Lord Of The Ring Jokes
96 lord of the ring jokes and hilarious lord of the ring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lord of the ring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lord Of The Ring Short Jokes
Short lord of the ring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lord of the ring humour may include short hobbit lord jokes also.
- My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
- Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
- How to anger Lord of the Rings fans? When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
- Last night I dreamt that I wrote 'Lord of the Rings'. I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep...
- Ringwraiths My daughter watching Lord of the rings:
D: So the hobbits call the nazgul the black riders right?
Me: yeah
D: the nazgul are like: 'yo, that's wraithist'
Cue facepalm. - Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded. They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.
- If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started? It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.
- How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Because old Hobbits die hard...
- I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it. It's really hard to Frodo
- Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with? Legoless.
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Lord Of The Ring One Liners
Which lord of the ring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lord of the ring? I can suggest the ones about tolkien lord and tolkien hobbit.
- What's the title of audi CEO? Lord of the Rings.
- Last night I dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings... I was Tolkien in my sleep.
- What is Saturn's favorite movie? Lord of the Rings.
- I had a dream last night I invented Lord of the Rings. I was Tolkien in my sleep.
- I always found the Lord of the Rings trilogy a bit boring It's just a LOTR walking around
- whats the difference between lord of the rings and new york? two towers
- What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings? At elven o'clock.
- I dreamt once I wrote lord of the rings, it turns out I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
- What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings? Legolas
- What do you call the only black person in Lord of the Rings? The Tolkien minority
- Why Lord of The Rings was shot in New Zealand? Because there are no Two Towers in U.S.A.
- Lord of the rings must be about marriage Because when you put the ring on, you disappear
- Seen that new Lord if the Rings pinball machine? It doesn't take coins it takes Tolkiens.
- What do you call it when someone likes Lord Of The Rings way too much? A Bad Hobbit.
- Why can't Americans watch Lord of the Rings? They don't have the Two Towers.
Entertaining Lord Of The Ring Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about lord of the ring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dark lord jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lord of the ring pranks.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
I had I dream I wrote The Hobbit, and Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I was Tolkien in my sleep.
A Lord of the Rings Joke
How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?
He read it in the Hobbituary.
Bait and switch comparison
Whats the difference between The Lord of the Rings and the Bible? One's a fantasy novel written about a man saving all of humanity from an omniscient evil presence and the other has hobbits.
The Blonde And The Lord
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward! and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RING!"
Middle Earth Dreamer
A man is concerned about his dreams and goes to see a doctor.
"Doctor, I've been having these dreams about Middle Earth every night and when I wake up, I'm convinced that I wrote The Lord of the Rings!"
The doctor tells the man, "Don't worry about it, you're just Tolkien in your sleep."
What do you call a young Lord of the Rings fan on restriction?
Lego-less.
What do you call the coins you use to play games at the Lord of the Rings Arcade?
J.R.R Tokens. *original joke by Max Howland.
God calls the Pope one day...
The Pope was working at his desk when the phone rings."Hello, this is the Pope."
He immediately recognized the voice at the other end of the line. "My son, this is Jesus Christ. I have called you to give you some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I have returned to the Earth to lead the faithful to Heaven."
The Pope was ecstatic! He said, "My Lord,what could possibly be bad news on this wonderful day?"
Jesus replied, "I'm calling from Salt Lake City."
Last night I was dreaming...
So last night I was dreaming that I was writing *The Hobbit* and *The Lord of the Rings* books but my wife complained that I was very loud and disturbed her sleep.
Apparently I was tolkien in my sleep.
What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?
"I don't know what you're Tolkien about!"
Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.
Last night I had a dream that I wrote the Lord of the Rings.
When I woke up my wife said I had been Tolkien in my sleep...
I'm reading Lord of the rings, Galndalf just died...
My wife asked me if Snape killed him.
Have you seen the Paralympic version of Lord of The Rings?
Every character was Legoless
I bought my friend a copy of The Lord of the Rings but he didn't seem that pleased.
He though it was a Tolkien gesture.
Did you hear about the Lord Of The Rings and Taxi Driver fanatic who had a bit of a stutter?
He said to his friend, "Jay, R, R you Tolkein to me?"
Prostitutes are like the Elves from Lord of the Rings
When you know them well enough they tell you their true name
If Lord of the Rings starred Denzel Washington....
...then at least there would be a Tolkien black guy.
Why are there no clowns in the Lord of the Rings books?
The author considered it, but realized that the introduction of such a character would be only a Tolkein Jester.
Here are some few movie jokes:
The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.
• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.
Who should have played Bilbo?
Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.
Lotr
Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA.
- The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring.
The Twin Towers..
Was, the best Lord of the Rings film.
Tried To Compromise
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this ultrasound thing.'
Lord of the Rings is symbolic of Marriage
One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
"Aw man, who's going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?"
"Elijah Would."
I told my friend I watched The Two Towers and it was fun
I've never seen him get so angry over a Lord Of The Rings film.
I had a dream last night that I was reading Lord of the Rings to people.
Turns out I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
What's o**... bin Laden's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
What does an American comedian preparing for a holiday and Lord Of The Rings have in common?
Bill Burr packing.
Do you know the reason why the orcs in the lord of the rings are British?
They saved a lot of time in costumes making their teeth look bad.
Rumor has it Hollywood is casting Idris Elba for a Lord of the Rings reboot to promote diversity.
Idris is playing the Tolkien Black Guy
I wanted to learn to speak Elvish but I got the wrong book.
I can't speak like the Elves from Lord of the Rings but I can curl my lip and order a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich like a champ!
Why does The Lord of the Rings series have such a big cult following?
Because of Elrond Hubbard
The Elves in Lord of The Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them.
It's pretty messed up, they're so arrow minded.
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...
They said I'd never star in the Lord of the Rings...
But Elijah Wood
Threesomes are weird to me.
Especially threesomes involving two women. I always picture a '*Lord of the Rings*' situation where girl 2 turns to girl 1 and says, "Share the load."
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
What did a Lord of The Ring fan who works as an American borderline guard say to an i**... immigrant?
You shall not pass !!!!
Tried to explain to my girl the plot of Lord of The Rings...
But it's clear she just doesn't understand what I'm J.R.R Tolkien about!
I was once obsessed with "The Lord of the Rings". The books, the movies, the collectables, everything.
Finally I was able to kick the hobbit.
What's the difference between lord of the ring and brokeback mountain?
The color of the ring that gets destroyed
Which of Peter Jackson's parents died during production of Lord of The Rings?
Both.
What do Russians and Lord of the Rings fans have in common?
They memorize the names of a bunch of made-up countries (Luhansk, Donetsk, Crimea)
What do you call an amputee from Lord of the Rings?
Legoless
Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend
Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf
What do The Lord of the Rings and Brokeback Mountain have in common?
They're both movies about going to a mountain to destroy someone's ring.
Best films of all time Lord of the rings and the Hobbit trilogies...
Now that's what I'm Tolkien about.
Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel.
Old Hobbits Die Hard.
I was trying to sleep last night. Here's what happened.
Some dude has this bed right beside mine, and he randomly started saying this:
"I was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein. I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings..."
For f**...'s sake he was Tolkien in his sleep!
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
His name was Legofirst.
A worrying LOTR addiction
Lately I've been watching a *lot* of Lord of the Rings. It started with watching the original versions after work to de-stress. Then I moved on to sneaking the Extended Editions. Recently, I started secretly hoarding the Director's cut versions. I think I may have a problem.
It's becoming hobbitual
I don't get how people have problems with diversity in Lord of the Rings
Legolas has been an arrow ace the whole time.
