Longest Lasting Jokes
23 longest lasting jokes and hilarious longest lasting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about longest lasting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Longest Lasting Short Jokes
Short longest lasting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The longest lasting humour may include short longest running jokes also.
- What's the Longest Word in English? Smiles
Cuz both the first and the last letters are a mile apart - What is the longest word in the English language? Nina:
What is the longest word in the English language?
SoSA:
SMILES: becoz there is a mile between the first and last letters! :P - I spent over an hour at my wife's grave yesterday... whew, that was the longest I've ever lasted
- A recent study shows people with trace amounts of Arsenic, Selenium, Astatine, and Erbium have the longest lasting relationships The best couples always have an AsSeAtEr
Share These Longest Lasting Jokes With Friends
Longest Lasting One Liners
Which longest lasting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with longest lasting? I can suggest the ones about lasting longer and lasted longer than.
- What is the world's longest lasting STD? Children
- Did you know that AC/DC made the longest song ever? It lasted 12 albums
- Why do procrastinators live the longest? Because they die at the last second.
- What type of dress lasts longest? A house dress. It's never worn out.
- What computer lasts the longest? HP
- The longest I've lasted in bed is one hour and two minutes Thanks day light savings
Hilarious Longest Lasting Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about longest lasting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean record longest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make longest lasting pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a competition to find who could last the longest without m**....
I came first.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris
And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.
"So, what are you doing in Paris?"
"I'm a scientist, I research s**..."
The man is now tempted:
"What have you discovered about s**... in your research?"
"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest p**... and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"
"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"
A German butcher and a Polish butcher started a competition...
...to see who could make the longest continuous chain of sausage links in one hour.
It was a tight competitions; both men take pride in their craft and in their sausage-slinging heritage. The two were neck-in-neck up until the 59th minute, wherein the Polish butcher had a slip of the hand and split his last sausage asunder. When the scraps finally settled, the Polish butcher had managed 120 links and the German managed 121.
Naturally, the German butcher won, because he went a frank further.
So three nuns have passed and are at the pearly gates..
When they arrive, Gabriel is there and says "Each of you must answer a question correctly to enter heaven."
His question to the first nun was "What was the name of the first woman?" and she replies "Eve!" And of course thats right, so on she goes.
His question to the second nun was "Where did Eve live when God created her?" to which she replies "Eden, of course." Another correct answer and on she goes as well.
His third question to the last nun was a bit trickier as she was a nun for the longest. "What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?" The nun mumbles "Oooh, thats a hard one.."
So in to heaven she went as well.
A woman is reading Cosmo ...
A man boards a plane and sits down next to an attractive blonde woman reading Cosmo. He asks if she found any interesting articles. She goes on to say she just read about the world's greatest lovers. She tells him that Germans last longest in bed, the French are the best kissers, and Native Americans give the best back massage. She looks up from her magazine, smiles and asks the man his name. He stutters for a minute and blushes "err my name is umm ... Hans-Jacques-Running Bear".
There was a contest to see who can...
...stand in a room with a decaying goat carcass the longest. There were 4 contestants representing their respective countries: an American, an Englishman, a Russian and a Chinese man.
The contest was held in front of a capacity crowd of 500,000 people of different nationalities and all walks of life. The minimum time was 5 hours and the goat carcass has been in that room for 2 weeks, without any proper ventilation.
The American went in first and was able to stay for 1 hour and 12 minutes. The Englishman went in and stayed for a bit longer, 1 hour and 15 minutes. The Russian beat them both with 2 hours and 35 minutes. The Chinese man went in and retreated after 27 minutes. The judges were hoping for someone to at least last the 5 hours so they asked for random volunteers from the audience. And Indian man stood up and accepted the challenge.
The Indian man went in the room and after a few seconds, the goat went out of the room.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual s**... Studies Convention in Chicago".
He swallowed hard.
Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about s**... studies!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality.
"Really," he gulped,"like what?"
"Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern r**...."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."