Loot Jokes

28 loot jokes and hilarious loot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Loot Short Jokes

Short loot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loot humour may include short treasure jokes also.

  1. When the Baltimore rioters looted the CVS, they stole everything except for the Father's Day cards.
  2. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a loot box that MIGHT contain a fish and you'll get paid FOREVERRR!!
  3. The queen asked the visiting Indian Prime Minister, "I hear Indian politicians are notoriously corupt and wealthy" "Quite so," he said, "but none so brazen as to wear their loot on their head".
  4. Why did EA games management cross the road If you wanna find out, please buy the Punchline dlc for 49.99$ or have a chance to get it from a loot box for 2.99$ each
  5. Did you guys hear about the shoe store that got looted in Baltimore? The only thing they left were the work boot.
  6. A friend went to the CVS in Baltimore after the looting to pick up some items, the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards.
  7. Ferguson Protestors looted a Payless Shoe store last night... Cleaned the place out, nothing left but work boots...
  8. Did you hear about the cvs looted by BLM supporters? They took everything but the sunscreen and Father's Day cards.
  9. The Apple Store in my city was looted and thieves took off with $100K worth of products. Police make no arrests and say they were were able to recover both computers.
  10. What wasn't stolen when CVS was looted during the Baltimore riots? The Father's Day cards.

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Loot One Liners

Which loot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loot? I can suggest the ones about steal and theft.

  1. Where do internet pirates get their loot? From pier to pier.
  2. Police won't stop anyone looting GameStop Why would care about $18.53 in merchandise
  3. My Grandfather died in Normandy... After his loot box landed on him...
  4. Have you heard the one about the looted king? His name was Martin
  5. What does Pengu scream when he's raiding a dead person? LOOT LOOT
  6. Internet 2 will have a Battle Royale mode With loot boxes.
  7. What do you do when someone dies? Collect the loot.
  8. Why did the monkey cross the road? To loot the pharmacy on the other side
  9. Satoru Iwata died? Did he drop any good loot?
  10. I you are going to loot the CVS... take the condoms so that you don't reproduce.
  11. If you were killed by a cop... ..which store would you want looted in your memory?
  12. Loot, riot, loot.... The ultimate Black Friday!
  13. Sorry I missed your text message last night; I was out looting.

Loot joke, Sorry I missed your text message last night;

Hilarious Fun Loot Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about loot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean loaf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loot pranks.

Three burglars break into a building and are confronted by a soldier, a cop, and a politician.

The politician tells the soldier to kill Burglar #1, and the two stab each other to death.
The politician then tells the cop to arrest Burglar #2, and the two beat each other unconscious.
The politician then walks up to Burglar #3 and says "I just saved your life, your freedom, and tripled your share of the loot. I think 20% is a fair cut."

What is the difference between a p**... and EA?

Both have expensive loot boxes we have to pay for however it's prostitutes who end up with a bad taste in their mouths not their clients.

A burglar breaks in a house

As he is looking around he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you!" Panicked he looks around but sees nothing and nobody. He keeps searching for loot when again "Jesus is watching you!" This time he does a better search and finally sees a parrot in a cage. "Did you say that?" he asks "Yes, it was me." confirms the parrot. "What's your name?" we inquires. "Moses" answers the parrot. Burglar can't help but to laugh. "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?" "Same type of people that name their guard pit bull Jesus."

Why did EA Games cross the road?

Please purchase a loot crate for a chance at credits to purchase the punchline

What did the pirate say when he turned 81?

Nothing. He stood alone and sobbed uncontrollably, wishing that he could exchange all of his loot to get back the family and friends who all died long before him.
Unable to bear his sorrows for another lonely year, the old pirate kicked the stool out from underneath himself and smiled for the first time in years. He would see them again soon.

Why did the pirate store their loot in an arid area?

Because desert tends to make the b**... larger.

Activision stated that there would be no loot boxes or weapons tied behind something you have to pay for in the newest CoD

Lol who is buying that.

What do you get when you mix a nymphomaniac with a kleptomaniac?

Someone who makes out with the loot.

What did the insensitive gamer ask when he learned that his best friend died?

He asked, "Did he drop any loot?"

A man had been in jail for robbing a bank for many years now...

The police still haven't located the stolen money. One day his wife sent a letter to him asking, "I want to plant a garden in the backyard, should I do so?" The man, knowing that every letter sent in and out had been read, wrote back "No don't do it in the backyard, that's where my loot is hidden!" A week later his wife send him a letter back saying, "A bunch of police officers came to our house, they dug up the entire backyard!? To which the man responded, "Now plant your garden."

Loot joke, A man had been in jail for robbing a bank for many years now...