But what if I don't want to stand in the queue? The Brit asks.
To which the woman replies that's what the other queue is for

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead: "I'm afraid he died last week," she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you," the wife replies, "he died last week." The day after he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Cos" He replies laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

I haven't had s**... since 1956

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956..." The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."

A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.

Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."
Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"
Poodle: "That's not gonna work"
Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"
Poodle: "...No"
Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"

Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.

The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."

This was an actual conversation that took place between my wife and my 7 yr old son just now.

My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.
Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.
Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.
Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?
I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis."

I replied, "That's 15 love."

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."
Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"
The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."

After 65 years of marriage, my grandpa still calls grandma "honey", "sweetie", "baby", and "sugar". I asked him for the secret to keep love alive so long.

He said "i forgot her name 10 years ago, and I'm afraid to ask."

I don't know why people hate China. I love it and can't say I have a whole lot wrong with it.

It just s**... they've been stuck on that island for so long.

There's s**... without love, and there's love without s**....

And there's us, without either.
Happy Valentine's Day.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer...

Plus it's super fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Love joke, I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer...

jokes about love