Loser Jokes
86 loser jokes and hilarious loser puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loser that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for loser jokes? You've come to the right place! Our collection of loser jokes is sure to get you laughing.
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Funniest Loser Short Jokes
Short loser jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loser humour may include short loss jokes also.
- Why does everyone assume that just because I'm a 40 year old loser that I live in my parent's basement? My parents don't have a basement. I live in my bedroom like a big boy.
- I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.
- The guys at the gym called me a fat loser ... It's really great how they notice my effort.
- Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
- People are like lottery tickets. You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time.
- I lost the Sore Loser Award last night... It's okay. The guy who won really deserved it and there is always next year.
- Why did Loki throw a tantrum when he couldn't find his brother during a game of hide and seek? Because he was a Thor loser
- While gaming last night, I was called a loser due to still having my default skin But when I showed up to school, the next day, wearing a new skin, I'm a psychopath.
- I don't think I'm going to keep playing wordle. I ran out of guesses yesterday, and it called me a loser.
What I'm gathering from these comments is that wordle is Mean. - My dad says his friends called him a loser After all, he's nearly fifty and he's still living at home with his family.
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Loser One Liners
Which loser one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loser? I can suggest the ones about losing and winner.
- Two weevils were in a fight... The loser was forever known as the lesser of two weevils
- Did you hear about the meteorologist competition? The losers got precipitation trophies.
- Before the Bronze Age... people who came in third place were just called losers.
- When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me.
- I don't enjoy winning against The God of Thunder... He is always a Thor loser.
- I auditioned to be on "The Biggest Loser"... They told me "you win"
- I could easily lose weight but momma raised no loser.
- What would the most depressing game show be? Biggest Loser: All-Stars.
- What is a weightlifter on a cut the day after an intense workout? a sore loser
- There are no winners or losers in Thailand... just ties.
- Don't worry. You're not the biggest loser. Because all zeroes are equal.
- I think I could win "The Bggest Loser"
- Not a 19 years old loser anymore I am 20 years old since today
- Alone, I'm a loser But together, we have schizophrenia.
- There are no winners or losers in Fortnite. Except the losers.
Biggest Loser Jokes
Here is a list of funny biggest loser jokes and even better biggest loser puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, "the Apprentice." But, did you know about Hillary's show? "the Biggest Loser."
- What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser? They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.
- I can finally set my tivo to record "the biggest loser"... ...kept trying to record the jets game
- I watch the biggest loser sometimes... I like to pretend they can see me eating.
- Britain should be a contestant on The Biggest Loser... because it just lost billions of pounds.
Loser Winner Jokes
Here is a list of funny loser winner jokes and even better loser winner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When does a poll ever show the LOSER on TOP and the WINNER on the bottom? When Ron Paul wins!
- What did the sore winner say to the sore loser? "So're you!"
Sore Loser Jokes
Here is a list of funny sore loser jokes and even better sore loser puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A drug addict, a man taking a nap, and Donald Trump. What are a user, a snoozer, and a sore loser.
- Did you hear about the guy who lost the wrestling match? Turns out he's a sore loser.
Gather Around for Fun Loser Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about loser you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean profit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loser pranks.
Tonight, two candidates squared off in a head to head clash for supremacy. One of these candidates has to come out on top. The loser will go home, defeated.
The winner will face Detroit in the World Series
A man entered a wood cutting contest.
He'd been practicing a lot and really wanted to win. When he lost, he was so angry he threw the saw as far as he could into the forest. Unfortunately, it couldn't be found later. I guess you could say he was a saw
loser.
Boy comes up to his grandma...
and says, "Kids keep calling me a loser."
Grandma says, "Now, now, why would they call you a loser. Just look at you... blazer tucked in pants, pants tucked in socks, wearing sandals. You're perfect!"
I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.
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Who the biggest Loser of them all?
Type this in on your search bar.
LOSER.COM
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love is the emotional equivalent to roofies
You will eventually wake up pregnant with the child of a loser not understanding how you could let it happen.
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A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar.
The bartender says:
What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?
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A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...
The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"
What's the difference between "loose" and "loser"?
One describes your mom and the other describes your dad.
The ace fighter pilot Robin olds and super man got into an arm restling competition.
The loser had to wear underwear on the outside for the rest of their life.
Chuck Norris and Superman arm wrestled...
Loser had to wear his underwear over his pants till the rest of his life.
I used to be a loser with no potential, but now I'm more than that.
I'm a loser with no potential and no girlfriend.
[FIGHT] Chuck Norris VS Superman.
Chuck Norris and Superman once agreed to a fight, the loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their pants.
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1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a cold war...
5, 6, 7, 8 loser is a buffer state.
I like how the girl that called me a loser in high school is now blowing up my phone
She sends me things like what are your plans for dinner and Your dad and I are going out for dinner there's food in the fridge
I've been playing hide and seek with a roach for two days now.
He still hasn't found me since this morning. What a loser.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I look in the mirror, I see a massive loser.
I see my own reflection, too, but this w**... has been following me around all day.
Loser conference.
The first international conference of losers took place.
Losers came from all over the world, but the conference was canceled.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a knife fight, the loser dies in the street.
But the winner dies in the ambulance
Watching gymnastics
*gymnast does a double-triple-super-ultra-backflip-frontflip but takes a tiny step when she lands*
Me : *mouthful of pringles* what a loser
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getting into an argument on the internet is kind of like participating in the special olympics
i could never win either one because i'm a worthless loser
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What do you call an old dude failing at poker and Fortnite who fallen asleep?
A snoozer loser!
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My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med-school because I was too s**... to be a doctor
8 years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.
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What do you call a hero that doesn't aim for the head and requires a rematch?
A Thor loser.
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When I was young...
...my teacher said I was nothing but a s**... loser, and I'd never amount to anything.
Now, I look back on my life and I realize that being home-schooled really s**....
Does this sub take requests? Please share your favorite Chuck Norris joke!
They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Chuck Norris and Superman fought once and placed a bet on the outcome. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside!
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There was a fat guy at the gym the other day. He was r**... over his tired limbs.
I guess he really is a sore loser.
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What's cold, sore, and you can never get rid of?
Our b**... a**... loser president
I once had a fight with Superman
We decided the loser has to wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.
The secret to a long life.
Everyone asked a 100 year-old man for his health secrets:
The old man said: I'll tell you you a secret.
I've been married for 75 years. Promised my wife when we got married that when two people quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers.
I've been walking 5 kilometers everyday for 75 years!
Everyone asked again: But how come your wife's very healthy as well?
The old man answered: I'll tell you another secret: she'd been following me to make sure I really finish the 5 kilometers!
Everyone asked a 100 year-old man for his health secrets:
The old man said: I'll tell you you a secret. I've been married for 75 years.
Promised my wife when we got married that when two people quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers. I've been walking 5 kilometers everyday for 75 years!
Everyone asked again: But how come your wife's very healthy as well?
The old man answered: I'll tell you another secret: she'd been following me to make sure I really finish the 5 kilometers!
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2 guys sitting in a bar watching the news.
A news story comes on about someone threatening to jump off a building. o**... turns to the other and says, " I'll bet you $500.00 he will jump". The other guy says, "You're on"!
A few minutes pass and the guy on TV jumps.
The loser of the bet says, " Well, here is your $500.00. I lost fair and square". The winner says, " Thanks, but I can't take your money. I saw this on the news earlier today".
The loser says, " I saw it too. But I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to do it again".
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I am such a loser
The last time I won anything I was still a s**...
Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98 year old wife for their health secrets:
The old man said: I'll tell you my secret.
I've been married for 75 years. Promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometers.
So I've been walking 5 kilometers every day for past 75 years!
Everyone applauded and asked again:
But how come your wife is very healthy as well?
The old man answered: That is another secret. For 75 years every single day She has been following me to make sure I really walk the full 5 Kilometers!
Chuck Norris and Superman once had an arm wrestling contest
Loser has to wear his underwear above his pants.
My pirate friends always bring a box of Q-tips to poker night.
The loser has to swab the deck.
Three guys are competing to see who is the best swordsman in the world.
The first guy throws an orange into the air and chops it into 10 pieces before it hits the ground.
The second guy throws a grape in the air and chops it into 20 pieces before it hits the ground.
The last guy sees a fruit fly and takes a massive swipe at him. The fly doesn't even budge and flies away.
The other two start laughing and declare him the loser
"Ah he says but that fly will never be a father"
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Cosmological loser
n. A person who is a waste of both space and time. .
