The Best 43 Louder Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Louder jokes. There are some louder thicker jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these louder commotion puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Louder Jokes and Puns
Anyone there?
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.
"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled:
"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?"
Then she heard a voice from far, far away:
"Hello! We're down here..."
Wife finds her husband watching tv
Man yells, 'No don't do it!'
Man yells louder, 'Don't do it, you idiot!'
Wife asks, 'What are you watching?'
Man says 'Our wedding tape.'
An anthropologist travels to the deepest darkest rainforest...
to study a tribe untouched by civilisation.
As he is trecking towards the villiage he starts to hear drumming. The closer he gets, the louder it gets. It's relentless and doesn't seem to stop.
A day later he arrives at the villiage and gets introduced to the eldar. He immediately asks "What are the drums for?"
The eldar simply responds "The drums must never stop."
Throughout the night and the next day the incessent drumming starts to grate on his nerves. He asks around and every member of the tribe answers with "The drums must never stop."
3 days later he has had no sleep and is at a loose end. He approaches the eldar.
"I really have to know about the drums."
"The drums must never stop."
"Yes, yes. I know that. But why?"
The eldar looks at him and says "Bass solo."
A human fart can be louder than a trombone.
I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.
Graveyard shortcut
A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard.
He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.
Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"
The old man merely continues chiseling and says "They spelled my name wrong."
A policeman knocked on my door this morning...
A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence.
After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it.
The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away.
Then he decided to look through the window.
He shouted, "Do you think I'm stupid? I can see you in there, sir. Open the door."
I said, "You're not coming in mate!"
He said, "I don't want to come in, I just want you to step out of the car."
A man was walking down the street when he heard a distant voice say, "Climb the ladder to success."
The man then noticed a ladder leaning up against the building to his right. Again, he heard the voice: "Climb the ladder to success." The man shrugged and began to climb. The voice kept repeating itself and grew louder as the man approached the top. "Climb the ladder to success." Finally, the man reached the top of the building, where he found a fully naked man. "Hi, I'm Sess."
If the pen is mightier than the sword...
... Then why do actions speak louder than words?
Punny wednesday
The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone.
"Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."
I knocked on my neighbour's door.
I said, "I've come to complain about the noise."
"That's really embarrassing," she replied, "Did you hear my girlfriend and I having sex?"
"I didn't," I replied, "From now on could you please be a little louder?"
Girl are you a ringtone?
Because you're really annoying and just get louder when I ignore you.
You can explore louder noisy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean louder quieter dad jokes. There are also louder puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What gets louder if you enter it from one end, but quieter if you enter it from the other?
A howler monkey.
Why did the librarian hush the mime?
Because actions speak louder than words.
So, a stutterer was a wedding
He stand's up and says:
-hip, hip
And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:
-HURRAY
The stutterer, tried again, but louder
-HIP!! HIP!!
Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!
-HUURRAAAAY!!!!!
The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!
-HIIPPPP !! HIPPP!!!
Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!
-HURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor
So my Orchestra conductor keeps telling the Violas to play louder...
I guess it just isn't their Forte. ;)
Two blondes and a brunette
One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, Help!!!
Then the other one, Help!!!
The brunette suggests, Come on girls, let's scream together, it will be louder.
OK, agree the blondes, Together!!! Together!!!
My girlfriend said I should be louder in the bedroom.
But apparently she didn't give me permission to snore.
Why did Bob get straight to business with the deaf chick?
Because actions speak louder than words.
My grandfather told me this In German so it might already be posted somewhere here, oh and it's translated
Two guys are riding bicycles down the street.
One of the bikes fenders was loose and was making a loud noise.
So the first guy said to the second guy
"Hey your fender is too loud"
The second guy says "what?"
The first guy speaks louder
"your fender is too loud"
The second guy replies "what?"
The first guy yells
"YOUR FENDER IS TOO LOUD"
The second guy yells back
"I CANT HEAR YOU MY FENDER IS TOO LOUD!"
I got a new alarm clock...
It was much louder than I expected. I found it very alarming.
One day a man asks his caterpillar if he wants to go on a walk.
The caterpillar doesn't answer. So he asks again, "Hey caterpillar do you want to go on a walk?" Still no answer from the caterpillar. So the man asks a little louder, "HEY caterpillar! Do you want to go on a walk?" The caterpillar still says nothing. So the man yells "HEY CATERPILLAR, DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A WALK‽"
The caterpillar looked up at the man and replied "I heard you the first time. I was putting on my shoes."
What sounds like a pin hitting the floor, but louder?
A PIN HITTING THE FLOOR.
Why women make louder peeing sound than men?
Because men got a six inch suppressor.
Actions speak louder than words...
When you're miming.
Once I got kicked out of a library for being a mime.
Because actions speak louder than words
What sounds like a mouse, but much, much louder?
#**A MOUSE**
A Mans walking in a cemetery and he hears this noise...
It sounded like someone was using a eraser. He walks towards a grave and it gets louder. So he digs up the casket and sees Mozart Erasing all of his music,and the man says "Mozart what are you doing!" Then Mozart says "I'm decomposing"
Torturing French people is so rewarding
The more pain you inflict, the louder they thank you
My roommate recently started having much louder sex with his girlfriend. "What changed?" I asked.
"We've updated our privacy policy."
A pony walks into a bar
Says to the bartender Let me get one Apple martini
bartender leans in closer and says what?
Pony says one. Apple martini, please .
Bartender asks, something about a Bikini?
Pony starts to get a little frustrated but manages to say a little louder now ONE APPLE MARTINI
Bartender said oh! It's hard to hear you, you're a little horse
A man is walking down the street, when he starts to hear a chanting sound coming from behind a fence... 13..13..13..13..13..
As he gets closer he see's a small hole in the fence, the chanting's getting louder and faster... **13..13..13..** As he gets closer the chanting comes to a fearsome cresecendo, as he looks directly into the hole...
And a finger jabs him DIRECTLY in the eye, as the chanting resumes louder than ever... **14..14..14..14..**
The grim reaper approaches Paddy and says "I'm death"
Paddy says "I'll talk louder then"
What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?
You're just jealous, because I can make your wife scream louder than you can.
What did the cockroach say to the man that was about to kill him?
Your just jealous that I can make your wife scream louder than you can!
A kettle is like sex.
It gets louder the hotter it is.
A little boy is crying on a bench in the park.
A passer-by stops and asks him why he is crying.
The boy says: My mom gave me a dollar to get something from the shop but I lost it, and I'm afraid to go home now!
The passer-by decides to make the kid's day and gives him a dollar - but the kid only starts crying louder...
Why are you crying now? , he asks.
The kid says: I wish I'd said five dollars now!
A man was going to kill a cockroach
Man: Any last words?
Cockroach: You're just jealous of me.
Man: Why would I be jealous of you?!
Cockroach: Because I can make your wife scream louder than you can!
Senator: You said Facebook has cookies correct?
Zucc: Yes Senator that is correct, Facebook does use cookies.
Senator: Where can I get some of those cookies and how are they made?
Zucc: I'm sorry senator I don't know wha...
Senator: *repeats question but LOUDER*
Zucc: Senator I...
What is louder than the sound of silence?
The Sound of Silence (Remastered)
A cop pulled a car over, with a driver that matched a description of a thief. Turns out the guy was not too smart.
The cop had a basic description of the thief, but seeing the matching tattoo, would seal this guys fate. The tattoo would be located on the guys forearm.
The cop says, "show me your forearms"
The driver looks confused
The cop gets louder, "show me your forearms!!"
The driver looks confused, and says, "I only have two"
Me: I'm afraid of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: \*screams\*
Therapist: Oh I see.
Me: \*screams louder\*
Therapist: OK! OK!
Me: \*continues to scream\*
A blonde arrives at work crying out loud
The boss asks worried what happened to her, to which she answers:
"I got a call this morning and found out my mother was dead."
The boss comforts her:
"Why don't you go home today to rest? We don't have too much work to do anyway."
The blonde refuses, saying that she better work to forget about the trouble.
Five minutes later the boss finds the blonde crying even louder.
"What else happened?" he asks her.
To which she responds:
"My sister just called and told me her mother died too."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the louder raucous jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working louder noise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.