Loose Women Jokes
33 loose women jokes and hilarious loose women puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about loose women that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Loose Women Short Jokes
Short loose women jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The loose women humour may include short loose jokes also.
- 3 women in a bar are comparing how loose they are... One claimed they could fit a sausage, another claimed they can fit a cucumber and the other slid down the bar stool.
- 90% of the money I have made.... ...has been spent on hard liquor, loose women, and other pleasures of the flesh.
The rest I squandered. - 3 women in a bar.. talking about how loose they are.
One fits a sausage
one fits a cocumber
and the other one slides down the bar stool. - Three women are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are... One can fit in a sausage, one can fit in a cucumber and the third one just slides down onto the bar stool.
- Three women walk into a bar and are talking about how loose they are, The first one fits a hot dog, the second a cucumber and the last one slides down the bar stool.
- The difference between sexists and misogynists... Sexist: I like my women like I like my jeans - loose in the c**...!
Mysogynist: I like my women like I like my jeans - acid washed!
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Loose Women One Liners
Which loose women one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with loose women? I can suggest the ones about single ladies and crazy women.
- What did the Fonz catch from sleeping with too many loose women? Hepatitis Ayyyy!
- I like my women like I like my pool tables... Fast, loose, and three feet tall.
- I like my bowels like I like my women... Loose.
- What does a bank and a women have in common? When you withdraw, you loose interest.
- What do women and grenades have in common? If you remove the ring you loose your house.
- Why are women who have had kids not allowed in the Navy? Because loose lips sink ships
- 3 women are sitting at a bar all talking about how loose they are...
Uplifting Loose Women Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about loose women you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drunk women jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make loose women pranks.
Father, what causes arthritis?
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''
''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''
Loose women
3 women are sitting at a bar conversing over lady stuff.
Eventually the first woman says, "I'm so loose I can fit an entire carrot up there.."
The second woman chimes in and says, "yes, well I'm so loose I can fit an entire baseball bat up there.."
The Third woman slides down the bar stool
Guy goes to the doctor
A guy goes to the doctor. Asks, "Hey Doc, will I live to 100? I don't drink, don't smoke, don't eat fried foods, and don't run around with loose women."
Doctor replies: "So why would you want to live to 100?"
Ageism joke
A son asks his father: How do women age?
The father answers:" Women age just like onions, son. They bloat with each year, until they start to stink like a spoiled, rotten, onion."
The wife hears and tells the son:" That's nothing! Men age like Christmas trees. First they loose the leafs, then the b**... fall off."
Three women are sitting at a bar...
And they're bragging about how loose they are. The first one says:
"I could fit an entire zucchini up there!"
The second one says:
"Oh yeah? Well I could fit an entire pineapple up there!"
The third one doesn't say anything and she slides down the stool.
Three women are drinking at a bar.
As the night goes on, they begin talking about how loose their vaginas are.
The first woman boasts that her lover can fit his entire fist in.
The second woman says "That's nothing, my husband was able to fit both of his fists in!"
The third woman laughs, finishes her drink, and slides down the barstool.
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were.
One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow.
The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee.
The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
Father Dave took a seat on the A train in NYC...
and was disgusted to see a drunk sitting across from him. The disheveled smelly man was wearing a t-shirt with a photo of a n**... lady on it and he reeked of alcohol. The drunk stared at the priest for a few minutes and then blurted out "Father, what causes migraines and kidney stones?" THe priest glared at the man and said "Spending time with loose women and drinking alcohol!" The drunk went quietly back to his newspaper. After a moment, the priest felt bad and said, "I am sorry. How long have you had these issues for?" The drunk replied "I don't have these issues. I read in the paper that the Pope does."
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day...
He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.
"Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."
The Preist & The Drunkard
A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie is
stained, his face is plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty
bottle of gin sticks out of his torn coat pocket.
He opens his newspaper and begins reading. After a few minutes, the
disheveled guy turns to the priest and asks, "Say, Father, what causes
arthritis?"
"It's caused by loose living, cheap women and too much alcohol!"
"Well, I'll be d**...!" the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest thinks about what he has said, nudges the man and apologizes.
"I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have been so unpleasant about it. Tell me,
how long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the pope does!"
What causes arthritis?
A drunk man sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick. He smelled awful, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living; being with cheap, wicked women; too much alcohol; contempt for your fellow man; sleeping around with prostitutes; and lack of bathing."
The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be darned," then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here, that the Pope does."
Father, what causes arthritis?
A drunken man who smelled of whiskey sat down on a train, next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of the finest whiskey was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be d**..." then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
what causes arthritis?
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"
"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."