Lorry Jokes

39 lorry jokes and hilarious lorry puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lorry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh away the day with these hilarious lorry jokes. From overturned lorries to lorry drivers in a pinch, find out why it pays to be a trucker. Get the gags on SUV drivers being stuck in traffic, or discover why congestion is a lorry driver's ultimate enemy. With all these roadside stories, you'll be in stitches!

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Funniest Lorry Short Jokes

Short lorry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lorry humour may include short trucker jokes also.

  1. A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.
  2. My friend was hit by a lorry carrying omega3 supplements Luckily the injuries were super fish oil
  3. This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks. I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it.
  4. The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident. He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry
  5. A friend of mine was run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
    When the policeman informed his family he said
    "There's no easy way to say this"...
  6. News just in, a lorry carrying onions has sheded its load all over the M1 motorway. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on
  7. A lorry carrying 300kg of strawberries crashed into a lorry carrying 50kg of sugar. Instead of helping clear up the accident cars drove through the mess and the jam was getting thicker!
  8. A wedding photographer was tragically killed today when a 250lb wheel of cheese fell off the catering lorry and crushed him. All the guests tried frantically to warn him, but to no avail.
  9. Load of animals in the back of a lorry.. The cow says "mooooooooove over"
    The chicken says "fkaaaf"
  10. Two lorry's crashed into each other, one containing terrapins the other containing tortoises... It was a turtle disaster.

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Lorry One Liners

Which lorry one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lorry? I can suggest the ones about big truck and firetruck.

  1. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
  2. A lorry load of wigs has been stolen from down town. Police are combing the area.
  3. I got arrested for tailgating a lorry. Or as the police called it, "stalking my ex".
  4. Doctor I feel like a bridge... "What's come over you"
    "2 cars a bus and a lorry"
  5. What do you call Czechoslovakian lorry driver? Idroavan downaditch
  6. Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job? He ate his tacho.
  7. A lorry full of wigs was stolen last night.... Police are combing the area.
  8. What did I say when I got run over by a shampoo lorry.
  9. I just heard news of a lorry killing 84 people... He wasn't very NICE.
  10. Why did the bin lorry c**... into a bunch of pedestrians? It was Bin-Laden

Lorry Load Jokes

Here is a list of funny lorry load jokes and even better lorry load puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A lorry carrying a load of tortoises crashed though a railway crossing into a train full of terrapins . What a turtle disaster .
  • A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way. The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.
Lorry joke, A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it'

Silly & Ridiculous Lorry Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about lorry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pickup truck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lorry pranks.

A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street

A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street and gets hit by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A policeman is despatched to inform the unfortunate man's family:
"There's no easy way to say this..."


Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet the vampire slayer

Couple police jokes

1) A hole has opened up on the motorway, the police are looking into it.
2) Someone has stolen the toilets at the police station, the police have nothing to go on.
3) A lorry carrying hair gel has tipped under suspicious cirumstances, over scattering it's content all over the road. The police are combing the area.

Two std's crossing the road.

All of a sudden a lorry approached at a very high speed.
One says to the other I think I am a gonorrhoea.

A mate of mine once had s**... with the exhaust pipe on the back of his lorry.

He found out a week later he was HGV positive.

Today a truck full or terrapins tragically crashed into a lorry full of tortoises.

It was a turtle disaster.

A joke for farmers

Three farmers were in prison.
One asks another what he did. He replies that he stole trailer load of wheat and got 1 year. He asks what the first farmer did. He said that he stole a lorry load of barley and got 2 years.
He then asks what the third farmer was in for. r**..., the third farmer replies. Shocked, the first farmer exclaimed "Christ, how much did you steal?!"

Huge c**... on the high way, a lorry full on snooker equipment toppled over

There were ques for miles

Pulling out of a parking space, I asked my wife, "Are there any cars coming?"

"No" she said.
As I got onto the road she added "Just a lorry"

A Lorry carrying 1,000 Tortoises crashed into a Lorry carrying 1,000 Terrapins...

It was a turtle disaster.

Lorry joke, Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job?