The Best 60 Long Hair Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Long Hair jokes. There are some long hair lengths jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these long hair shortest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Long Hair Jokes and Puns

Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"

Mom: "Because he never lies."

Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."

If it took a baby that long to exit the womb, as it is taking the UK to exit the EU...

Baby's head would be so large that scientists would come to its house and do experiments on it. The head would be primarily bone, almost 99%, and weigh upwards of 85 pounds. It would be a 16 pound baby, carried by its mom to full term plus eight months, born at 17 months, with full head of hair, and a full head of teeth.

A blonde movie star is pulled over......

The cops walks up to the car and says "driver's licence please". The blonde says "What's a driver's licence?" The cop impatiently responds, "It's that square thing with your picture on it". "Oh!," exclaims the Blonde and she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the cop. As the cop looks at it, she scratches her head revealing long flowing golden hair*. She then hands it back and says, "Sorry for the inconvenience, I didn't realize you were a cop."

Long Hair joke, A blonde movie star is pulled over......

What am I?

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind and I return to my original position. Cleaning is normally done after I have finished. What am I? Why, I am your very own toothbrush!

You know what I dread?

The long hair of Jamaicans


Texas: The Miracle State

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

"Say, is this really a healthy place?"

"It sure is," the man replied.

"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

A son asks his father

"Dad I'm sick of having to walk to school, can you please help me buy my first car".

The father replies

"Not until you cut your long hair".

The son remarks

"But dad Jesus had long hair".

The father then said

"And Jesus walked everywhere".

Long Hair joke, A son asks his father

My buddy has big news...

He comes to me one day and says "Dude, you'll never believe it, I'm banging twins."

"That's awesome" I reply "but how can you tell them apart?"

"Easy" he says "Marys got long blonde hair and Steves got a moustache."

How long is your hair?

I'm not sure, I've never measured it.

But off the top of my head, I'd say four inches.

A musician dies and goes to heaven

there he sees an old guy with long white hair and a beard swinging his arms and gesticulating like crazy.

"Who's that?" he asks.

"Oh, him" Saint Peter sighs "That's God. He's turned crazy. Megalomanical! He thinks he's Herbert von Karajan!"

Moses was the first hippie.

He was a guy who came from the hills with long hair and sandals, and he brought with him tablets that made everybody feel good.

You can explore long hair bald reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean long hair hairs dad jokes. There are also long hair puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

I usually hate having long hair

But I think it's growing on me.

sex with twins

Two guys are at a bar. One of them looks to the other and says, "I had the best time last night. I had sex with twins!" The other asks, "How could you tell them apart?" "Well, Jessica had long, beautiful, blonde hair, and Alex had a goatee.

A teenager had just passed his drivers test, and he asked his dad to buy him a car

"Dad, will you be able to get me a car?" Asked the boy

"I suppose a car would be in order *if* you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.

After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy.
"I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"

"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that *Jesus* may have had long hair!"

The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"

During dinner, Juan asked his mother....

Mamma, why is dad bald?

Well Juan, your father has a lot to think about and is very intelligent, that's why.

But mamma, why do you have such a long hair?

Shut UP Juan and eat your soup!

Long Hair joke, During dinner, Juan asked his mother....

A teenager got his driver's license...

...and asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.

The father said, "If you bring your grades up, study the Bible, and get a haircut, then you can use the car."

One month later, the teenager asked his father about using the car again. The father said, "Son, I'm proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied the Bible every day. But you still haven't gotten a haircut!"

His son said, "Dad, in my studying of the Bible, I found that many great people had long hair. Samson had long hair. Moses, Noah, and John the Baptist had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair."

His father said, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"

Jesus was a hippie

He had sandals, long hair and he died hugging a tree

someone asked me if i liked having long hair...

i told them i didn't at first but it kinda grew on me.


Wanna hear a pun about long hair?

Rapunzel.

Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush?

She kept looking for it in Alderaan places.

My hair is so long, it started growing it's own hair.

Don't take that too seriously, it's metafollicle.

On the train in Bangkok....

...a young, long-haired, busty Thai sat down directly opposite me & started putting on lipstick.

I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection."

But he did.

My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!

I asked how he could tell which one is which.

He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.

And Brian has a cock.'

My friend told me that my hair was getting pretty long

I said it was growing on me

Boy wants a car from his Dad

the Dad says, "first you gotta cut that hair."

Boy says, "but Dad, Jesus had long hair"

and Dad says
"that's right son, and Jesus walked everywhere"

(credit goes to the band The Silver Jews)

NSFW Sex joke: New sex position called the bull rider.

Ride a girl doggy style, grab her hair, and whisper in her ear "I have aids".

See how long you can last.

Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald

"Because he always spoke the truth"

"Oh! That's why woman have long hair"

I don't like having long hair...

...but it's kind of growing on me

My friend came back from vacation with long hair...

... and I wanted to make a joke about it, but I couldn't *comb* up with one.

People think that having long hair and bangs is emo.

I think its more appropriate to cut it.

After growing out my hair, i now understand why women take so long in the bathroom

Apparently they get too busy searching for long-haired peeping toms

Why is it that some people don't like having long hair?

I don't know, but it grows on them eventually

Son: Dad may I borrow you car?

Dad: Only if you get a haircut.

Son: But dad, Abraham had long hair, Moses had long hair, & even Jesus had long hair.

Dad: They walked too.

I was just boasting at work about how I'm currently sleeping with a set of twins...

All the lads were very impressed but one asked;
"How do you tell them apart?"
"Easy", I said, "Michelle has long blonde hair and Dave has a moustache."

What do you call a long haired stoner that does the things he tells others not to do?

A hippie-crite!

I understand now why women have long hair

If I had to pay as much for a haircut, I'd put it off too.

I was sleeping with two twins for while in my 20s....

My friends all asked, "how can you tell them apart?" I replied, "well...Sharon has long blonde hair, and Derek has a beard."

So yesterday I wore a costume....

I am a male and I wore a see through shirt and pants. I completed my ensemble with a stuffed bra, long haired wig and lipstick. I pushed a baby doll around all night in a stroller holding the baby bottle....

I was a transparent transparent.

The man with the big feet lives in the red house, the man with the big ears in the green house, the man with the long hair in blue house, where does the man with the small wein live?

My house

What's a cowlick?

Dad: Son, your hair dresser does such a good job even with your cowlick as crazy as it is

Son: What's a cowlick?

Dad: Whatever it wants.

Son: what?

Dad: ...

My dad made this joke when I was around 10 and I didn't understand it until I was around 16...and I asked him about it every once in a while and he pretended he had no idea what I was talking about...really played the long con there....I can't wait for my kids to ask me about a cowlick...

Girlfriend broke up with me for being handsome with long hair...

On her way out she says, you're always lion . All I could do was nod in agreement.

As a man, I was unsure if I'd enjoy having long hair..

But it grew on me

Did you hear about what happened to everyone that went to the hair-coloring festival?

They all DYED!

I used to vehemently hate the prospect of having long hair,

But it's grown on me

Why do teachers hate boys with long hair?

Because they are infringing the school rules!

Yo mama so old

She knew John Lennon before he had long hair!

Do you know why ghosts always have long hair?

Because all the hair salons are closed at night.

My wife has got really long black hair running down her back

God, I wish it was on her head.

So, a horse walks into a bar...

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" And Ann Coulter just flips her hair around while trying to remember when her parents told her she was pretty.

What does a wife and a long-haired female dog have in common?

They both have hair all over the house.

I used to hate having long hair

But now it's growing on me.

The NHS has just revealed a list of long-term side effects of vaccines!

- Old age
- Grey hair
- General decrease of diseases

So my brother has been taking rill good care of his hair

After his hour long showers all my conditioner is gone

Hair dyes do not last more than a week

Paltu voted and asked the polling officer-
Paltu: Sir, will these fingerprints be washed off with water?
Officer: No.
Paltu: Then sir! Can it be washed with soap?
Officer: No.
Paltu: Then how long will it take, sir?
Officer: Will go after one year.
Paltu: Then give me a little more sir?
Officer: Why?
Paltu: I'll put it in my hair, sir. Nowadays hair dyes do not last more than a week.

As a physician I can not disclose if any of my patients have long hair, smoke cannabis or wear tie die clothes..

Because of hippie privacy regulations.

I should cut my long lockdown hair, but I just can't

It's really been growing on me

I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.

After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.

It was the Best Barber Queue ever!

Ugh... My hair has never been this long before, and all the salons are closed due to the pandemic. I wish I had emo hair...

...so it would cut itself.

My hairs been getting long lately, my family keeps telling me to cut it, but I dont know...

Its kinda been growing on me

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the long hair beard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working long hair conditioner piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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