Love Bite Jokes
21 love bite jokes and hilarious love bite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about love bite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Love Bite Short Jokes
Short love bite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The love bite humour may include short love interest jokes also.
- Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life Because vampires are neck romancers
- What's the difference between someone who raises the dead and a vampire who loves what they bite? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer
- All of these people here talking about how they love with their whole heart... I'm just happy I didn't bite anyone today.
- I bought a lifelike blow up s**... doll, it was so realistic it was like the real thing, I got carried away and gave it a love bite. It f**... and went down on me.
- My wife was complaining about the love bite on her neck She said "look at that". I said "I know, I s**...".
- You should move to Arkansas. It's absolutely lovely But what about all the mosquitoes?
They all died from ODs thanks to biting the m**... heads
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Love Bite One Liners
Which love bite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with love bite? I can suggest the ones about love making and sweet love.
- I fell in love with a mosquito.. The love bites were swell.
- What's the definition of like, love, and hate? Spit, s**..., and bite.
Love Bite Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about love bite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean love chat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make love bite pranks.
A wife texts her husband
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are
sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If
you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you
are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."
A wife sent her husband a romantic text message…
She wrote: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. Her husband texted back: I'm on the toilet, please advise.
A wife sent a romantic text to her husband one day. It read, If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, sent me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband replied, I am on the toilet. Please advise.
Two drunk men visit a brothel
The madame takes a look at them and tells her manager: Go and put inflatable dolls in their bedrooms.These guys are too drunk to notice.
After finishing their act ,on their way back ...
1st drunk: I think my girl was dead as she never made a noise or made a move. Upon this the 2nd drunk says: Mine was worse....... I think she was a witch!!!
1st drunk: Why would u say that???
2nd drunk: Well i gave a little love bite on her b**........She f**... in my face and flew out of the window.
The husband gets a love bite on his neck from his secretary
He goes home quite worried, but suddenly gets a brainwave! Upon reaching his house, he allows his pet dog to jump on him and shouts:
"Honey, our dog bit my neck!"
The wife removes her bra and says:
"See what he did to me!"
My GF sent me a text a few minutes ago:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams
If you are laughing, send me your smile
If you are eating, send me a bite
If you are drinking, send me a sip
If you are crying, send me your tears
I love you!"
I texted back:
"I'm taking a dump.... What should I do?"
Obama walks into a bar, but he's invisible.
The bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?"
Barack says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes."
For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted.
For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too.
And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."
"I can bite my eye..."
A young man is sitting with his elderly grandfather:
Young man: Grandpa, tell me more about you. We seldom have time to talk.
Grandfather: Well... I can bite my eye...
Young man: Wha? How?
Grandfather proceeds to remove a glass eye and stick it in his mouth to bite it.
Young man: Nice Grandpa. But really I... (Grandfather interrupts)
Grandfather: I can bite my other eye too.
Young man: But how? I know you aren't blind...
Grandfather pulls out his teeth...
Context: My grandfather recently passed away and this was a joke he would tell. He lost one of his eyes as a young adult and loved to pull his eye out for people. This joke was shared at his wake.
An elderly couple had just learned how to text.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
Please Advise?
An older couple had just learned how to send text messages on their new cell phones. The wife was the romantic type and the husband more of the no-nonsense type.
One afternoon the wife went out with some friends for coffee. Being the romantic women she was, she decided to send her husband a text to let him know she was thinking of him.
It read:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
A couple minutes later the husband text back, "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
Middle age texting
The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.
The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.
She texted:
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.
The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:
I'm on the toilet. Please advise.