Long Story Jokes
136 long story jokes and hilarious long story puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about long story that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Long Story Short Jokes
Short long story jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The long story humour may include short bad story jokes also.
- I was reading a book when my 5yo cousin asked "why is that book so thick?" Then i told him "its a long story"
- I asked a girl to come back to my place and as she was looking through my books... She asked, "How come you've got so many copies of 'War and peace'?"
I replied, "It's a long story..." - I was at the gym the other night, I found a hole in my trainer big enough to put my finger in. Long story short, she filed a complaint and I'm banned for life.
- My son was watching me read War and Peace , and asked me, Why is the book so thick? I said, Well, ..it's a long story.
- Gf tells me "to make love like to me like they do in the movies".. Long story short..Im due in court soon. Guess we don't watch the same kind of movies.
- How do winter solstice enthusiasts stay entertained during the long night? They gather around a bonfire and swap stories of winter magic.
- A man walked into a copy shop, and requested that they print a book for him with pages 30 feet long and 1 foot wide. Printer: "Why do you need pages that long?"
Man: "Well, it's a long story." - Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher. So long story short, happy fathers day to me.
- A man over heard my conversation about GameStop stock and asked me what'a this fuss all about? I said, Do you want the long or the short story?
- People have often asked me why I wanted to become a film editor. Well, to cut a long story short...
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Long Story One Liners
Which long story one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with long story? I can suggest the ones about short story and story based.
- How long does it take to reach the ground from 110 stories up? The rest of your life.
- Why is the book so thick? Long story
- A little boy asked his dad, "why is the book so thick?" "It's a long story son."
- "Daddy, why is that book so big?" "It's a long story..." :D
- My dad has the heart of a lion Long story short he is no longer allowed in a zoo
- To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- I got sent to court over a missing tuxedo Long story short, I lost the lawsuit as well
- Why did you tear up that novel? Well, to make a long story short…
- A writer was prosecuted for a short story he wrote They gave him a long sentence.
- What do you call a priest's sermon that takes too long? The Reverending Story
- Why do lizards like long stories? Because they dragon.
- Did you hear the story about the cow that appears to have 5 legs? It's a long tail.
- Why are dragons such good story tellers? Because they have long tails
- A clown just held the door for me... ...Long story short, I thought it was a nice jester.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Long Story Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about long story you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean love story jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make long story pranks.
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time.
The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.
Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
When a guy thinks that older women are more into him than they actually are...
Is it an example of the Dunning-Cougar effect?
Did you hear the story about the giraffe? Forget it its too long.
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance. Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a little head.......
After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, "hey, I don't mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head."
The guy replies, "well it's a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on an deserted island."
He continued, "after several months on this deserted island, a beautiful mermaid suddenly appeared and granted me three wishes."
"My first wish is that I'd like to be rescued from this island I told her."
To which the Mermaid said, "tomorrow a rescue boat will find you."
"My second wish is that I'd like to be rich for the rest of my days."
The Mermaid said, "invest early in these companies, and you will be a wealthy man...and what is your final wish?"
"Well Mermaid, you know I've been stranded on this island for so long, and seeing as you are so beautiful, I'd wish for nothing more than to sleep with you."
The Mermaid sighed and said, "I cannot grant you that wish, you see I'm a half fish, it would not work."
Frustrated, the man said, "Well how about a little head then?"
(it's a long story)A farmer sees a stranger walking down the road...
A farmer sees a stranger walking down the road. In a few minutes the man comes back and hails the farmer. He says "I see you have some Honeysuckle growing down the road. I was wondering if you had an old jar that I can collect the honey in?"
The farmer is confused and says "Well you can have a jar, but you won't get honey from a Honeysuckle."
The man replies "If you know how you can."
So the farmer gives him the jar. Soon he comes back to show the farmer and, sure enough, the jar is full of golden honey.
A few days later the stranger comes by again. He says "I see you have some Milkweed growing along the road. Would you have a bucket I can collect some milk in."
The farmer laughs and says "That was a good trick with the honey, but you can't get milk from a Milkweed."
The man replies "If you know how you can."
The farmer gives him the bucket and soon enough he comes back with the pail full of milk.
A week later the stranger comes by again.
He says to the farmer "I see you have some Pussywillows growing.."
The farmers interrupts with "Wait'll I get my hat!"
p**...'s 18th birthday
p**... had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when p**...'s 18th birthday came around, he and his pal m**..., took a boat out to the middle of the lake, p**..., stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned!
m**... just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, p**... went to see his grandmother.
"Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him "
Granny looked deeply into p**...'s, troubled blue eyes and said,
"Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!"
Need help finding a joke.
The question is ' What happens at the police station at closing time? ', And I believe the joke is physics related. Its a long story to explain why I need the punchline, but my physics teacher asked me to find it.
Accidentally wore a red shirt and khaki pants to Target today...
Long story short, I think I got promoted to Assistant Manager.
A foreign dignitary visiting Russia...
was invited to have dinner with Catherine the Great. After a few glasses of wine the man asked the Empress "Your majesty I probably shouldn't ask you this but I've been hearing stories lately and I must know, Are the rumors true?"
The woman's face turned bright red "I don't know where people come up with these things," she told the man quickly."I would never have s**... with a horse."
The man sat for a moment clearly embarrassed and after a long uncomfortable silence said "So Russia is not going to invade Poland?"
The Old Man and the b**... (long joke)
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male b**... sitting at the water's edge.He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."Miraculously, two shots rang out and the b**... fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said , "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that b**...."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly!"
Long Lost Twins
There's this story on CNN running about these two long lost twins that found each other on Google!
Did ya hear about it?
The o**... down in Mexico, I think, was doing that family tree thing and found out that he had a twin, Ehmal, was taken as a baby with his mother back to the middle east! And these two found each other!
Well the reporter on the CNN kept trying to run the story but for some reason Ehmal was like this anti-computer guy or something cuz he couldn't get a decent picture to the reporter!
They got faxes of pictures that were too dark and phone calls and such but no decent pictures. Frustrated she goes to her producer with the problem, wondering what she should do. Guy scratched his head, thought about it for a while and you know what he said?
Well.... If you seen Juan, you seen Ehmal.
Topical Jokes (5/21)
Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.
First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.
More movie news, the trailer for the new "X-Men" flick shows that Wolverine will potentially face grave injury. The harrowing injury comes about when our hero forgets to retract his claws before wiping.
This is a cool story, a US Airways flight safely made a belly landing at Newark Airport. The plane was evidently taken down by heavy turbulence originating from Governor Christie's farts at a nearby Long John Silver's.
TV news, ESPN has been forced to take major layoffs and budget cuts. You can tell things are getting cheap as now the only athletic event they now can afford to cover is Tiger Woods dodging heels thrown by his exes.
In the political sector, Vice President Biden recently ribbed the president for always using a teleprompter. However, nobody seemed to ridicule Biden when he read his recent speech on healthcare reform off the back of a h**... napkin.
And finally, the new Xbox will utilize "the cloud" - so no matter where you are in the world, at any time, you can look up the fact that you lost a brave Call of Duty battle to a 13 year-old user named "GeneralFatPenis69".
Thanks for reading again, folks. I really appreciate it!
Did you hear about the kid born without eyelids?
Yeah, apparently a baby boy was born without eyelids just last week! Obviously that was a problem and the child's sight wouldn't last long unless the doctors acted quick, so they decided to take a skin graft from the boy and use it to protect his eyes. The most logical solution for the quick thinking doctor was to use the child's f**..., since he would probably be circumcised anyways.
Those are about all the details I know from the story, but I guess the baby is doing ok. The doctor said he would be fine, and should keep his eyesight, he just might end up a little c**...-eyed.
How little stefan got a brand new watch..
Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story," I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parent's bedroom.
I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didn't tell the family. I asked for a new watch and here it is."
Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents' bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some b**... and groaning from the other side of the door.
She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Jenny immediately says, "I want a watch."
The dad sighs and says, "Alright, but go and stand in the corner and don't make any noise . "
Brooke Gladstone told this on "On The Media" today. Told it to several people and no one else thought it was nearly as funny as I did except for my brother and my wife.
Okay. So a guy is going down the street and he sees his friend. He hasn't seen him for I don't know how long. And he has this big orange head. And, and he goes up to him and he goes, hey, what's with the big orange head? And he goes, you know, it's a funny story. I was, I was in an antique shop and I found this lamp and I, I rubbed it and a genie came out, it gave me three wishes. And so, I wished for a gorgeous house and, and you see behind me this huge mansion. Yeah, it's really nice. That's the house. And then I wished for a beautiful wife, and, and you see that really lovely blonde coming down the street. That's my wife! And, and then here's where I think I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.
So this Jewish rabbi
is tired of where he lives. He lives in New York City and everyday he hears stories about crime and sees drug deals and people getting mugged. One day he has finally had enough, and he packs up his things and leaves. He goes to the airport and tells the clerk to give him a random ticket to anywhere. He flies for a long time and arrives to the land of Sneed where are the people are called Snids. Things are going great until a week after he got there and he sees this giant ogre giving all the Snids in the land of Sneed a good kick. This continues and one day the rabbi goes over to the ogre and says "Mr. ogre why don't you kick me? I live here too and i think we should all be treated equally." The ogre responds, "SILLY RABBI! KICKS ARE FOR SNIDS!"
I spent last night shouting at my psychiatrist
Long story short he's convinced I have delusions of being a pony... I'd tell you more, but I'm a little hoarse.
Did I ever tell you about the time I had a f**... that lasted for an entire minute?
It's a long-winded story.
What to Wear
A man, called to an audit by the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. 'Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.'
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. 'Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.'
Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. 'Let me tell you a story,' replied the rabbi. 'A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most s**... negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.'
The man protested: 'What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?' The rabbi responded: "'No matter what you wear, you are going to get s**..."
So I was having s**... with a girl from work...
She wasn't really into it, and then to make matters worse my boss walked in on us.
Long story short, I lost my job at the morgue.
Why Floyd Mayweather can't get his daughter to go to bed
Floyd's daughter: Hey Daddy, can i stay up and watch TV?
floyd mayweather: No it's past your bedtime and you're suppose to go to sleep
Floyd's daughter: Well can you at least read me a bedtime story until i fall asleep?
Floyd Mayweather: Fine you can watch TV as long as you want
Long story short...
Haikuhair told a funny story. Everyone must laugh.
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
Funny Story
As the coals from our barbecue burned down...
... our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.
All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly.
They glared at us with looks of disgust.
Suddenly, we realized why.........we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them...
It's Thanksgiving today. Long story short it's where Americans give thanks to the English for inventing them. You're welcome.
A man was writing a book with over 1,000 pages.
It's too long of a story to explain why.
I think my friend's new bowl is really a colander
He told me a long story about how he uses it for mixing, but it doesn't hold water.
Graduation unlike before
2 Asian kids graduated from High School. The school had never witnessed this phenomena, but both of them were #1 in their class. Long story short the parents couldn't be happier....it was a Nguyen, Nguyen for them.
Birthday Party
My friend's college mentor told her this story:
"So, my friend turned 32 last week, and we wanted to do something for his birthday so we put together a really quick party, only about half a minute long, and when the party ended, he was really confused and asked about the length of the party."
It was his thirty second birthday.
I was at the pub the other day, when 2 fat chicks walk in and sit next to me
Thought of being polite, I said 'Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?'
One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said 'it's Wales you idiot'
So I immediately said 'Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?'
Long story short, anyone know how to deal with black eyes fast?
I'd had enough. I decided to kill my wife.
But I couldn't do it myself, so I asked around. I eventually heard of a big guy named Arty who kills people for $1. All you have to do is give him a picture and place of work. I found him, gave him the dollar and a picture of my wife.
"She works at Walmart", I said.
He just shook his head, got up, and left. Just like that. I wasn't there, but people say he grabbed her by the t**... and started choking her. It wasn't long before a security guard rushed over. Arty was so big he grabbed both of them. One neck per hand. And killed them both.
It's hard to believe but it's true. They even ran a story about it in the local paper. "Arty chokes 2 for $1 at Walmart".
Long story short...
Frodo does it
I met a disgruntled farmer in the pub today
You look disgruntled, I said. What's the story?
I ordered a couple of tons of manure, he replied gloomily. It arrived today.
Is that bad?
Well, you see, it was fake.
Fake?
Yes, fake manure.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
Well, it is. And it's useless for farming.
U'm sorry to hear that.
After a long pause, he spoke again. But on the bright side, my hair is insanely soft.
What's that got to do with anything? I asked, puzzled.
Well, it's all thanks to the sham p**....
Long story
Short, we did it.
Dave worked at a circus school...
Normally, he teaches kids how to juggle or do cartwheels but it wasn't all that interesting.
One day, he decides to teach the kids something a bit more exciting so he brought in a cannon.
Long story short - he was fired.
Did you know that my alcoholic friend only weighs two pounds?
Long story short, my bud light.
I was on a date last night, as I sat at my table, forking my food awaiting my date to arrive, I realized they had stood me up, and I had to foot the bill. Long story short......
Don't ever date a leg
A group of friends all live on the 200th floor of a building
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
I was having a quick rest at the gym last night
when i noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to fit my finger in, to cut a long story short, she complained and now I have to find another gym.
I asked my dad how I was born
Me: Dad, how was I born ?
Dad: It's a really long story
Me: (all excited) Tell me..I wana hear it
Dad: Once upon a time, it was a cold night and all the pharmacies were closed....
Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: sure, why not! So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
**Moral of the story**: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
I came walking in from the kitchen, and asked my niece for the phone book.
She laughed and called me an antique, then proceeded to give me her phone.
Long story short, the spider's dead, and she's in the living room crying.
I wanted to name our kid Jonathan but my wife insisted we name him something funny
Long story short i now have a kid named Something Funny Smith
So this guy and this psychic were having s**......
Long story short, she saw it coming.
My girlfriend asked me how my diet was going
I told her using more s**... as an incentive has been really effective thus far.
She responded quizzically, saying, we haven't been having more s**... than usual.
So, long story short, my girlfriend dumped me when she found out when I have been doing on my cheat days.
The Little Horse: An Inspirational Children's Story
[Parents, read this to your kids. I expect to see results. The last part is funnier with a long pause and not adding anything onto it, including context. I have no idea where I heard this one, but let me just say that while the concept is not mine, I did a whole lot of tweaking. Just a warning, it's super long, but it is meant to keep your interest as long as possible, so it's almost a legit story.]
An old mountaineer and his ex-wife...
were fighting over custody of their kids. The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them. The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
This guy walks into a bar
Asks the bartender for a drink then pulls out a small piano and a man about a foot tall. The little man sits at the piano and begins playing a beautiful Beethoven sonata.
Amazed, the bartender asks to find out the story behind this mini musician.
The man tells the bartender that he was on vacation in Costa Rica and after a long night of partying he decided to talk a walk on the beach. While walking, the man trips over something in the sand. He pulls it out and dusts it off. Immediately after dusting, a genie pops out and says you may have 1 wish, anything you'd like.
Before the man could continue, the bartender interrups and says "so you wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
To make a long story short,
Make it feel insecure about itself.
Woman Saved by Ugly man
Ugly guy walks into a bar with a huge smile on his face.
***Bar keep*** asks him 'what are you so happy about?'
***Ugly guy*** says 'Well I was walking home and I found this woman tied to the train tracks, I untie her and we go back to my place. We do it every way imaginable, all night long!'
***Bar keep*** says 'Wow that's some story! What did she look like?'
***Ugly guy*** says 'I dunno, never found the head'
I fell in love with a cucumber farmer.
We had many good years together but then, as these things do, it turned sour.
Long story short: I'm in a bit of a pickle.
I knew a guy who had his left arm and left leg cut off...
To cut a long story short I'm in jail and he is dead
I finally know the moral of the story "beauty and the beast"...
As long as you're rich and have a nice house, a girl will eventually fall for you.
I bumped into an old school friend today
He was going on and on about how expensive his new car was.
So long story short my insurance rates are going up.
A little girl was sitting on her granddad's lap while he read her a story. She kept taking her eyes of the book and reaching up and touching his old, wrinkled face.
After a few times doing this, she finally asked, "Grandpa, were you made by God?"
"Yes, dear." he replied. "I was made by God a long time ago."
The little girl paused for a moment and then asked, "And did God make me?"
"Of course, dear." replied her grandfather. "God made you not long ago."
The girl felt her own face and then her granddad's again, thought for a moment and then said, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
An architect knows
How to make a long story short.
My friend told me the doctor flossed his teeth for him after the prostate exam.
Long story short, he really needs to find a new dentist
Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?
Me: Because your mom loves roses.
Son: What about me?
Me: It's a long story, FIFA World Cup™ Russia 2018.
The 16-yo son returns home at 10am the next day..
.. The Father asks angrily: "Son, where have you been for such a long time?"
Son replies: "Dad, I'm not a v**... anymore!"
The father in relaxed tone: "Son, sit down and tell me the whole story".
The son replies: "Telling the story OK, but sitting NO!"
When I was younger I used to have these little plastic cut outs for drawing around.
I'd do them all the time, almost compulsively, but there would always be more. I'd spend hours and never run out. Then I realised, I'd never be done, I'd never accomplish anything because there would always be more and long after I stopped or died they'd be there.
Anyway that's the story of my first extra stencil crisis.
Was "Solo: A Star Wars Story" a good movie? Short answer: No!
Long answer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I love Star Wars.
Headline
Long detailed story with certain words
Punchline
I would tell you guys a long-winded tale involving the singers of "It Wasn't Me" and "Drop It Like It's Hot"...
...but I don't think you guys would have time to read yet another Shaggy/Dogg story.
A horse was in a horrific accident.
I'm too tired to write the whole story.
Basically, the bartender goes, "Hey, pal. Why such the long face?"
Girl goes on a date. Afterwards her friend asks "how was it?" She says "well long story short..."
Her friend says "sorry, that always s**...".
Me and my girlfriend were fooling around...
Me and my girlfriend were fooling around in bed the other night, long story short my new name is Jeffrey d**.....
What made you become an editor?
Well to cut a long story short......
What do you call narrator's favorite pair of pants?
Long story shorts.
Today I took the only water bottle that wasn't frozen to class.
Long story short, which one of my friends left a water bottle full of v**... in my car ?
My wife saw I was reading a really thick book, so she asked what it was-
I told her it's a long story.
The story of my username
It was a cold August night. The inky black harbor was quiet, almost too quiet. As a walked down the cobblestoned steps a breeze sent a chill down my back. Fog clouded my vision, but as I boarded my modest little steamer I could see so clearly in my mind, an image. I tried to rid my mind of this thought, but the more I tried the harder it became. On the dock I was, and very close to dock was what thought was in my head. So I thought of the unintelligible nonsense Ramavian_Zola, which, to this day, I use to clearly my mind of those thoughts that are so hard and plague my mind for so long, and so e**... in my head.
I was sat opposite a girl yesterday, for the life of me I couldn't remember her name.
I decided to just be honest and tell her, "I'm sorry but what was your name again".
"Jessica" she said. "Do you have trouble remembering girls names" she added in a wry way.
"Only the ugly ones" I blurted out.
Anyway to cut a long story short I didn't get the job.
My coming out story:
A long time ago I was a boy trapped in a woman's body
9 months later I was born
