Following is our collection of Loss jokes which are very funny. There are some loss fatal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these loss composure puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.
I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm
He noticed a woman sitting next to the empty seat and made a remark about it to her. "Well, it was my husband's", she said. "But he died." "Oh my gosh!" He said. "I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm surprised that another friend or family member didn't jump at the chance to take the ticket." "Beats me", she said. "They all insisted on going to the funeral."
2 old friends are catching up at an old pal's funeral. One takes a moment to pause and finally asks the question.
"So... How'd it happen?"
To which the other responds.
"Well, as I understand it, he went to the doctor the other day and the doctor said he was 'as healthy as a horse.' But on the way home he broke a leg."
...as they are being served their food the wife says "if I worked here, I'd weigh 200 pounds!"
The man responds "so you'd loss weight?"
This was an actually conversation by my parents, all in good fun of course.
Memory loss.
He was so upset he got his gun, pointed it at his throwing hand, and pulled the trigger.
He's OK, The bullet was intercepted.
self.Jokes
Some of the better ones
* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us
Anyone have more?
A pillow
You can explore loss mastectomy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean loss defeat dad jokes. There are also loss puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Wedding cake.
I thought he didn't care about the 1%
I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it.
He's dead. Died from blood loss. Poor guy. On the bright side, his family got what's left of him.
Nearly a total loss... All that was left was de-brie.
at how gullible people on the internet are.
He lost 10,000 pounds! But it didn't work
They both suffered the loss of one very important port.
It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...
I don't have money to eat anything for 2 months.
I couldn't get the message across.
She takes The Sims very seriously.
Declare that the US has a $900 million loss so we all don't have to pay taxes!
At least, I think I did...
I have ADHD, so they're sending me to a concentration camp
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
Hair loss.
I hope I don't have it, as it runs in the family. You see, my mom had memory loss
I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...
Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.
She was just admitted to the ER with an arrow to the knee.
As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"
Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.
she didn't like it
the curators are at a loss for words.
And memory loss.
My wife is down 80 Lbs.
I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. I'm starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.
They chat and learn they have a common bond. The first one says "My restaurant was wiped out by a fire, everything inside was wrecked."
The second one says "Mine was taken out by a flood, total loss too."
The first one thinks a bit then asks "How do you start a flood?"
When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.
The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".
"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.
"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.
"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.
"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".
Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant, Doctor?!
Oh not at all, but at first glance, it would certainly seem so. Here's our weight loss brochure.
A man with short term memory loss walks into a bar.
I guess the patients must have hearing aids.
They must be rolling in their graves.
Not mine but felt it had to be shared.
Me: w-what are you saying?
Doctor: ..of hearing.
Me: what?
You'll have nothing to gain.
Memory loss
I'm at a loss for words
My favorite weight loss program
Or even worse, memory loss.
It was a huge loss
what does smoking Marijuana do?
But, say what you will about memory loss.
How are you supposed to eat if there's a dragon guarding the fridge?
So I said "Thank you for your loss."
Me: "I'm sorry for your loss, at least he's not suffering anymore."
Her: "He was shot. The doctor said he died instantly."
Me: "I mean he doesn't have to deal with you now"
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
But judging by your hair and clothes I think you might've had this disease for quite some time.
I read it in Men's Health Journal 2006 on page 73 paragraph 4 footnote 3.
The receptionist tells her that its £1 per word.
"Oh my. I don't have much money so can you just write 'Mort is dead,' please?"
Feeling sorry for the poor old lady, the receptionist tells her she can have another 3 words, free of charge.
The recently widowed OAP thinks for a second and says: " Mort is dead. Volvo for sale."
I'm starting to think they're bad luck
Patient: "As long as I can remember."
If you suffer from short term memory loss
We were both at a loss for words when we saw each other. I was wondering what to say and she was wondering why I was in her apartment.
A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee
Man: Doctor, I have a serious memory loss problem
Doctor: Hmm.. and since when did you have this problem?
Man: What problem?
Then what does smoking weed do?
If we give up now and skip this year, it's admitting our loss and saying 2021.
Atrophy
Open a beer and smell it. If you can smell the beer, this is good, as one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is a loss of smell.
Now drink the beer. If you can taste it, this is good, as another symptom of COVID-19 is loss of taste.
I was tested 11 times yesterday, and all tests turned out negative.
I need more testing today, since headache is another potential symptom...
I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.
But that didn't help. So she tried a Playstation - no luck there either. She ended up going through everything from a Sega Master System to a Nintendo Switch, but nothing helped - turns out I was just inconsolable
With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary...
It's the only way he can make America GRATE again.
Credit to my 12 year old son.
It's a loss he **can't** write off on his tax returns.
The women defensively says, "Look, I'm obese. My sister is obese. My mother is obese. My kids are obese. My brother is obese. Obesity runs in my family." The doctor replies, "It sounds like nobody runs in your family."
Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.
When I told you to play like you have never played before, i did not mean that you should play like you have never *played* before!
He was generally well, just thought it was a good idea to check in. The doctor, however, immediately reached for the covid swab.
"I'm going to test you for Covid19" the Doctor said.
"But I'm well, no complaints, why would you do that?" Replied the man.
"Well..." The doctor started, his gaze narrowing. "Loss of taste is a known symptom of the virus, and you're wearing Crocs."
I told her, "No, I've dressed like this for quite a while."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the loss destruction jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working loss mourn piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.