Long Nose Jokes
53 long nose jokes and hilarious long nose puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about long nose that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Long Nose Short Jokes
Short long nose jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The long nose humour may include short large nose jokes also.
- Why couldn't Pinocchio's nose ever grow to be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot
- Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? ...Because then it would be a foot!
(Yes, I stole this joke from a kid who told it to me) - Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot! - What happened after the blonde ran to meet her long lost twin sister? She got seven years of bad luck for breaking her nose on the mirror.
- Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot! - Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender says, Thank God this joke is not as long as your nose!
- Do you know why the Statue of Liberty's nose is 11 inches long? Because one more and it would be a foot!
- Tounges Some have it long
Some have it short
Some can even touch their nose with it
Some can even give good BJ experiences - Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long?
A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot. - Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!
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Long Nose One Liners
Which long nose one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with long nose? I can suggest the ones about long neck and long face.
- Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Then it'll be a foot.
I'm so sorry. - Why can't a nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot.
~*Badum tss*~ - Why can't a nose be 12 long? Because then it'd be a foot.
I already regret this one - Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Cause then it would be a foot silly
- Why can't your nose be more than 12 inches long? Because it would be a foot.
- Why can't our nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot.
- TIL Your nose can't be more than 30cm long Otherwise it would be a foot.
- Why cant a nose be 12 inches long? Because it's not a foot.
- For goodness sake you've had your nose in that book all day long, why? I lost my bookmark
- ''Doctor, my nose is 11 inches long!"
''Come back when it grows into a foot!" - Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot, budum tsss
- What do you call the long part of your nose? The hypotenose
- Why does the Jews have long nose? Because the air is free.
- It has a long nose and looks like a phone Pinokia
Cheerful Fun Long Nose Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about long nose you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean long necked jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make long nose pranks.
There once was a big, strong bull...
There once was this big, strong bull. Had a ring in his nose, big horns and he went by the name of Hannibal. He had a field to himself with green grass, small dandelions and a fence. One day, the farmer brings some pretty cute cows and puts them in the field next to Hannibal.
So the bull walks up to the barbed wire and checks out the pretty ladies on the other side. He knows that he would like to get to know them a bit better - if you know what I mean - , but there is this fence between them. So he waits until the farmer leaves, takes a long run and jumps over the fence into the other field.
The cows look all startled and giggle: "O my, Hannibal... how did you get in here?"
He winks: "Just call me Hanni, honey... The rest I left hanging in the barbed wire."
- Sorry for the English, it is not my first language.
The Kuala and the Lizard
So this Koala is sitting in a tree smoking a spliff. Small lizard walks by and ask the Koala what he's doing. Koala says "Having a spliff man, come up and have a few puffs..."
So up the lizard goes, but after a few drags he's thirsty. Koala says "No problem little dude, just little bit down the road there's a river, go have a drink."
So off the lizard goes, but when he gets to the river he is so s**... he falls into the river onto the crocodiles nose. Crocodile squints at the lizard, says " Hey man, what's up with you, why you falling all over the place?"
Lizard says "Man you won't believe this but there's a Koala in the tree smoking a spliff, I had a few drags now I'm s**....
Crocodile, thinks, heck I've got to go see this. So he puts the lizard down and goes to look for the Koala. Doesn't take long he finds him. So he shouts to the Koala, " Hey Koala, what you doing up there...?"
Koala looks down at him and frowns and says " Sjees dude, how much water did you drink...?!
How to make a hard-nosed woman laugh and then cry?
It's a Chinese joke. very long time ago, there was a couple, the wife was a hard-nosed woman, who never laughed and was emotionless. One day the husband said to his bosom friend: if you can make my wife laugh and then cry, I give five bucks. The guy accept it, and went out. The woman was standing on the doorway, a dog by her side. This guy went straight to the dog, kneeled and said: "Dad" The woman laugh madly, then the guy kneeled down before the woman and said, "mom". She then was furious and cried also madly.
The Native Indian and the Lone Ranger.
One day the Native Indian and the Lone Ranger are out hunting. It's not long before the Native Indian decides to show the Lone Ranger how his people hunt and so puts his ear to the ground.
"Deer come" says the Native Indian, and not a second later a deer comes bounding through the grass past them. The Lone Ranger is obviously impressed and asks how he did it. The Native Indian taps the side of his nose.
Not long after the Native Indian puts his ear to the ground and says "Hare come", and not a second later a hare bounds out of the bushes past them. The Lone Ranger, once again impressed, asks how he does it. The Native Indian looks at him knowingly.
After a few minutes of walking the Native Indian once again puts his ear to the ground and says "buffalo come". But no buffalo appears. The Lone Rangers asks the Native Indian if he's sure. The Native Indian replies
"Yes. Ear is sticky".
Close enough
Teacher ask the class , which animal lives in India and Africa with a long nose and loves water, a kid answers the Hippopotamus.
The elephant , close enough but i like the way you think.
He asks again,which animal lives in Africa has a long neck and feathers?
A kid answers giraffe!
the ostrich, close enough, but i like the way you think.
Little Johny raises his hand , the teachers asks him what?
I have something in my pants, long with a round red head.
You are expelled from class!
Close enough,it's a Match, but i like the way you think.
A man goes to his doctor because he noticed that his farts no longer smell...
The doctor is confused, so he instructs the man to rip one right in his office.
The man is embarrassed but he does what the doctor tells him to do.
The doctor gets a concerned look on his face and walks out of the room.
After about 5 minutes, the doctor walks back in holding a long pole with a hook on the end of it.
The man is frightened and he yells out, "JESUS CHRIST, WHAT'S THAT THING FOR!?!"
The doctor then replies, "I'm opening all the windows in here. There's nothing wrong with your farts, your nose isn't working!"
Divining rod
Ivan, a man living in rural Russia, was quite well known in his community for success in locating groundwater for wells. He utilized a divining rod, but in quite an abnormal way--rather than holding it in his hands he balanced it on his nose, walking whichever way it leaned until it finally fell. Wherever it landed, they dug, and they found water every time. The story made its way to the US and it wasn't long before a journalist was on her way to interview Ivan. "What is your secret?" the journalist asked. "Secret? Is not so special..." Ivan replied, "I get up every morning and eat a well-balanced breakfast."
Do you think h**... got his inspiration from Hansel and Gretel?
They did shove a long nosed witch into an oven.
Why is Bernie Sanders seems like having a long nose?
because AIR IS FREE
In the beginning of time
Adam was taking a n**... stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals. He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears. He said "I think I'll call you Elephant." The elephant replied "How do you breathe through that thing?!"
Mr Johnson walked into a doctor's office and said, "My farts never smell."
"Okay", said the doctor. "f**... for me." So Mr. Johnson gave a very loud f**....
The doctor left the office and came back with a very long pole with a hook on the end.
Mr. Johnson was terrified. "What are you gonna do with that thing?" he asked.
"I'm going to open the window," said the doctor. "You see, the problem is with your nose."
A Psychic's advice
A woman went to a psychic and found out she was going to live to be 100!
She figured if she was going to be around that long, she may as well look her best. She got the works! Face lift, b**... job, nose job and looked amazing!
After her final procedure she got hit by a bus and died.
Upon arriving at heaven she cried and cried! "I was supposed to have 40 more years!"
God said "Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize you."
A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "My farts never smell."
"Very interesting," says the doctor. "Can you demonstrate for me?" So the guy lets out a very loud f**....
"I think I know what the problem is," says the doctor. He goes to his closet and gets a very long stick with a hook on the end.
"Hold it!" says the patient. "What are you going to do with that thing?"
"I'm just going to open the window," says the doctor. "And by the way, I think the problem is with your nose."
Christian theologians have long maintained that Jesus is both human and divine simultaneously. A recent squabble has divided them over the subject of His nostrils. I know which side I'm on
I'm going with the God-only-nose crowd
