The Best 33 Lookout Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Lookout jokes. There are some lookout uss jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lookout guard puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Lookout Jokes and Puns

The Secret of the Red Shirt

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain. He ran a very successful ship, and rarely lost any battles. He took a boy under him to teach him the trade.

One day, the lookout shouted, "Marine ship to the starboard, bearing down upon us!". The captain immediately shouted to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". The ship was boarded, but the captain rallied the pirates and defeated the marines.

Every time a marine ship attacked them, the captain would give the same order to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". And they always won. So, one day the boy asked the captain, "What is the secret of the red shirt?". The captain replied, "The secret is that, if I'm injured in the battle, the crew won't see blood and will not falter." The boy was amazed and grew proud about his captain.

Then one day, the came upon an entire fleet of marine ships. Hundreds upon hundreds of marine ships bore down upon them. The boy came running to the captain with the red shirt. The captain shook his head and said, "Bring me my brown pants."

Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped police custody?

Be on the lookout for a small medium at large.

The police are currently on the lookout for a massive homeless dumpling that has been indiscriminately ransacking houses for money to buy basic necessities.

He's a wanted wanting wanton one-ton wonton.

Lookout joke, The police are currently on the lookout for a massive homeless dumpling that has been indiscriminate

Now that it is 2015 we should all really be on the lookout for Marty Mcfly.

If it is only to forewarn him to invest heavily in Parkinsons research on his return to 1985.

Police are on the lookout for a magician dwarf who escaped prison.

They're looking for a small medium at large.


Why do walruses just love a Tupperware party?

They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.

Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation

Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.

Lookout joke, Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation

Why don't you ever see a crow as roadkill?

They always have another crow as a lookout saying "car, car, car"

The Light & The Rainbow

So we're out one night and my boyfriend says "Where's the rainbow?"

and I say "Lookout it's coming right now."

Then we have sex.

My name's Marie.

Professors at a university stumbled upon a pile of dead crows.

Upon taking them in for examination, they noticed that most had faint paint stains on their bodies. It was determined 98% of the murder of crows were hit by trucks and 2% by cars as the cause of death.

Why were there so many hit by trucks rather than cars?

The lookout crow could call out "Cah," but they couldn't call out "Truck."

Police were on the lookout for serial killer John Wayne Gacy

They stepped into a corner store for some coffee and saw a guy in back where the milk cartons are.
Cop 1: "Hey, that looks like our suspect!"
Cop 2: "What's he doing?"
Cop 1: "Talking to himself. Let's get closer."
So they go up right behind him and listen.
Gacy:"Need him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Need him. Got him...."

You can explore lookout lifeboats reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lookout watchman dad jokes. There are also lookout puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a lookout that sniped the second most evil man to ever live?

The watch that killed Hitler.

A prison bus crashed into a cement mixer

You should be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

Police on lookout for Starbucks thief

Suspect is still at veinte

While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck.

Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

A prison van crashed into a cement mixer this morning...

Police are currently on the lookout for half a dozen hardened criminals.

Lookout joke, A prison van crashed into a cement mixer this morning...

10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...

authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.

A pirate captain is about to pillage a Royal Navy ship.

He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. Then, as soon as they are about to attack, a lookout yells, "Captain, we just realized that there are in fact 20 ships!" The captain suddenly goes very pale and calls, "Bring me my brown pants."

The police has been on the lookout for a large bearded man breaking into children's homes to give them treats.

At least that's what my parents told me whenever I didn't receive any gifts from Santa.


News break: A fortune telling midget just escaped from prison, police are reporting to be on the lookout for a:

Small medium at large.

Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway,

Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals

Courtesy of The Legendary Ken M; The ideal superpower is invisibility...

Because it allows you to keep an unseen lookout for perverts in the women's locker room.

A Sea Captain is complaining about how difficult his life is without a leg and an arm

He says to his crew mates, " When ye missin' two major parts of ye, thar ain't many things ye can do. "

The lookout hollers from the crow's nest " I 'ave it worse Captain! "

" Oh!? " The Sea Captain exclaims " 'n which two parts of ye be missin'? "

To which the lookout replies " Eye, eye Captain! "

A cement truck smashed into a prison van...

Police are telling people to be on the lookout for 8 hardened criminals.

Did you hear the police are on the lookout for a psychic midget?

Yeah, there is a small medium at large.

A mysterious force drug a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.

The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.

The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."

The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."

A clairvoyant dwarf escaped from prison...

please be on the lookout for a small medium at large.

Two Irish friends leave the pub

One says to other, I can't be bothered to walk all the way home.

I know, me too, but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.

We could steal a bus from the depot, replies his mate.

They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look-out. After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, What are you doing? Have you not found one yet?

I can't find a No. 91.

Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout!

Two Irish friends leave the pub.

Two Irish friends leave the pub.

One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all the way home'. 'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.

We could steal a bus from the depot' replies his mate.

They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look-out.

After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, 'What are you doing? Have you not found one yet?'

'I can't find a No. 91' 'Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout.

Cement Mixer

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass.


Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess...

...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.

Just In Time

A cop was on night patrol driving up near lover's lookout when he noticed a parked car with a young man reading on the front seat and a young woman knitting on the back seat. He pulled over and walked up to their car. "What are you doing, Son?" the cop asked. "Reading," the young man answered. The cop shone his flashlight on the back seat. "And what is she doing?" "She's knitting," the young man answered. "How old are you?" the cop asked suspiciously. "I'm twenty one," the man answered. "And how old is she?" the cop asked. The young man looked at his watch, "In forty five minutes she'll be eighteen."

Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon.

He is believed to be still on the run

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lookout observatory jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lookout guardia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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