Lorry Jokes
37 lorry jokes and hilarious lorry puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lorry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh away the day with these hilarious lorry jokes. From overturned lorries to lorry drivers in a pinch, find out why it pays to be a trucker. Get the gags on SUV drivers being stuck in traffic, or discover why congestion is a lorry driver's ultimate enemy. With all these roadside stories, you'll be in stitches!
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Funniest Lorry Short Jokes
Short lorry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lorry humour may include short trucker jokes also.
- This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks. I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it.
- The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident. He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry
- News just in, a lorry carrying onions has sheded its load all over the M1 motorway. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on
- A lorry carrying 300kg of strawberries crashed into a lorry carrying 50kg of sugar. Instead of helping clear up the accident cars drove through the mess and the jam was getting thicker!
- A wedding photographer was tragically killed today when a 250lb wheel of cheese fell off the catering lorry and crushed him. All the guests tried frantically to warn him, but to no avail.
- Load of animals in the back of a lorry.. The cow says "mooooooooove over"
The chicken says "fkaaaf" - Two std's crossing the road. All of a sudden a lorry approached at a very high speed.
One says to the other I think I am a gonorrhoea. - We Indians have proved that We can't only overload taxi's, auto's, buses, trains, lorries but also Satellites.
- Pulling out of a parking space, I asked my wife, "Are there any cars coming?" "No" she said.
As I got onto the road she added "Just a lorry" - Lorry crashes and leaves the road full of boxes. Don't worry though, it was just boxes of Vicks vapour rub....
There was no congestion at all.
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Lorry One Liners
Which lorry one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lorry? I can suggest the ones about big truck and firetruck.
- A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
- A lorry load of wigs has been stolen from down town. Police are combing the area.
- I got arrested for tailgating a lorry. Or as the police called it, "stalking my ex".
- Doctor I feel like a bridge... "What's come over you"
"2 cars a bus and a lorry" - What do you call Czechoslovakian lorry driver? Idroavan downaditch
- Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job? He ate his tacho.
- A lorry full of wigs was stolen last night.... Police are combing the area.
- What did I say when I got run over by a shampoo lorry.
- I just heard news of a lorry killing 84 people... He wasn't very NICE.
- Why did the bin lorry c**... into a bunch of pedestrians? It was Bin-Laden
Silly & Ridiculous Lorry Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about lorry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pickup truck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lorry pranks.
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street and gets hit by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A policeman is despatched to inform the unfortunate man's family:
"There's no easy way to say this..."
Dracula
Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet the vampire slayer
Couple police jokes
1) A hole has opened up on the motorway, the police are looking into it.
2) Someone has stolen the toilets at the police station, the police have nothing to go on.
3) A lorry carrying hair gel has tipped under suspicious cirumstances, over scattering it's content all over the road. The police are combing the area.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mate of mine once had s**... with the exhaust pipe on the back of his lorry.
He found out a week later he was HGV positive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke for farmers
Three farmers were in prison.
One asks another what he did. He replies that he stole trailer load of wheat and got 1 year. He asks what the first farmer did. He said that he stole a lorry load of barley and got 2 years.
He then asks what the third farmer was in for. r**..., the third farmer replies. Shocked, the first farmer exclaimed "Christ, how much did you steal?!"
2 VD germs
2 VD germs crossing the road and a big lorry hurtles towards them. One says to the other 'Looks like we're a goner ear.:
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tea Break
p**... was driving his lorry (truck) when he saw a bridge with a sign saying 10 foot max. headroom. He slowed down wondering if he could drive under it or not , 'A Shure an' Begorrah, I'll give it a go,' he thought only to find that his lorry got wedged tight underneath it. …
…
p**... sat back in his seat, poured out a cup of tea and lit a cigarette. A policeman arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab door which p**... then opened, 'what do you think you are doing?' asked the policeman in a sharp tone. …
…
'Sure I'm having me tea break,' replied p**...,
'And what do you work at?' asked the policeman,
'Agh shure I deliver bridges,!' smiled p**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is crossing a busy road
A man is crossing a busy road when he'**... by a red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow, lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red Lorry, yellow, lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry and finally another red lorry.
Later that day a younge police officer knocks on the door of the man's wife to inform her of the news
Wife - "officer what is it?"
Officer - "your husband was in a terrible accident"
Wife - "oh no what happened"
Officer "ma'am there's no easy way to say this"
A lorry driver is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo
when his lorry breaks down on the motorway. The driver gets out of the cab and is looking at the engine when a second lorry driver stops in front of him and asks if he needs help. The penguins' driver explains that he is taking the penguins to the zoo and asks if the other man would
take the penguins there. He agrees.
Some hours later, the 2nd lorry driver drives past the first one, who is still waiting on the motorway. The penguins are still on the lorry, and look happy.
"I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo," shouted the first driver.
The second replied, "I did, but I had some money left, so we're going to the cinema now."
