Lookout Jokes
29 lookout jokes and hilarious lookout puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lookout that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Lookout Short Jokes
Short lookout jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lookout humour may include short outlook jokes also.
- Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.
- Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway, Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals
- A prison van crashed into a cement mixer this morning... Police are currently on the lookout for half a dozen hardened criminals.
- Police are on the lookout for a shoplifting gang systematically stealing shirts according to size They're currently at large
- News break: A fortune telling midget just escaped from prison, police are reporting to be on the lookout for a: Small medium at large.
- Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped police custody? Be on the lookout for a small medium at large.
- A psychic midget has escaped prison… Please be on the lookout out for a small medium at large
- A cement truck smashed into a prison van... Police are telling people to be on the lookout for 8 hardened criminals.
- Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess... ...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
- Why do walruses just love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
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Lookout One Liners
Which lookout one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lookout? I can suggest the ones about peek and beware.
- Police on lookout for Starbucks thief Suspect is still at veinte
Uplifting Lookout Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about lookout you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lookout pranks.
i was in Jerusalem for a holiday
Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.
From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.
Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:
Hebrews.
The Secret of the Red Shirt
Once upon a time there was a pirate captain. He ran a very successful ship, and rarely lost any battles. He took a boy under him to teach him the trade.
One day, the lookout shouted, "Marine ship to the starboard, bearing down upon us!". The captain immediately shouted to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". The ship was boarded, but the captain rallied the pirates and defeated the marines.
Every time a marine ship attacked them, the captain would give the same order to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". And they always won. So, one day the boy asked the captain, "What is the secret of the red shirt?". The captain replied, "The secret is that, if I'm injured in the battle, the crew won't see blood and will not falter." The boy was amazed and grew proud about his captain.
Then one day, the came upon an entire fleet of marine ships. Hundreds upon hundreds of marine ships bore down upon them. The boy came running to the captain with the red shirt. The captain shook his head and said, "Bring me my brown pants."
Two Irish friends leave the pub.
Two Irish friends leave the pub.
One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all the way home'. 'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.
We could steal a bus from the depot' replies his mate.
They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, 'What are you doing? Have you not found one yet?'
'I can't find a No. 91' 'Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout.
Police were on the lookout for serial killer John Wayne Gacy
They stepped into a corner store for some coffee and saw a guy in back where the milk cartons are.
Cop 1: "Hey, that looks like our suspect!"
Cop 2: "What's he doing?"
Cop 1: "Talking to himself. Let's get closer."
So they go up right behind him and listen.
Gacy:"Need him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Need him. Got him...."
A pirate captain is about to pillage a Royal Navy ship.
He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. Then, as soon as they are about to attack, a lookout yells, "Captain, we just realized that there are in fact 20 ships!" The captain suddenly goes very pale and calls, "Bring me my brown pants."
The police are currently on the lookout for a massive homeless dumpling that has been indiscriminately ransacking houses for money to buy basic necessities.
He's a wanted wanting wanton one-ton wonton.
Just In Time
A cop was on night patrol driving up near lover's lookout when he noticed a parked car with a young man reading on the front seat and a young woman knitting on the back seat. He pulled over and walked up to their car. "What are you doing, Son?" the cop asked. "Reading," the young man answered. The cop shone his flashlight on the back seat. "And what is she doing?" "She's knitting," the young man answered. "How old are you?" the cop asked suspiciously. "I'm twenty one," the man answered. "And how old is she?" the cop asked. The young man looked at his watch, "In forty five minutes she'll be eighteen."
A Sea Captain is complaining about how difficult his life is without a leg and an arm
He says to his crew mates, " When ye missin' two major parts of ye, thar ain't many things ye can do. "
The lookout hollers from the crow's nest " I 'ave it worse Captain! "
" Oh!? " The Sea Captain exclaims " 'n which two parts of ye be missin'? "
To which the lookout replies " Eye, eye Captain! "
A clairvoyant dwarf escaped from prison...
please be on the lookout for a small medium at large.
Authorities in Lake Tahoe are on the lookout for three bears that have collectively broken into more than 30 homes
Current leads suggest that the bears' location to be somewhere in the goldilock zone
Police are on the lookout for a magician dwarf who escaped prison.
They're looking for a small medium at large.
While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck.
Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.
Two Irish friends leave the pub
One says to other, I can't be bothered to walk all the way home.
I know, me too, but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.
We could steal a bus from the depot, replies his mate.
They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look-out. After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, What are you doing? Have you not found one yet?
I can't find a No. 91.
Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout!
Cement Mixer
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass.
Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Why don't you ever see a crow as roadkill?
They always have another crow as a lookout saying "car, car, car"
Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon.
He is believed to be still on the run
Stuff in the air...
The Country is on the lookout for flying objects.
Today, on Valentine's Day, Cupid almost got taken down by the National Air Patrol...
