Lotion Jokes
47 lotion jokes and hilarious lotion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lotion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Curious about how to make your day a little brighter? Check out these suntan lotion jokes! From lotion-related puns to jokes about rinsing and peeling, you'll find plenty of ways to amuse your friends—without resorting to those tired deodorant jokes.
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Funniest Lotion Short Jokes
Short lotion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lotion humour may include short shampoo jokes also.
- My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.
- My dad rubs Elmers Glue on his hands like lotion before he goes hunting. I know, it's weird, and I've tried talking him out of it... But he's sticking to his guns on this one. stubborn man.
- A friend went to the CVS in Baltimore after the looting to pick up some items, the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards.
- I couldn't figure out which lotion to use for my skin condition. I tried asking my doctor... He just said "I don't wanna make any rash decisions ."
- Some moisturising lotion takes as long as 60 seconds to be absorbed into your skin Just let that sink in for a minute
- I Just spent a load of money and, made my valentine the happiest ever! I'm glad I can post this here. Where's my lotion.
- Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser? It was poetry in lotion
- My Uncle works at a crematorium.For his birthday, I bought him a bottle of lotion... Because he must be ashy...
- Wife and husband talking. Wife: "You're addicted to skin lotion!"
Husband: "Go ahead. Rub it in my face." - I hate when my massage therapist smears the lotion counter-clockwise. She really rubs me the wrong way.
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Lotion One Liners
Which lotion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lotion? I can suggest the ones about baby oil and body wash.
- What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin? Evo-lotion.
- Why do Republicans hate lotion? Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
- My friend loves to talk about their new skin lotion. He just keeps rubbing it in.
- What do you call someone who steals lotion? A smooth criminal.
- What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash? Jergen's lotion.
- What kind of lotion do bullfighters use? Olay!
- What do you call a lotion that makes your eyes wet Moist-your-eyes
- What kind of skin lotion do acrobats use? Cirque d'Olay
- Did you know there's software that produces lotion? It's called appointment.
- What kind of sun tan lotion does Macklemore put on? ...SPF Thrifty.
- I got my girlfriend the perfect Valentine's Day present today. Hand lotion.
- What product do Jewish boys use most of their money on? Lotion
- What's a soccer fan's favorite lotion brand? Olay, olay, olay, olay
- What's the worst thing you can do to a teenager? *Take away his lotion.*
- What do you call it when two bottles of lotion start dating? A re-lotion-ship.
Howlingly Hilarious Lotion Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about lotion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean balm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lotion pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hollywood is remaking Brokeback Mountain with Margot Robbie and Emma Watson
On the one hand, I hate that they have to remake all the classic movies with female leads as if that somehow makes them better. On the other hand, lotion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a lotion that s**... at its job?
A DissapOINTMENT. Plz laugh
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can you tell if someone is having a s**...?
There is lotion and used tissues laying around
The beauty industry:
For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen
For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the man who won a lifetime supply of m**... Lotion.
He hit the jackpot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was tanning on the beach with my son.
After a while, he looked at me and said, "You're look like a lobster."
"Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?" I asked.
He said, "No, you're just really ugly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My smart-a**... friend just told me how to spell lotion backwards
He's such a noitol.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear Buffalo Bill reformed and is now a pick up artist and skin care specialist?
He puts the lotion in the basket and then he gets the h**... again
I was surprised that my skin products kept moving around my medicine cabinet
But it turns out it was just brownian lotion.
