Long Face Jokes
107 long face jokes and hilarious long face puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about long face that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Long Face Short Jokes
Short long face jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The long face humour may include short long nose jokes also.
- Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face? Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.
- A horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family." - A horse walks into a triangular bar of dimensions X,Y, and Z, where X and Z are perpendicular. He asks the barman where the toilets are. "Y, the long face."
- A horse walks into a bar and says, On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle? The bartender says, Y, the long face.
- I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
- A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" To which the horse replies "I have testicular cancer".
- Facing the consequences A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.
- A pony goes into a bar, and the bar tender asks him why the long face? I didn't make it into the men's choir.
Well, you are a little horse. - A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, why the long face?" "Because I have a crippling addiction to alcohol." says the horse.
- A horse walks into a bar. He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer.
The bartender says Why the long face?
The horse replies My alcoholism is destroying my family.
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Long Face One Liners
Which long face one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with long face? I can suggest the ones about long neck and long necked.
- Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar The bartender asked, "why the long face?"
- This never gets old A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face"
- A horse walks into a bar... And the bartender says to him "hey why the long face"
- The Cart Titan walks into a bar The bartender asks Why the long face?
- A long queue of people waiting to be hit in the face This is the punch line
- I saw a mustang by the bar today. I said "why the long face?"
- A Horse Walked Into The Bar... The Bartender says "Why The Long Face?"
- Modigliani walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
- A bartender says to a customer, "Why the long face?" The horse replied "Neigh."
- A Modigliani painting walks into a bar... The bartender asks: *Why the long face?*
- Man walks into a black hole and orders a drink. Bartender says why the long face?
- Whats approx 6" long and will always bring a smile to a woman's face ? A $100 note.
- A horse goes into an Irish Pub and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
- M y boss came in to work with a hoarse voice I asked why the long face...
- Ramsey How long is the lineup to punch Gordon Ramsey in the face ?
Long Face Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about long face you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean long head jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make long face pranks.
A man walks into a bar...
The bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death."
The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry I can't help you kill yourself."
The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?"
The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy."
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs out of the bar.
A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.
"Did you kill the guy?" The bartender asks nervously.
"Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please."
A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer.... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?
What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?'
Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
Yes,' he informed the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
So a horse walks into a bar...
...and the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
The horse looks up and responds, "I'm out of the job! Sarah Jessica Parker started doing her own stunts."
Pythagoras walks into a bar...
...muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'
The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
Mental institution
There's a mental institution, and they are having a
patient evaluation, to see if any patients need to be there
any longer. The doctor then goes around questioning the top three candidates.
He goes to the first patient and asks him , "What is 3 times 3?"
After an hour of scratching his head, and with a confused look on his face he replies, "Two-hundred!".
"That is incorrect." The doctor responds.
He then asks the next patient."What is 3 multiplied by 3?" After a long period of time the patient
responds, "Thursday!". "That is incorrect replies the doctor.
He then goes to the next patient and asks him, "What is 3 times 3?"
The patient quickly responds, "Nine!". The doctor then says "Correct!,
how did you figure that out?" The patient then responds, "I multiplied, 200 by Thursday and then
I added three!"
two blondes and a mirror
two blondes are walking along together when one of the pulls out her make up mirror, looking in to the mirror she says
"oh there is a face in there, wow that face looks familiar, where do I know that face from?"
Her friend grabs the mirror from her, has a long look and replies
"you idiot, that's me!"
Father, what causes arthritis?
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''
''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
A horse walks into a bar...
...and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
And the horse replies, "I'm finally starting to realize that my alcoholism is tearing my family apart,"
two atoms are talking..
"Hey Bob, why the long face?"
"I've just lost an electron."
"What, are you sure?"
"Yes..... I'm positive."
There is no bar.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "Why the long face?"
Horse says: "I'm a solipsist."
The bartender doesn't understand because he is a horse. Horses can't talk.
A long day at the hospital
After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:
- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist
A mule walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The mule replies, "Well, my mother was a horse, of course, of course. And no one can talk to a horse, of course. Which eventually led to divorce, of course. Of which there was no recourse, of course.
So without my father but with my mute mother, it took quite a long time for me to discover...
...I can't have kids"
Why the long face ?
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: why the long face ?
Horse: because I'm a r**... alcoholic.
A man is feeling horrible and goes to the doctor.
The doctor runs numerous tests that last for hours. Finally, he walks back in, a grim expression on his face.
"I have your results back," the doctor says, "and I'm afraid it's not good. I'm going to tell you this directly, you really don't have long to live."
The man is understandably stunned and struggles to find the right words. "I-I... how long do I have?"
The doctor sighs. "10."
There's a pause before the man speaks "Ten? Ten what? Ten weeks, ten months?"
"9."
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
Horse t**... up and says to mirror: "why the long face?" Mirror says "It's okay, I'm just a bit reflective today."
I'll be here all week folks.
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
So a horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse responds, "They wouldn't renew s**... and the City for another season."
A horse walks into a church...
Priest says, 'Why the long face?'
Horse replies, 'evolution'.
Emergency flashers
Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their n**... bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!
One, day little Johnny asks his father,
"Daddy where do i come from?"
The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.
"Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very much..."
After explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,
"Well son, does that answer your question?"
"Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy."
I've got a good joke to use on your friends (works better face to face)
You: I've got a knock knock joke, but you have to start.
Friend: Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
*confusion and bewilderment ensues*
It's funny to see how long it takes them to work out what happened.
A horse walks into a bar...
"Why the long face?" asks the bartender...
The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from s**... in the City."
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse unable to understand human speech promptly takes a dump on the floor and leaves
Rob Lowe, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Robert Downey Jr. Walk up to the bar at the Governors Ball....
The bartender looks at Sarah Jessica Parker and says "Why the long face?"
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender asks, "why the long face?"
The horse starts crying. In between the sobs, he says "it's not my fault I look like Sarah Jessica Parker!"
A Horse Walks into a Bar...
He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?"
The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face."
A horse walks into a bar...
The barman says "Why the long fac**e**?" The horse says "As an anthropomorphic horse, I fit in neith**e**r with humans nor my own kind, and have thus lived a life of lon**e**liness."
The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't got long to live!"
I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"
She said, "Record it and watch it later."
You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…
I was at McDonalds earlier today, just chilling when a really hot, girl walked up to me.
She grabbed me and took me to her car. She ripped my clothes off and starts s**... me as if she's dying of thirst. She s**... long and slobbery and I let out a huge load. She looked up with the face of satisfaction.
Then I realised I'm a straw.
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
"Because alcoholism has destroyed my life and my family. Let me get your rail whiskey."
A woman calls her husband
She asks him, "do you think my sister is prettier than me?"
There's a long pause.
Then the husband answers, no, honey, definitely not."
She replies, "then why did it take you so long to answer??"
He says, "I had to ask her to turn around so I could see her face."
Stay neglectful my friends
I adopted 3 kids recently and named them after my favorite beers; Bud Light, Miller Light, and Dos Equis. I work long days and am occasionally allowed to bring one child with me to the office. When faced with the decision of which child to take with me to work I always pick Dos Equis, because I don't always watch my kids but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender asks what's with the long face, the horse doesn't say anything because it's a horse, it doesn't understand English and it looks confused. It walks out the bar knocking over a few tables.
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the t**.... A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"
I don't think I am
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, why the long face? The horse morosely replies, my wife wants a divorce, she says I'm an alcoholic. The bartender asks if he is, and the horse answers, I don't think I am and promptly vanishes from existence. Now this is funny because it is a play on the phrase 'I think therefore I am' but to explain this before hand would be to put Descartes before the horse. (Joke from my mathematics professor)
I've been married for 20 years,
and I still carry a photo of my wife in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I stare at her picture, and it comforts me knowing that...
If I survived that long married to her, I can survive anything.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."
Woman Saved by Ugly man
Ugly guy walks into a bar with a huge smile on his face.
***Bar keep*** asks him 'what are you so happy about?'
***Ugly guy*** says 'Well I was walking home and I found this woman tied to the train tracks, I untie her and we go back to my place. We do it every way imaginable, all night long!'
***Bar keep*** says 'Wow that's some story! What did she look like?'
***Ugly guy*** says 'I dunno, never found the head'
An elderly man had a massive s**... and his family drove him to the hospital.
After a while, the doctor appeared wearing a long face.
Doctor: I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.
"Oh dear God," cried his wife, we've never had a liberal in the family before!"
A sad man at the bar
A man sat at a bar looking really depressed. Why the long face? asked the bartender
Well, my wife got mad at me and wouldn't speak to me for a month.
What! That's a blessing in disguise! You'll get peace and quiet for a whole month, said the bartender.
The problem is, replied the man, today's the last day.
In Need of a Pun
Alright, so I need help coming up with a spiderman-themed pun to ask a girl to Prom. I'm going to be holding a sign with the pun-loaded question while dressed as Spiderman. Help is greatly appreciated.
To keep the mods happy, I'll give you a joke:
A dyslexic bar walks into a man, bartender long face asks him "Why?"
A little girl was sitting on her granddad's lap while he read her a story. She kept taking her eyes of the book and reaching up and touching his old, wrinkled face.
After a few times doing this, she finally asked, "Grandpa, were you made by God?"
"Yes, dear." he replied. "I was made by God a long time ago."
The little girl paused for a moment and then asked, "And did God make me?"
"Of course, dear." replied her grandfather. "God made you not long ago."
The girl felt her own face and then her granddad's again, thought for a moment and then said, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
Cannabis is totally i**... in Saudi Arabia...
but you can still get s**...!
You can even drop acid...
As long as it's on a adulterer's face.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey why the long face?"
Then the horse says, "I am sad that I can no longer support myself with residuals from s**... And The City re-runs."
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face" the horse replies
"I have clinical depression"
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face?
The horse responds with my wife just died of cancer
A guy walks into a bar. The bartender is a horse.
He says, "Oh, hey Rene, you want the usual?". Rene says "Yeah sure. Why the long face?". The horse and bar disappear because they were never, in fact, real and the only thing that definitely did exist was Rene.
You see it's a joke about Rene Descartes, but if I told you that at the beginning I would be putting Descartes before De Horse
Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says "Why the long face?"
"Ha, ha, very funny," says the horse. "But I gotta say, today was not a good day. Injured my leg out, on the racetrack. My career's probably finished."
Bartender reaches under the bar, pulls out a gun, and shoots the horse.
Then he feels sorry for him, says "Tell ya what, buddy. That round is on the house."
These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages.
Luckily for me I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks: "Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't," he replied.
A man is feeling ill, so he goes to see a doctor.
The doctor runs some tests and returns with a grave face.
Doctor: I'm really sorry, but this is terminal. You don't have long to live.
Man: What? No! How could this happen? I have a wife and child! Tell me doc, how long do I have left?
Doctor: 10...
Man: Ten months? That's horrible! How will I tell my wife?
Doctor: 9...
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse, not being able to comprehend human language, s**... on the floor and leaves.
A Horse Walks into a Bar
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, Hey fellow, why the long face?
The horse, incapable of understanding the English language, s**... all over the floor and leaves.
I bumped into a guy in a supermarket yesterday.
He cursed me and told me not to walk like an idiot.
I told him, I'm sorry, but I haven't possessed a human body in a long time.
The look on his face was priceless.
A socially awkward loner finally landed a job as a mailman. When the people on his route saw a new face, they instinctively wanted to know who he was and he always gave the same response.
Long time lurker, first time poster.
A horse walks into a bar ...
The bartender says "why the long face?"
The horse, not understanding English, s**... on the floor and leaves.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, Why the long face?
The horse says, Because idiots keep eating up my dewormer medicine.
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Why the long f--" when suddenly the horse cuts him off.
"I've heard that a million times. 'Why the long face, haha!" I hear that everywhere I go."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," says the bartender. "Other than that, how's your
life?"
The horse responds with, "Stable."
A Horse Walks Into A Bar…
The Bartender says, Why the long face?
The Horse, not knowing the English language, s**... all over the floor and kicks the bartender with its back leg and leaves.
A Centaur walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him "So, why the long face?"
I'm half horse...the wrong half.
A Psychic's advice
A woman went to a psychic and found out she was going to live to be 100!
She figured if she was going to be around that long, she may as well look her best. She got the works! Face lift, b**... job, nose job and looked amazing!
After her final procedure she got hit by a bus and died.
Upon arriving at heaven she cried and cried! "I was supposed to have 40 more years!"
God said "Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize you."
A Racehorse walks into a bar...
The Bartender says, "Why the long face, your housing seems stable and your life seems on track?"
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have AIDS."
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender says why the long face? to which the horse responds my wife left and she took the kids … also I'm a horse
A bear walks into a bar...
The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear.
The bear immediately tells him, "You look exhausted."
"Yeah, it's been a rough day," says the bartender, "What are you drinking?"
"I'll have a glass of..." says the bear. He waits a painfully long moment before finishing, "... scotch."
"Why the long face?" asks the bartender.
"Don't you mean big pause?" asks the bear.
"Yeah, sorry. Like I said, it's been a rough day."