lotte Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious lotte puns

The lottery

Husband: "Honey, what would you do if I won the lottery?"

Wife: "I would take half the money and get my ass out of here!"

Husband: "Very good. I won $12, here is $6, now go pack your bags."

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Lottery

A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"
The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?"
She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"

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Lottery

A man comes home and asks his wife "Honey, what would you do if I won the lottery?"

She thinks a second and says, "Well, I'd take half of it, then I'd leave you."

"Great," he says. "I just won twelve bucks, here's six. Now get the fuck out."

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The Lottery

There once was an old man who used to buy the lottery every single day for his whole life, and never won. One day, he had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital; before he could see the winning lotto numbers on TV. His wife saw the numbers, and realized that he had just won the MegaMillions.

At the hospital, the mans wife didn't want to tell her husband that he had just won the lotto, because she was worried that his weak heart couldn't handle all the excitement and that he might die. Instead, she asked their local priest to go tell her husband the news as subtlety as possible, without causing him to have another heart attack.

So the priest goes and sits down next to the man and asks him, "You've been buying the lottery for decades, and you've never won. What if, one day, you did win. Millions of dollars. What would you possibly do with all that money?".

The man replies, "I would have donated it all to the Church". The priest then had a heart attack, and died.

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Why do lottery winners always go bankrupt?

Because if they knew anything about managing money, they wouldn't be playing the lotto in the first place!

- Anthony Jeselneck

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The Lottery

Is a voluntary tax for the mathematically challenged.

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Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried

A man comes home to his wife and says "Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!" She says "What should I pack?" He says "I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"

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What are lottery tickets made from?

Scratch

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A lottery winner realizes years later that her life is ruined from having too much money

In a desperate attempt to get her old life back, she's suing the lottery company for millions in damages.

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Why did the lottery winner begrudgingly give his prize car to his parents?

Because they told him it was his-folks'-wagon.

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Lottery.

How do you call a forced lottery, Insurance

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Why did Christine Daae take Raoul to Starbucks?

He said he wanted a Little Lotte.

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What are the most funny Lotte jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Lotte? Well, here are the best Lotte dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Lotte pick up lines to share with friends.

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Joko Jokes