Following is our collection of funniest Lose jokes. There are some lose opponents jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lose win puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Because his father grounded him.
And asks the Librarian if he can checkout a book about War. The Librarian responds, "No, you'll lose it."
It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
(England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)
only 13 lbs. to go!"
And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.
Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
Because orange is the new black.
If you take off the ring you lose your house and half your belongings
you always lose a few Pounds after a breakup.
You'll never lose your pounds quicker.
leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds
You can explore lose concede reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lose vanish dad jokes. There are also lose puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
30 pounds to go
Stupid auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".
France surrenders
Italy changes sides
Both lose
In an explosion.
Only 30 more to go and I'm there!
Exit the European Union.
Because they always shoot down the black one first.
If you buy enough, you are guaranteed to lose 30 pounds fast.
Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated...
β¦but I just love him moreβ¦
The Steam summer sale
Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*
He was too hard on the gas
It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.
- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.
But nature is only out a buck.
Only 12 more to go
Drown them.
So far I've managed to lose Β£200.
Only 15 more to go
The girl's husband was getting a bit tubby round the middle, so she decided to tempt him to do something about it.
"Honey," she said, "if you lose 20 lbs, I'll do a sexy striptease for you."
Cruelly, he replied, "And if you lose 20 lbs, I'll watch."
They begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, but in the end you lose your house.
That is why individuals with no sense of Humor
have increased sense of self-importance and narcissism.
They cut off its legs and said "jump!"
The frog didn't jump.
Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf.
The restaurant will ask you to leave before you can eat too much.
When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.
The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".
"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.
"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.
"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.
"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".
That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
The steaks have never been higher.
They both want to see if their powers still work
so moses splits the lake, walks right through, and says "alright jesus, now you try it"
So jesus tries to walk atop the waters but winks right through, and swims to the other side.
"What happened?" Moses asks, "Did you lose balance or something?"
"Well last time I didn't have holes in my feet"
I'm finally above average for something
He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!
I asked what she had in mind.
"Let's play doctor", she said.
I told her to go in the bedroom, shut the door, take off all of her clothes and wait on the bed for me.
After a half an hour I walked in, told her to lose 20 lbs. and handed her a bill for $300.
Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.
I'm finally above average for something.
Breakfast and dinner.
My dad told me this joke please laugh.
I'm really good at measuring dicks.
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
All he has to do is lose 50lbs.
He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
It'll be awesome to see Trump lose twice.
Lose an election.
Just reset to olfactory settings.
I know right where it is. They just don't want me there anymore
Because their queen doesn't die.
Her friend tells her to always try to get to 10,000 steps a day to lose weight.
One night it's 11.30pm and her boyfriend hears footsteps downstairs. He goes down to find her walking around the living room backwards.
"What ARE you doing?" he asks.
"Melanie told me to do 10,000 steps a day - I was on 10,020!"
tree fiddy
The boy obeyed. The boy returned home and reported to his mom.
Son: Mom! I led the cat far into the jungle. I even got lost!!
Mother: How were you able to come back home?
Son: I followed the cat.
As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.
I replied 'Hey! Riverdale is a good show'
Next morning He found Her asleep on the same spot and quickly went to the meat shop and bought a whole cow liver, went back home and carefully placed it right by her crotch and left to work.
When He came back home found His wife crying and had a pale face. He said whats wrong?
Wife: I lost my womb like You said
Husband: did it hurt?
Wife: didn't feel anything but it hurt like hell when I put it back in.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lose backhand jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lose losing weight piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.