Lost Virginity Jokes

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: o**... Bin Laiden.

Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.

"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD d**... open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

Wanna hear a joke?

Never mind. I was going to make a black joke but I'll s**... it for later?
Wanna hear a virginity joke? Never mind, I lost it.

A guy and his wife are going at it...

Lost in the moment, she says "None of my other lovers have been able to satisfy me like you do."
The husband thinks for a second. "Didn't you say you were a v**... before we were married?"
The wife says "I was."

I lost my virginity to a g**... her period.

The foreplay gave me cotton mouth.

First timer

Son comes back home at night
Dad is waiting for him and asks:
- where have u been so late!!??
- dad I just lost my virginity!
- ohh...I'm so proud of you... have a cigar, whiskey, sit down and tell me everything
- ok I'll take a cigar and whiskey but I won't sit down.

The son tells his dad he just lost his virginity

Dad: That's my boy, come sit here and tell me how it was!
Son: I can't sit down, dad...

My friend lost his virginity to a disabled girl

He said he wanted his first time to be special.

what did the Eskimo girl say after she lost her virginity....

iditarod

A son tells his father he lost his virginity...

... the father high-fives his kid and says, "that's great pal, let's sit down and have a beer."
the boy replies to his father, "I'll have a beer but I can't sit down"

How do you tell if I guy lost his virginity?

Don't worry. He'll tell you.

I lost my virginity in a tent

It was an intense experience.

I lost my virginity yesterday.

My dad incests he did nothing

my friend said "so you finally lost your virginity good for you girl"

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

What do you call a Korean girl, who lost her virginity at a young age?

Sum-Young h**...

While recently wandering through the city, I passed the dorm I lost my virginity in ten years ago.

It's safe to say that I've come a long way.

So... the girl I lost my virginity to was r**....

I wanted my first time to be special.

"Why is it that some things are so easy to lose while others aren't?"

rued the 30 year old v**... who lost his wallet.

I just lost my virginity!!!!

April fools *s**...*

I finally lost my virginity

Congrats, bro, sit down and tell me about it.
Can't sit yet.

What did the programmer say when they lost their virginity?

"hello world!\n"

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.
A pretty impressive feat, especially for someone who was homeschooled.

Two of my favourite moments in my life were when I won my first fight and lost my virginity

I hit him so hard he slept through the whole thing

I lost my virginity last week

But it's fine. Turns out it was just between the couch cushions.

I told my parents that I lost my virginity.

Which they didn't take well, considering they're Catholics.
They sat me down and said, "You must beg to God for forgiveness."
So I got down on my knees and said, "God, I've done enough kneeling today, please forgive me!"

What did the r**... say when he lost his virginity?

Thanks mum xD

I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity.

I'm starting to regret naming my dog that.

Harry Potter lost his virginity on a magical evening.

Or, as they say in Hogwarts, a Wednesday.

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"

The woman starts crying.
"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"

I lost my virginity like I lost the 100 meter dash.

Slowly.

How do you call a man who has lost his virginity?

A newcumer.

My wife likes to say she lost her virginity but...

She still has the box it came in.

A man is sitting on the couch one evening when his son walks in and tells his father he lost his virginity

The father jumps up from joy and claps his hands and says: Congratulations son! Here, have a beer and take a seat.
The son says: The beer I can take, but I can not sit for a while

Did you hear about the guy who lost 50 pounds in one night?

He also lost his virginity.

2 friends were talking...

Girl: God d**..., I've lost my keys again!
Boy:Next time, why don't you try putting them near something you can't lose.
Girl: So should I put them next to your virginity?

Dad: Do you know what your brother said when he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.

I still haven't lost my virginity.

Because I don't lose.

My first football game was like the time I lost my virginity.

I mean I kinda cried a little... but at least my dad came.

I lost my virginity to a r**... girl.

you can say my first time was special.

[nsfw] Dad to his shy son -"Do you know what your brother said after he lost his virginity?"

Dad to his shy son -"Do you know what your brother said after he lost his virginity?"
Son- Oh dad ,please dont.
Dad- Exactly.

(Long) Crashing Plane

The pilot comes on the intercom and announces "ladies and gentlemen we just lost our engines, we are going down, prepare to c**...."
A woman jumps up screaming "I AM NOT READY TO DIE, I"M STILL A v**..., SOMEONE MAKE A WOMAN OUT OF ME!
A good looking guy gets up, walks to her, and takes off his shirt showing his muscular chest and six pack abs,
He throws it at her and says; " Here, iron this".

Did you hear about the German girl who lost her virginity in a barn to a horse?

She gesundheit & comesoutloose
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I lost my virginity

Yeah I laughed too...

Just lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams

It was a very good dream.

I lost my virginity.

I put somewhere around here...

I remember asking the girl i lost my virginity to,if i was her first one

She said no,she had been with another one,a seven and an eight before..

If you lose your virginity...

You're a loser because you lost.

i found out how to get your virginity back after you lost it

play fortnite

Dating in your late 30s is weird. I recently dated a girl who was born the year I lost my virginity

That's the last time I date someone two years younger than me

I FINALLY LOST MY VIRGINITY

Sike! I never lose.

I lost my virginity before 18.

I get turned on in front of a big crowd.

I'm a winner

That's why I haven't lost my virginity.

My girlfriend's birthday is the same day as my grandpa's. So now i don't know to which party I should go.

On the one hand, it is the person to whom I lost my virginity. But, on the other, I believe I should also go to my girlfriend's birthday.

My girlfriend's birthday is the same day as my grandfather's

I am between spend the day with the person with whom I lost my virginity or with my girlfriend, I dont know what to do

Why do I and the girl I lost my virginity to never argue?

Because the 1st root has the smallest possible argument

Unfortunately, the woman I lost my virginity to died today

On a happier note, I lost my virginity today

I lost my virginity in a Nunnary

It was a tough habit to break.

I lost my job as a grave digger

At least I'm not a v**... anymore