The Best 89 Louis Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Louis jokes. There are some louis moe jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these louis jacques puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Louis Jokes and Puns
Louis Vuitton bag
Why is it that a French woman never managed to sell a $80 Louis Vuitton bag in the US?
She kept saying it's $420.
What did Louis Pasteur say when he was asked where the brain is?
Past your eyes.
Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs.
Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.
i don't get this joke
Louis CK said it was one of his terrible early standup jokes
"I asked my mom what sex was and she said 'it's what happens when Mrs. Brady turns off the lights. So I always thought sex was a commercial for paper towels"
The Final Exam
The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking their history final then, they decided to find their professor after it was over and explain to her why they had missed it.
They had gone to St. Louis for the weekend, they told her, and had planned to come back in time for the test, but on the way back, they'd taken a short cut down a dirt road and had had a flat tire. They didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and as a result they missed the final.
The Professor thought about it awhile and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated. They studied together that evening and, the next morning, arrived for the test. The professor placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem. It asked:
"(For 5 points) On what date was the Declaration of Independence ratified?"
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each in his separate room. "This test is going to be a breeze."
Each wrote July 4, 1776 and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
"(For 95 points): Which tire?"
Football joke
How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?
Paint an endzone on it.
A Michael Sam joke
After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it's the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien
What did the pirate Louis Riel say to the villagers?
Yarrrrrrr Metis!
Louis Pasteur is the greatest man to ever live...
The thing he did was so incredible that it was named after him - pasteurization.
The only other person I can think of to do that is somewhat less well known, and much less respected -
Bill Cannibal.
I'm going to St. Louis to do my Black Friday shopping.
I hear the deals are a riot.
I'm not saying my wife's a snob
but even her colostomy bag is a Louis Vuitton.
You can explore louis frederic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean louis crossover dad jokes. There are also louis puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Funny comeback from a student
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
In St. Louis right now, thought this was appropriate: How many black people does it take to start a riot?
-1
Corporations big and small rejoice as taxes are lowered in St. Louis for businesses.
Once again proving that famous saying; Missouri loves companies.
Girl are you a Louis Vuitton store?
Because I've never been inside you and probably never will unless I'm rich one day.
I just learned that there's a piece of the Twin Towers in St. Louis.
Maybe if somebody didn't take that piece out, they wouldn't have collapsed.
What do you call a well dressed police officer who is beating you up?
Louis Baton
I'm currently on a 2 hour layover in St. Louis airport.
I'm cold and Missourable.
If a seagull flys over the sea, then what flys over the bay?
A bagel!
(Came up with this Louis CK style slapstick literature at 5 years old, give me bronze)
What did King Louis XVI ask of his barber?
"A little off the top please"
Why are people in St. Louis always sad?
They live in a constant state of Missouri.
Guns N' Roses will play their first show in St. Louis since 1991.
Sounds like a riot!
Instead of the St. Louis Rally-Cat, throw in a rooster.
Everyone will love the Rally-Cock.
Who do you call when the church has bacteria?
Pasteur Louis
Hope it's not too soon... :l
I just saw Louis CK riding the L train downtown with no pants on and he invited me to get some lunch meat with him from Rubway.
There's no point in charging Louis CK now
He's already gotten off
What does C.K. in Louis C.K's name refer to?
My friend just e-mailed me a copy of Louis C.K.'s new special
First: unzip
What's the quickest way to stop someone from having a stroke?
"Stop Louis, or I'll call the cops"
What is Louis CK's favorite tale?
Rubbin Wood
Louis Copies Kobe
He should C Kelp.
Just saw louis ck leave his building in a T shirt
So I shouted, Louis, Jacket!
Breaking News: Louis C.K. makes first published statement regarding the recent alligations of sexual misconduct.
"I'm Gay."
If it does turn out that Louis C.K. has a masturbation addiction, he'll be excited to know that we're all watching watch him beat it.
Everyone's talking about how inappropriate Louis CK's behavior has been...
...personally, I think he handled himself quite well.
What's the difference between Louis CK and the early bird?
One beats chicks to the worm, the other beats the worm to chicks.
What is Louis C.K.s favourite car for 2017?
A Ford Exhibitionist, great car I hear, real flashy.
What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink?
Jack and Squirt.
Louis C.K. is the hardest working comedian in the business
He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
Louis CK helped me change a flat tire.
All I had to do was watch him jack it.
What was the hardest thing for Louis CK when he had to leave his disrespectful kids home alone?
Getting someone to watch his little jerks.
This scandal is a bigger deal for Kevin Spacey than it is for Louis CK
as Kevin finally came-out whereas Louis only just came.
Louis CK must be great at fishing......
After all, he seems to be a huge fan of master baiting.
If Louis CK cant go back to comedy he could always pick up fishing.
Rumor has it he's a master baiter.
Louis CK came into my dressing room and I told him to beat it! Not what I expected...
He left.
Why did Louis CK hire a babysitter?
He needed someone to watch his little squirts.
Louis CK's movies are the opposite of his actions
They're getting pulled *away* from the public.
I've been working on my Louis CK impression, sit right there and let me show it to you.
Louis CK is the first person to get ruined for sexually assaulting..
himself.
What's the difference between Louis CK and a pot of water on the stove?
The pot won't get hot if you watch it.
Why does Louis C.K. not like How I Met Your Mother?
Judge: Louis, you shouldn't have shown your..
What did Louis CK call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Well with all the celebrities in the news these days at least Louis C K...
Was up and coming.
What does the C.K. in Louis C.K. stand for?
All exposure is good exposure.
-Louis C K
What does Louis CK do when he gets a splinter?
Pulls it out.
Louis C.K. is a great guy
He doesn't force women to lend a hand.
Did you hear Louis CK's new movie is cancelled?
You still might find him coming soon in a theater near you.
What are Louis CK's after parties called?
Meet and beats
Louisiana purchase, call that...
French Montana
Louis CK might not physically have had sex with any women
But he came close.
I can't believe what Louis C.K. did...
I just hope he doesn't rub off on my kids.
How does Louis CK respond to a sexual proposal?
He says,"Ive gotta hand it too you."
Why doesn't Louis C.K. grill by himself?
Because he likes it when people watch him pull his pork.
A 14 year old agoraphobic kid had to audition..
For Louis C.K in a tiny room. He found it pretty uncomfortable but at least it wasn't Spacey.
It sucks that Louis CK got in trouble among these Hollywood personalities being accused.
If anything, he just exasterbated the situation.
Make like Louis C.K.
And beat it..
New Year and my hard of hearing aunt hired a new chef for her new chain of baker's.
But Louis CK is not the master baker she thinks he is.
How do you experience 80 degree weather and snow in a 24 hour period?
Move to St. Louis.
I love seeing St Louis with local friends
Never call shotgun though.
What do you get when you mix a hypocrite, Catholic, and comedian into a blender?
Louis CK
When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...
I see trees of green, and red roses too.
Why did Louis XVI flee the revolution?
He felt a bit guillotine
Yesterday, I went to a Louis Vuitton showroom with my wife
I was shocked to find that my salary was printed on a shoe
Louis CK returned to the stage last night with a 15 minute set at the Comedy Store in New York.
He needed the exposure.
What's Louis C.K.'s favorite type of meat other than his own?
Jerkey
I'm starting a one man band...
Ill play all the instruments at once. Going to go by the name Louis CK. That way I can play with myself and make people listen.
Louise Braille walked into a bar...
Then a table, and then a chair.
I heard that Louis CK is trying to make a comeback.
You think he'll pull it off?
What's the difference between Louis CK and Diarrhea?
Diarrhea sprays outward from the body. CK sprays inward.
I heard that right before Louis C.K. went on stage his manager asked him how he was feeling.
Louis replied, "I'm doing alt-right."
You know that guy who wears glasses, works at The Daily Planet and who Louis Lane is having an affair with?
He's so dead when Superman finds out.
I believe that the ultra rich deserve to be treated like royalty
Louis XVI, specifically
"I just discovered Louis XIV had a nickname."
"Sun King?"
"Not yet, I'm still in shock."
I think Louis CK has been misunderstood.
He was testing out new material. He just wanted to see whether women would laugh at his junk!
I was dating a girl claiming to be related to King Louis the XVI and got mad
after I declared "so no head?"
Immediately she begins storming off
Why did Louis XIV seize possession of an Italian triumph?
To absolutely claim it as, "Mon arch"
What do you call a very expensive switch ?
a Louis Button...
I'm so sorry
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the louis raymond jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working louis luis piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.