Love Handles Jokes
15 love handles jokes and hilarious love handles puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about love handles that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Love Handles Short Jokes
Short love handles jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The love handles humour may include short belly fat jokes also.
- I told my wife, "You are so skinny." Then I grabbed her by the love handle and said, "Just look at all this skin."
- My wife told me that cooking was getting very very difficult due to her 8 months pregnancy So I added telescope handles on all of the kitchen utensils. I love my wife.
- My girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.
- Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
Yeah... now he has no ears. - I don't understand why fat people get so much hate? They have love handle's not hate handle's
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Love Handles One Liners
Which love handles one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with love handles? I can suggest the ones about door handle and big belly.
- Why do girls always work at the deli Because they love handling meat
- Why did the gay chef love making dill crackers? Because he got to handle the dill dough.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Love Handles Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about love handles you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean big arms jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make love handles pranks.
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
from a movie...
so a man and and a woman are making love, when their young boy walks in. upon seeing his parents, he cries and runs to his room. the father says "i'll handle this". he walks to the boys room and finds little john on top of grandma, just giving her the business, going up and down, up and down. then the boys looks at his father and says, "its not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
There's a woman who gets dropped off at my building for work every day by the husband.
And every day the husband will come out and go to the passenger side to open the car door for her.
Seeing so much love from the husband I decided to ask her whether this has always been the way.
She replied no, it only started two years ago.
I asked "What made him change?"
The woman replied "Change? the inside door handle stopped working two years ago. He didn't want to change it."
One of the many situations women tend to handle the wrong way...
Ladies, if a man brings you breakfast whilst you are still in bed, he wants to hear: "Oooh, that is so cute, thank you! I love you!" and not "HOW THE FRAK DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE YOU FRAKKING CREEP?!?!?!".
Just FYI.
My son came out to me yesterday. I'm so disappointed.
I love my son, but this is tearing me up inside. I always thought I would be able to handle something like this, but this really is tough. It impacts so much of our relationship and family time. I mean, I had planned this big family dinner Sunday evening. (I smoked an awesome roast pork, I was so excited.) But I had to cancel it because of his choice. And it IS a choice. I don't know what to do at this point. Seriously, how have any of you handled your child going vegan?
Love Handles
One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out.
"Greetings, Miss Lewinsky," the genie said. "Since you have released me, I will grant you one wish."
"Well," Monica replied, "I'm going to be on television alot for a while, and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love handles."
"Your wish is my command," said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of smoke...
And her ears promptly fell off.