Lost Jokes

Funniest Lost Short Jokes

Short lost jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lost humour may include short losing jokes also.

1. My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100. I lost Interest in that relationship.
2. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
3. As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
   
4. You know when you get the urge to eat something just because it's there? Anyways, I lost my job as a gynecologist today.
5. A girl once told me, If you lost about 50 pounds you'd be cute I told her, if I lost 50 pounds I'd be talking to your friends!
6. I went to the doctors yesterday and unfortunately he told me i lost 20% of my sight Sigh...
7. I saw a crying kid and asked him where his parents were. And that's how I lost my job at the orphanage.
8. To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?
9. I've lost a lot of weight just by wearing bread on my head. It's a new loaf hat diet I'm trying.
10. I was shopping with my wife and I couldn't find her, until I saw a beautiful women. I ask her: I have lost my wife, can I talk to you?
    She replies: Why?
    I say: You will see in 20 seconds.

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Lost One Liners

Which lost one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lost? I can suggest the ones about loss and forgot.

1. V Sorry lost control there
2. I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
3. Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months? He lost May
4. A lost dog strays into the jungle..
5. I lost two things today. My virginity... ...and my job at the morgue.
6. My daughter just lost her first tooth! That'll teach her to talk back.
7. So I lost my mood ring yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about that.
8. What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common? They both lost their vision
9. My friend lost his car. I call him Carlos now.
10. I received a flier on anger management the other day I lost it
11. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's lost at sea? Bob.
12. If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy" You get "This page cannot be found".
13. I lost 40 pounds in a day; but I also lost my babysitting job.
14. Do you know why bill clinton played the saxophone? Because he lost his whoremonica
15. I've lost 7lbs this week. Or as my girlfriend calls it, "the baby".

Getting Lost Jokes

Here is a list of funny getting lost jokes and even better getting lost puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19. If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
• I lost 189 lbs in one week. By getting a divorce.
• gambling has really helped me get back on my feet Because I lost my car in poker last night.
• Why did C-3P0 get lost? He went on an R2-Dtour.
• Why does Heisenberg hate driving? He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.
• What do you get when you cross a beginner accordion player with a GPS? A lost musician who can’t find the right key.
• Why did the snowman bring a map to the winter solstice party? He didn't want to get lost in the chill of the night!
• Why can't pirates sing the alphabet? Because they get lost at sea!
  (My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)
• I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon. I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.
• Why did ChatGPT get lost in the forest? Because it couldn't find the right algorithm!

Lost And Found Jokes

Here is a list of funny lost and found jokes and even better lost and found puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When my first wife lost her credit card, I didn't report it. Because whoever found it was spending less than she was.
• I lost my cat If found, please return him, dead and alive.
  Thanks,
  Sincerely,
  Erwin Shrodinger.
• Russian soldier is walking in only one shoe. Somebody asks: Did you lost one? No, I've found one
• I started dating a guy, but then I found out he lost all of his toes in a freak work accident Unfortunately, I'm lack toes intolerant.
  (This joke inspired by an 8 year old)
• I walked out of a goodwill store one time and found this woman crying. She had just lost $200, so I gave her $40 from the $200 I just found.
• I'm so poor…. That when people see me walking down the street with only one flip-flop on they say to me yo Juan you lost a flip flop and I say no I didn't, I found one!
• another bar joke a duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe. the bartender says, "so you lost a shoe?" and the duck says, "no, i found one"
• What did the baker say when he found his lost dough? That's exactly what I kneaded!
• I lost my virginity at age 20. I found it again after I got married.
• There's a place in UK where you can search for lost and found Its called The British Museum

Lost Phone Jokes

Here is a list of funny lost phone jokes and even better lost phone puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why would a phone need glasses? When it's lost its contacts.
• I set my phone to airplane mode I lost it two weeks ago and everyone has a different opinion on what happened to it
• Why did the phone keep walking into the wall? It lost its contacts.
• Another funny joke from my daughter! Why did the phone need glasses?
  Because it lost all of its contacts!
• My friend lost his phone today He wanted me to tell you guys he's vegan
• Oh. You lost your phone and it's on silent? If you like it, you should've put a ring on it.
• I don't have tags for my dog, but I bought her a phone in case she got lost. She ran away today. I really should collar.
  Also, Lost: Seeing Eye Dog
  Last Seen: Never
• What do you say to a phone who can't see very well? "Have you lost your contacts?"
  Please be gentle, I'm new to this
• I dropped my phone in the bath. I dropped my phone in the water. I put it in rice to dry out, it works now but i lost all my contacts except for my uncle bens.
• My friend asked me why I haven't texted him in such a long while, I replied, "My phone screen broke and now it's completely unusable... so I lost touch."

Lost Luggage Jokes

Here is a list of funny lost luggage jokes and even better lost luggage puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Finding your lost luggage at the airport should be easy...... however, that's not the case.
• Took Qantas to court over my missing luggage. They lost the case.
• I sued the airport for misplacing my luggage They lost the case

Are You Lost Jokes

Here is a list of funny are you lost jokes and even better are you lost puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Today I gave my seat to a blind lady on the bus, That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
• Sad news....I lost my job as a stage designer, I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.
• I told my wife I lost 10 lbs in one hour "No way. That's impossible!" she said.
  "Trust me," I said, "I have no idea where our baby is."
• I used to like Mitch Hedberg jokes... I still do, but I used to, too.
  18 years ago, today, we lost one of the greats.
  R.I.P. to a legend.
• What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common? Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...
• I don't understand why they say hundreds of people lost in Squid Game. In the end, 45.6 billion won.
• Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
• My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
  (This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).
• Jesus died for your sins. But did He stay dead?
  At most, He lost a weekend for your sins.
• So there was a stork carrying an old man.. ..and the old man turns to it and says:
  "Would you at last admit it that we are lost?"

Uplifting Lost Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about lost you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean released jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lost pranks.