Lost Keys Jokes
21 lost keys jokes and hilarious lost keys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lost keys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lost Keys Short Jokes
Short lost keys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lost keys humour may include short car keys jokes also.
- What do you get when you cross a beginner accordion player with a GPS? A lost musician who can’t find the right key.
- they'll never listen to us Wife: I lost my keys again
Me: Its in your jeans
Wife: Don't drag my family into this - This actually happened My brother has a lockbox and lost the key, so he said to me "Zaent, can you pick a lock?", I replied "Give me two and I'll pick one."
- What did the melon say to his wife when he lost his keys? Honeydew you know where my keys are?
- Son: Dad is something lost when you know where it is? Dad: No, son
Son:Good, your car keys are at the bottom of the well - In class, Jose is asked to use the word "Cherokee" in a sentence. He pauses and says, "I lost my house key and now I have to Cherokee with my sister."
- Someone keeps taking my task manager combination keys off my keyboards. I've lost all control, and I have not alternative but to delete this horrible joke.
- A Bostonian and a Californian walk into a bar. "I lost my car keys!", the Bostonian realized, exasperated.
The Californian replied, "What are you talking about? You're wearing them!"
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Lost Keys One Liners
Which lost keys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lost keys? I can suggest the ones about lost wallet and lost and found.
- I smashed up my keyboard and couldnt find the last key I lost Ctrl
- Why did the musician break into song? Because he lost the key.
Lost Keys Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about lost keys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lost phone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lost keys pranks.
So this drunk guy stumbles up to a cop...
And says, excuse me officer I lost my car and the officer says, well where did you see it last?
Guy: it was right here on the end of my key
Officer: Alright well head down to the station and they'll set you up with the proper paperwork, but before you go, you might want to zip up your fly
The man looks down and says, Awww man they got my girl too!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I thought someone stole my car keys, I looked for hours and was convince someone had grabbed them, later on I felt so s**... because I left them on top of my car
Turns out I lost them on my own accord
The same woman lost her car keys.
Her husband comes out and says, "What's wrong?"
She says, "I lost my keys!"
He takes off his trousers, rolls them into a ball and starts rubbing the ignition switch. Magically the vehicle starts up.
"WOW! How did you do that?"
"Honey, these are my cargo pants."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doctors say having s**... with a Woman burns 150 Calories...
When I had s**... with a Woman, I too lost 150 calories- along with my keys, phone, wallet, and my wife...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 friends were talking...
Girl: God d**..., I've lost my keys again!
Boy:Next time, why don't you try putting them near something you can't lose.
Girl: So should I put them next to your virginity?
A banjo asked a fiddle to marry him. "Don't frett," he said. "Just duet and we'll live in harmony until the end of time."
Ten months later, the fiddle started to tip the scales. Her belly was noticeably bowed and before you could say concerto, out popped a minor.
Daddy banjo went to the Hyundai dealer and traded in his old Accent for a brand new Sonata. After just a month, mama fiddle lost her key at the bar and had a break down when she couldn't find it. Apparently it really struck a chord with daddy banjo because for the first time ever, he took a harsh tone with mama fiddle. He drove her home, lost his tempo, strung her up by the neck, and beat her.
Domestic violins.
A policeman happens upon a drunk Irishman...
who is scrabbling on the floor beside a street light, obviously looking for something.
"Have you lost something sir?" asked the Policeman.
"Yesssh losht ma keys, can't find them anywhere..." he slurred.
"Whereabouts did you lose them sir?" the policeman said whilst bending down to help.
The drunk points over his shoulder to a dark lane behind him "shomewhere round that road there" he said.
"Then why are you looking over here?" The policeman asked, baffled.
"Can't see a thing over there, there'sh no light"
Jesus and Satan are having an argument about who is the better computer programmer.
This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.
Very well, says God, let us see if Jesus has fared any better.
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?
God chuckles, Everybody knows… Jesus saves.
Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer.
"I am!" Jesus shouted.
"No, I am!" the devil countered.
"I am!"
"I am!"
"Me!"
"No, me!"
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness.
When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them.
God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously.
This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark.
When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank.
The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost.
He came up empty-handed.
Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."