Lord Of The Rings Jokes
95 lord of the rings jokes and hilarious lord of the rings puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about lord of the rings that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Lord Of The Rings Short Jokes
Short lord of the rings jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lord of the rings humour may include short lord of the ring jokes also.
- My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
- Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
- How to anger Lord of the Rings fans? When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
- Ringwraiths My daughter watching Lord of the rings:
D: So the hobbits call the nazgul the black riders right?
Me: yeah
D: the nazgul are like: 'yo, that's wraithist'
Cue facepalm. - Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded. They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.
- If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started? It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.
- I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it. It's really hard to Frodo
- Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with? Legoless.
- Lord of the Rings is symbolic of Marriage One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
- I don't get how people have problems with diversity in Lord of the Rings Legolas has been an arrow ace the whole time.
Share These Lord Of The Rings Jokes With Friends
Lord Of The Rings One Liners
Which lord of the rings one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lord of the rings? I can suggest the ones about hobbit lord and tolkien lord.
- What's the title of audi CEO? Lord of the Rings.
- What is Saturn's favorite movie? Lord of the Rings.
- I always found the Lord of the Rings trilogy a bit boring It's just a LOTR walking around
- whats the difference between lord of the rings and new york? two towers
- What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings? At elven o'clock.
- What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings? Legolas
- Why Lord of The Rings was shot in New Zealand? Because there are no Two Towers in U.S.A.
- Lord of the rings must be about marriage Because when you put the ring on, you disappear
- Seen that new Lord if the Rings pinball machine? It doesn't take coins it takes Tolkiens.
- What do you call it when someone likes Lord Of The Rings way too much? A Bad Hobbit.
- Why can't Americans watch Lord of the Rings? They don't have the Two Towers.
- What do you call an amputee from Lord of the Rings? Legoless
- Which of Peter Jackson's parents died during production of Lord of The Rings? Both.
- What do you call a young Lord of the Rings fan on restriction? Lego-less.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Hilarious Fun Lord Of The Rings Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about lord of the rings you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tolkien hobbit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lord of the rings pranks.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Why were the Ents able to walk in Lord of the Rings?
Because they had mahoga-knees.
A Lord of the Rings Joke
How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?
He read it in the Hobbituary.
Bait and switch comparison
Whats the difference between The Lord of the Rings and the Bible? One's a fantasy novel written about a man saving all of humanity from an omniscient evil presence and the other has hobbits.
I can't stop thinking about The Lord of the Rings books.
They're hobbit-forming.
The Blonde And The Lord
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward! and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RING!"
Middle Earth Dreamer
A man is concerned about his dreams and goes to see a doctor.
"Doctor, I've been having these dreams about Middle Earth every night and when I wake up, I'm convinced that I wrote The Lord of the Rings!"
The doctor tells the man, "Don't worry about it, you're just Tolkien in your sleep."
Remember how in Lord of the Rings they slept out under the stars?
It was pretense.
What do you call the coins you use to play games at the Lord of the Rings Arcade?
J.R.R Tokens. *original joke by Max Howland.
God calls the Pope one day...
The Pope was working at his desk when the phone rings."Hello, this is the Pope."
He immediately recognized the voice at the other end of the line. "My son, this is Jesus Christ. I have called you to give you some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I have returned to the Earth to lead the faithful to Heaven."
The Pope was ecstatic! He said, "My Lord,what could possibly be bad news on this wonderful day?"
Jesus replied, "I'm calling from Salt Lake City."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a m**...'s favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings
What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?
"I don't know what you're Tolkien about!"
Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.
Last night I had a dream that I wrote the Lord of the Rings.
When I woke up my wife said I had been Tolkien in my sleep...
I'm reading Lord of the rings, Galndalf just died...
My wife asked me if Snape killed him.
Have you seen the Paralympic version of Lord of The Rings?
Every character was Legoless
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You can only enjoy Lord of the Rings if you're taking h**......
It's called high fantasy.
Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?
Syrian Mckellen
I bought my friend a copy of The Lord of the Rings but he didn't seem that pleased.
He though it was a Tolkien gesture.
Did you hear about the Lord Of The Rings and Taxi Driver fanatic who had a bit of a stutter?
He said to his friend, "Jay, R, R you Tolkein to me?"
Prostitutes are like the Elves from Lord of the Rings
When you know them well enough they tell you their true name
Why are there no clowns in the Lord of the Rings books?
The author considered it, but realized that the introduction of such a character would be only a Tolkein Jester.
Here are some few movie jokes:
The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.
• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.
Who should have played Bilbo?
Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.
Lotr
Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA.
- The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring.
The Twin Towers..
Was, the best Lord of the Rings film.
Tried To Compromise
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this ultrasound thing.'
"Aw man, who's going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?"
"Elijah Would."
I told my friend I watched The Two Towers and it was fun
I've never seen him get so angry over a Lord Of The Rings film.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's o**... bin Laden's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
I needed a password that was eight characters long
I chose 'lord of the rings'.
What does an American comedian preparing for a holiday and Lord Of The Rings have in common?
Bill Burr packing.
Who would play the role of Frodo Baggins in Lord of The Rings
Elijah Wood.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know the reason why the orcs in the lord of the rings are British?
They saved a lot of time in costumes making their teeth look bad.
Rumor has it Hollywood is casting Idris Elba for a Lord of the Rings reboot to promote diversity.
Idris is playing the Tolkien Black Guy
I wanted to learn to speak Elvish but I got the wrong book.
I can't speak like the Elves from Lord of the Rings but I can curl my lip and order a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich like a champ!
Why does The Lord of the Rings series have such a big cult following?
Because of Elrond Hubbard
Why is Tom Bombadil in Lord of the Rings a racist?
He doesn't like wights.
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...
They said I'd never star in the Lord of the Rings...
But Elijah Wood
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call the only black person in Lord of the Rings?
The Tolkien minority
Threesomes are weird to me.
Especially threesomes involving two women. I always picture a '*Lord of the Rings*' situation where girl 2 turns to girl 1 and says, "Share the load."
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did a Lord of The Ring fan who works as an American borderline guard say to an i**... immigrant?
You shall not pass !!!!
Tried to explain to my girl the plot of Lord of The Rings...
But it's clear she just doesn't understand what I'm J.R.R Tolkien about!
I was once obsessed with "The Lord of the Rings". The books, the movies, the collectables, everything.
Finally I was able to kick the hobbit.
What's the difference between lord of the ring and brokeback mountain?
The color of the ring that gets destroyed
What do Russians and Lord of the Rings fans have in common?
They memorize the names of a bunch of made-up countries (Luhansk, Donetsk, Crimea)
Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend
Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf
What do The Lord of the Rings and Brokeback Mountain have in common?
They're both movies about going to a mountain to destroy someone's ring.
Best films of all time Lord of the rings and the Hobbit trilogies...
Now that's what I'm Tolkien about.
Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel.
Old Hobbits Die Hard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was trying to sleep last night. Here's what happened.
Some dude has this bed right beside mine, and he randomly started saying this:
"I was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein. I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings..."
For f**...'s sake he was Tolkien in his sleep!
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
His name was Legofirst.
A worrying LOTR addiction
Lately I've been watching a *lot* of Lord of the Rings. It started with watching the original versions after work to de-stress. Then I moved on to sneaking the Extended Editions. Recently, I started secretly hoarding the Director's cut versions. I think I may have a problem.
It's becoming hobbitual
