Losing Hair Jokes
24 losing hair jokes and hilarious losing hair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about losing hair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Losing Hair Short Jokes
Short losing hair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The losing hair humour may include short losing your hair jokes also.
- Her: Wow, you know all the right moves in bed. How's about a second go but this time lose the hat Ratatouille's Remy hiding in my hair: Tell her your head is cold
- My friend said he was worried he's losing his hair I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head
- People say that stress can make you lose your hair... and pulling your hair can be a root problem.
- What do these things have in common; chapstick, pencils, pens, hair ties, nail clippers, and socks? They all almost never lose a game of hide and seek.
- I took my dog to the vet because he was losing hair on his head. Apparently he's got male patting baldness.
- For some silly reason my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair... I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd be 'balled' soon
- Why doesn't Trump care that the stress from being investigated is making him lose his hair? Because he is so over Comey.
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Losing Hair One Liners
Which losing hair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with losing hair? I can suggest the ones about going bald and balding hair.
- Did you hear about the Norse god who couldn't stop losing hair? His name was Balder
- "I'm losing my hair!" he bawled.
- My Twitter Followers are like my hair... ...Everyday I lose more than what I gain
- Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair? He has cancer.
Losing Hair Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about losing hair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make losing hair pranks.
A man goes to the doctor, he's visibly losing hair.
He says to the doctor, "I've spent months trying to grow my hair back, trying so many different treatments, but nothing has worked." The doctor says, "Well, it sounds a bit weird but, I suggest you rub the top of your head against your wife's private area once a night." The man does so, and a month later he walks into the doctor's office with a full head of hair. He notices that the doctor has grown a mustache and beard.
A man walks into a bar...
and sits down.
There is nobody else in the place except him and the bartender. He orders a drink and the bartender goes off to make it.
While he is sitting there he hears a voice say " Nice shoes". The man looks around and finds nobody around. He shakes his head and continues to wait for his drink.
Right away another voice says " Great shirt". Now the man gets up and gives a quick look around the bar. Still nobody around.
As soon as he sits back down he hears another voice say "Love your hair"
Now the guy is freaked out. The bartender comes back and places his drink down. The guy says " I have been hearing these voices. They were saying things like " Nice shoes, Great shirt and love your hair". I think I am losing my mind!
The bartender gives a quick chuckle as he points to a full pale on the bar. He says " Its the peanuts! They are complimentary"
My pops favourite joke.
An old man starts to lose his hearing, and goes to the doctors to be diagnosed.
The doctor says to the man, "can you describe to me the symptoms?"
The man replied "yes, Marge has tall blue hair and Homer is an alcoholic."
I came up with this one during my haircut.
Barber: Sir, you are losing hair, your hair is thinning.
/*I sensed that im about to get some treatment suggestion*/
Me: So, are you planning for any discount on final bill?
She chuckled.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is the world history's worst hairdresser?
Delilah. She cut Samson 's hair and lose his super human strength.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A middle-aged man and woman are getting ready to go out for the evening...
The man is n**..., standing in front of his bedroom mirror.
Honey, I can't believe I'm turning 50 in just a few months. Look at how old I've gotten! My belly is sticking out, I have wrinkles and liver spots all over, and I'm losing my hair. I feel so bad about myself
Then he turns to his wife and says:
Did you hear me? I'm feeling down and I need you to tell me something good about me
The wife looks up from her book, adjusts her glasses, and says:
Well, at least you still have 20/20 vision
Two Guys Both Lose Their Wives In A Grocery Store
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a tank top with short white shorts.
What does your wife look like?"
The old guy replies, "It doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A plane passes through a fierce storm...
In a transatlantic flight, the turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse whenone wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane, "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I am going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of s**... in my life, but no one has ever made me feel like a woman! I've had it! Is there ANYONE on the plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?!"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare riveted at the desperate woman in front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous — tall, built with long, flowing balck hair and jet black eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and he extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman and whispers: "Iron this."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman, in particular, loses it!
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of s**... in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"
For a moment there is silence.
Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.
"I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He's drop-dead gorgeous.
Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches.
He removes his shirt.
Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."