Lone Ranger Jokes

Following is our collection of lonesome humor and solo one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Lone Ranger puns for adults, dirty rangers jokes or clean hostile gags for kids.

There is an abundance of tonto jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 34 funniest jokes on lone ranger. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any loneliness witze you can hear about lone ranger.

The Best jokes about Lone Ranger

In his later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said I have some sad news.

Tell me, old friend said the faithful Tonto.

Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer

Bad spirits, replied his old companion.

The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?


Chemo, sabe




Ps this is my first joke post ever so I hope I did it right.

Tonto and the Lone Ranger

Chased by Injuns, the lone ranger and Tonto are galloping along when suddenly, Tonto stops, jumps down off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and listens. After a bit, he sits up and says 'BUFFALO COME!'

'how can you tell?' replies the lone ranger.

Tonto says 'Ear Sticky!'

The lone Ranger and Tonto

The lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses when Tonto falls off. He lands in a ditch. The lone Ranger walks up and says "Tonto are you ok"? Tonto puts his ear to the ground and remains quiet. The lone Ranger repeats himself and Tonto quiets him and says "buffalo come" the lone Ranger says " you can tell that by listening to the ground"? Tonto says "no, ground very sticky.

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, "Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"

Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Ear sticky!"

The Lone Ranger and his faithful American Indian sidekick Tonto are riding the plains.

The Lone Ranger and his faithful native American sidekick Tonto are riding the plains. It's midwinter and bitterly cold so the heroic duo enter a saloon for a warming drink.

The bartender takes one look at Tonto and shouts: "Get him outtahere. We don' serve no Injuns!"

Faithful Tonto agrees to wait outside while the Lone Ranger has a quick drink. To keep warm he decides to run around his horse.

Alas the drink proved too enticing for the Lone Ranger and poor Tonto was soon forgotten.

Eventually after a few hours, a cowboy sauntered in, looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Is that your horse outside?"

"Yes, why?" asked the Lone Ranger.

The cowboy answered, "You've left your Injun runnin'."


The Lone Ranger

Once, in the Wild, Wild West, the lone ranger was captured by an Indian tribe. The Chief of the tribe says, "I have heard of you, Lone Ranger. If you can impress me enough within three days, I will let you go free."

So, the Lone Ranger thinks hard for a few minutes and says, "May I have a minute alone with my horse?"

The Chief obliges him, and not 30 seconds later, the horse gallops out of the tent and runs away. The Chief is puzzled, but the Lone Ranger seems satisfied nonetheless. A few hours pass, but then the Lone Ranger's horse returns with an absolutely beautiful blonde girl, with whom the Lone Ranger spends the night.

The Chief is absolutely amazed, but not enough so to let the Lone Ranger go. So, the Lone Ranger asks to, again, hold council with his horse. And again, the horse gallops away, returning later with a redhead even more beautiful than the previous lady.

The next day, the Chief tells the Lone Ranger, although he is impressed, he is not going to let him go. So, the Lone Ranger asks to be left alone with his horse. After the tribe vacated the room, he whispers into the horse's ear very succinctly,

"Bring. Posse."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are on a ridge

And the lone ranger says: "Tonto! There's Indians to the North! And Indians to the West, Indians to the East and Indians to the South! What are we going to do?"

And Tonto goes: "What do you mean we, white man?"

Tonto and the Lone Ranger are walking up a mountain...

When all of a sudden they see a beautiful blonde coming down the mountain by horseback.

Tonto goes up to the woman and says, "Some"

The Lone Ranger looks at Tonto and says, "Tonto you idiot you're an Indian you are supposed to say HOW not SOME!!!"

Tonto Looks back at the Lone Ranger points at the woman and says, "No me know HOW, me want SOME."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stop in their persuit of some crooks to check for tracks. Tonto presses his ear to the ground, sits up slowly and says thoughtfully "Hmmmm...buffalo come".
Amazed the Lone Ranger asks "Wow! How did you know that?!"
Tonto replies "Ear stick to ground"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding through the prairie

When all of a sudden Tonto stops and puts his ear to the ground. The Lone Ranger says, "What are you doing Tonto?" Tonto says, Keemosabi, buffalo come!" The Lone Ranger then says, "How can you tell?" Tonto replies, Ear sticky."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert...

After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell YOU, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo. Someone stole tent."


So the Lone Ranger and Tonto are being chased by the bad guys...

To see if they're being closed in on Tonto puts his ear to the ground to listen for the sound of horse hooves.

"Kimosabe, no soldiers chasing us, buffalo come."

"How do you know that?"

"Ear sticky."

Tonto and The Lone Ranger we're riding their horses next to some train tracks..

They stop and hop off their horses. Tonto puts his ear onto the tracks and tells The Lone Ranger Buffalo come . The Lone Ranger says how do you know? . Tonto says my ear is stuck .

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains

When Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his ear to the ground.

Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, "What is it?"

Tonto said, "Buffalo come."

Lone Ranger asks, "How can you tell?"

Tonto replied, "Ear sticky."

The Lone Ranger..

and Tonto were riding when all of a sudden they were surrounded by Indians. That was when Tonto informed the Lone Ranger that he was tired of being his sidekick and sold him out. Once in captivity the Lone Ranger was given one last request from the Indian chief. He requested to speak to his horse, Silver. He whispered into the horses ear and it took off, later returning with a beautiful naked woman, the Lone Ranger proceed to have sex with her. The Indian chief was very impressed with the feat he had just witnessed but was still going to kill him. The Lone Ranger asked to speak to his horse one more time and the chief obliged. The horse walked over and the Lone Ranger went to his ear and said " POSSE, YOU IDIOT I SAID POSSE!!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto . . .

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were out in the desert. The Lone Ranger asked Tonto for the time. Tonto takes off his loin cloth, sporting a proud erection. Tonto looks at the shadow of his erection and says "It's 3:15".

The Lone Ranger checks his watch. Sure enough, it's 3:15.

Some time later the Lone Ranger again asks Tonto for the time. Again Tonto takes off his loin cloth, checks the shadow, and says "5:20".

Sure enough it's 5:20.

Later that night, the Lone Ranger walks into Tonto's teepee and catches him stroking himself. The Lone Ranger asks Tonto, what he is doing!

Tonto explains "me wind'em watch!".

So the Lone Ranger and Tonto have been tasked with finding a herd of bison...

And they've been wandering about the plains for a while not finding much of anything, Tonto periodically sticking his ear to the ground to listen for the thundering of many hooves.

As Tonto is pressing his ear against the ground for the fourteenth time, the Lone Ranger spots a dark smudge on the horizon vaguely shaped like a large group of ungulates.

"Bison come," Tonto interrupts the Lone Ranger's day dreaming, his head snapping back to look at Tonto with wonderment.

"How can you tell? Is it the vibration of the ground from the herd over there?" He points.

"No." Tonto replies. "Ear sticky."

where did the lone ranger take his trash to?

to the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.

The Lone Ranger is in trouble now!

The lone ranger and Tonto are riding together, when suddenly they are surrounded by a group of Apache Indians, screaming like banshees and swinging warclubs.
The lone ranger takes a look at the war-painted pack of warriors howling for his blood, and yells to his faithful sidekick, "Looks like we might have to fight them off, Tonto!"
The lone ranger looks over his shoulder to see Tonto backing his horse away slowly.

"What you mean 'we', white man?"


The Lobe Ranger and Tonto are riding in the desert

When they come to a high hill they can see that they are surrounded by wild indians on all sides.
The Lone Ranger says This doesn't look good my friend, they look fierce and out for blood. What should we do?
Tonto reply's What do you mean we white man?

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were on horseback across the prairies...

Every now and then Tonto would dismount his horse and put his ear to the group to check for while life or followers.
Each and every time the Lone Ranger was amazed by Tonto's talent. He never questioned his predictions. When he said cowboys were up ahead, there were. When he said wild life was near by, sure enough there was. Enough for pelts, food whatever...
Finally curiosity got the better of the Lone Ranger. When Tonto got off his horse but his ear to the ground and pronounced 'Buffalo come!' He had to ask how Tonto knew this...
Tonto simply replied 'Ear stuck to ground!'

Lone Ranger and Tonto go camping together

They Fall asleep early due to a long day.

In the middle of the night, Lone Ranger wakes up and speaks to Tonto who's now awake as well

It's a beautiful night Tonto Says

How so? Replies Lone Ranger

There are many stars in the sky Tonto Replies

You know what that means, don't you? Lone Ranger asks suddenly more frantically

Yes, that means many spirits are watching us Tonto Explains calmly

To which Lone Ranger replied

No you dumbass, it means somebody stole our tent!

They have announced a new Lone Ranger Movie.

The Lone Ranger Goes To Canada
or Onto Toronto Pronto Tonto.

Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?

To the dump to the dump to the dump dump.dump, to the dump to the dump to the dump.dump dump...

The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado.

He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."

The Lone Ranger gets caught.

The Lone Ranger is caught by a group of Crow braves and buried up to his neck in sand. The leader of the braves tells him he has one last dying request, and so coolly and calmly he whistles to his horse Silver and Silver trots over and the Lone Ranger whispers something in his ear.

Immediately Silver bolts off into the distance and then quickly returns with a beautiful woman on his back, who gracefully slides off him and proceeds to lift her skirt, sit upon the Lone Ranger's face, and then writhe and buck in screaming ecstasy for a full five minutes before climbing off and walking away.

The crow are so amazed at this sight, and the depths of communication displayed between man and horse that they grant one more request, to which the Lone Ranger once again whistles Silver over, and in a voice of mild annoyance says, "I said a posse."

Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump-dump-dump!

The Native Indian and the Lone Ranger.

One day the Native Indian and the Lone Ranger are out hunting. It's not long before the Native Indian decides to show the Lone Ranger how his people hunt and so puts his ear to the ground.

"Deer come" says the Native Indian, and not a second later a deer comes bounding through the grass past them. The Lone Ranger is obviously impressed and asks how he did it. The Native Indian taps the side of his nose.

Not long after the Native Indian puts his ear to the ground and says "Hare come", and not a second later a hare bounds out of the bushes past them. The Lone Ranger, once again impressed, asks how he does it. The Native Indian looks at him knowingly.

After a few minutes of walking the Native Indian once again puts his ear to the ground and says "buffalo come". But no buffalo appears. The Lone Rangers asks the Native Indian if he's sure. The Native Indian replies
"Yes. Ear is sticky".

Describe your latest laid with a movie title!

"The Lone Ranger"
"Home Alone"
"Bend It Like Beckham"

Now it's your turn!

Do you remember that episode of The Lone Ranger where Tonto got Alzheimer's?

Who's "me", kemosabe?

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were hunting buffalo one day to no avail.

Tonto jumps off his horse, puts his ear to ground and says, "Buffalo come." The Lone Ranger asks, "How do you know that?" Tonto replies, "Ear sticky."

THE LONE RANGER WAS TIED UP.

BUT HE MANAGED TO WHISPER IN SILVERS EAR,THE HORSE RAN OFF AND RETURNED WITH A GUN,THE RANGER WHISPERED IN SILVERS EAR AGAIN AND AGAIN HE RAN OFF HE CAME BACK WITH A KNIFE, THE RANGER WHISPERED AGAIN THIS TIME SILVER CAME BACK WITH A NAKED GIRL ON HIS BACK AND THE RANGER SCREAMED ...STUPID HORSE I SAID BRING ME THE POSSE! !

The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado.

He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."

The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado.

He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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