Loosen Jokes
18 loosen jokes and hilarious loosen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loosen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Loosen Short Jokes
Short loosen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loosen humour may include short relax jokes also.
- A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have?"
The robot says, "Well, it's been a long day and I need to loosen up. How about a screwdriver?" - How would it be living in an only men city? I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while.
- A cheapskate goes to have his wisdom teeth removed. The dentist said the procedure would cost $100. The cheapskate replies, "I'll give you $50 and just loosen it."
- The Terminator T-100 walks into a bar and says, "Gimmie a screwdriver! I need to loosen up."
- If you really want to loosen your pectineus, you should skip the squats and let me stretch them out.
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Loosen One Liners
Which loosen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loosen? I can suggest the ones about slack and fasten.
- I've made an app to loosen the top of a ketchup bottle It's an open sauce project
- I ate so much at Thanksgiving, I had to loosen my Fitbit.
- Yesterday I tried to loosen a rusty lug nut... But it didn't turn out.
- Why did the rusty bolt go to the bar? To loosen up.
Heartwarming Loosen Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about loosen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lighten jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loosen pranks.
My friends told me I needed to loosen up....
so we went to a club and had a few drinks, after the 5th one I was ready dance.
So I went to the dance floor and then "The Twist" began to play, and I did The Twist.
Then "The Hustle" began to play, and I did The Hustle
Then "Come on Eileen" played and I got banned from the club.
A friend was having trouble with her oldschool mechanical typewriter.
She said 'It's great to have such a retro device, however it doesn't work properly'.
I asked 'What is wrong with it?'
She replied 'Well some of the keys get stuck and I have to move them back manually'
'Ah I think I have a solution'
'Please tell me'
'Well what you need to do is press W, D, 4, T, all at once and it should loosen up'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The teenage granddaughter
The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your r**... show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your r**..., then I can display my hanging baskets.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The teenage granddaughter...
..... comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your r**... show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...
The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your r**..., then I can display my hanging baskets."
Have you heard of the new gay auto shop?
It's called Hot Rods.. I went in to deal with a growing shaft problem and they said my rear end was too tight so they'd have to loosen it up. When I asked what else they offer they mentioned they mostly specialize in fluid service but they've been known to play with well worn trannys as well. Ty also said he could work on my rod end. I told him that I was trying to get it done on my own but he said it's difficult to get right and better if you have a buddy to do it with.
*Brickleberry inspired*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A businessman in China (mild n**...)
A businessman in China to meet the CEO of a major corporation decided to loosen up the day before his big meeting by having a call girl come to his room. They are going through the motions and towards the end she exclaims " ding bao, ding bao!"
Afterwards he asked her what that meant, in a shy voice she said that it meant "excellent!"
The next day his meeting went so well that the CEO invited him to a round of golf. The CEO sank a hole in one on the second hole. Thinking it would make him seem cultured, the businessman exclaimed "Ding Bao, sir!".
The CEO paused, looked at him befuddled, and asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
