Giggle-Inducing Lol Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
Why are circumsized p**... so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol
I just f**... on my wallet
Now I have Gas Money!
*Told to me by my 9 year old daughter, who thought it's hilarious! (I agree lol)
Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic
Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
What do you call Professor X doing a wheelie?
Professor +
I'm sorry. lol.
What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?
"Wow, lol"
How did harry potter get down the hill?
Walking.
LoL
JK. Rolling.
Who Did Princess Leia's Hair? (My daughter's joke)
Darth Braider
(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol)
I always knock on the front door of my fridge ...
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
Me: Happy Pi day!
Her: Aren't you a few days late lol?
Me: Sorry, I was being irrational
13: I'm the number everybody hates . 6**...: No way, I am the number everybody hates .
2020: lol .
(My 8 year old just told me this one) Who is the fish's valentine?
His Gil-Friend!
Idc what ya'll say, that was golden! Lol
You can explore lol heh reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lol lul dad jokes. There are also lol puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
if you added the letters S and E to the X files
it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol
You play World of Warcraft AND Leage of Legends?
Wow, lol.
A sad first attempt at a joke
(It's my first time posting here. Don't blame me for the terrible joke lol)
A lawyer just lost a career making/breaking case so Satan sees this as an opportunity to approach him and make him an offer.
Satan: I will make you the most successful lawyer in history. You will never lose a case again. You will be famous. You will be wealthy beyond your wildest imagination.
Lawyer: What's the catch?
Satan: I want the souls of your parents, your siblings, your spouse, your children and all your future descendants for d**... in h**... for all eternity.
Lawyer: Okay, but what's the catch?
What do you call a pig that is cold and growling?
A Ham-Brrr-Grrr.
I made this joke when I was 11. I remember being super proud lol.
What does it look like when someone is drowning?
lol
What's the absolute value of zero?
lol
Cop joke.
So I'm an ER RN and we love to joke around. Had two cops in with a patient. I deadpanned I heard there's been ppl stealing tires off (local) cop cars…. The one cop says I haven't heard anything about this .
So… I said I've heard the police are tirelessly investigating it.
First cop high fives me. I say dad joke! Second cop pouts.
Lol.
My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs.
lol
My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool.
I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.
What does a drowning person looks like
lol
Hey Prof, what can I do to improve my grade?
Prof: um... it's May
Me: LOL, sorry, what MAY I do to improve my grade?
What do you call a webpage that helps your eyes feel better?
A site for sore eyes!
My dad made this up and wanted me to post it lol
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
"A penguin rolling down a hill"
My 6 y.o just told me this one and I don't know why I laughed so hard. I felt it should be shared. Lol
Why snakes avoid hospitals in US?
Because it "cost an arm and a leg" to enter one !
\------------------------------------------------------
Note: this is first dad joke I write and make ... hope it can put some smiles on some of people faces .. have a good evening guys
PS : in a second thought .. I should had made it " **Why snakes can't enter into hospitals in US?** " LOL
Ellen Pao is actually right and we should respect her decisions
^jk ^lol
my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with schizophrenia..
was really worried until i remembered i dont have a psychiatrist lol
What did the referee do when the touchdown was made?
# lol
The absolute value of 0 is no laughing matter
lol
Joke by my 6yr old. What do you call a baby that crossed the road?
Flat baby
Seeking therapy for her now lol
My Uncle was fired for sleeping with one of his patients...
The worst part is that he's a veterinarian.
Lol just kidding, he's a pediatrician.
Christian man said to his married friend that he is saving himself so he can have all the s**... he can when he is married
Married man : "lol"
Two elitist gamers meet each other and discuss their favorite online games
Gamer 1: "You play WoW? LoL"
Gamer 2: "You play LoL? WoW"
How funny are jokes about communism?
Equally as funny as any other joke.
Lol just spent the last 3 hours kinda piecing this together, hope someone likes it.
You know why I didn't cook alligator for dinner?
I only have a croc-p**....
(Interestingly told to me by my mom, but it's a total dad joke lol)
If badminton is so good
Think about good minton. Lol. Sorry.
Fighting Hard
lol cancer is so easy to beat i am already at stage 4
What is the funniest time of day?
7:07 because when you flip it upside down, it says LOL!
This joke was invented by my 8 year old daughter so be nice please :)
God was having a conversation with a caterpillar...
God: then you become a butterfly!
Caterpillar: wow. the rest of my life as a butterfly!
God: yeah lol the "rest"
Caterpillar: how long
God: ...
Caterpillar: how long God
Lol
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
There are people out there who don't know what World of Warcraft and League of Legends are
WoW, LoL
You heard about the guys breaking into stores and having s**... with all the fruit?
They always come in Pears...
(Was literally just watching a live stream as I thought of this hopefully it hasn't been done before lol)
Two men die and arrived in heaven
Curious as to why others are here, they struck up a conversation.
Man 1: Bro how did you die?
Man 2: Due to cold, and you?
Man 1: I doubted my girlfriend with another guy, searched the entire house but found none. I felt too guilty and committed s**....
Man 2: Lol, I was in the fridge
Bill Russell tried to sell a championship ring to LeBron James for $1......
...... but LeBron only has 3 quarters.
Read online on a comment. LOL
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
I know this isn't original but it's my favorite lol
how does a roman laugh when he's texting?
lol 490
A fortune teller told me that someone is going to post this again tomorrow
So I proved her wrong and posted it today lol sorry man I ruined your joke
me: doctor, everything anyone says to me seems to be a palindrome!
doctor: lol
Where do horses go when they get sick?
The horse-pital.
Lol jks, they get shot.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
Lol 😂
Was a good name for an angel that always looks up the instructions online?
*e*Manual
(it's not a good joke, but I came up with it myself... so that has to count for something lol)
There is one manor difference between Iraq and Iran
In Iran, everyone's afraid of spiders.
Iraq: no phobia.
Got this one from my dad, so I don't know if it's legible lol. I just thought I'd put it here.
I tried one of those "Try Not To Laugh" challenges, but barely made it halfway before cracking up.
I guess you could say... I fought the LOL, and the LOL won.
Did you hear about the lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapus lol
Here, let me give you my IP adress.
The bathroom.
I came up with that on my way to pee lol
Dad, what do you call a fish with two legs?
A two-knee fish.
Courtesy of my 8-year old. Thought it was pretty good lol.
Wanna hear a funny word?
Re-accommodate. lol
Traditional joke from my childhood... I am the first person to translate this to English LoL
There was a young boy that always struggled to cross the road, every time he tried to cross the road he got hit by a car...
One time he was crossing the road and he made it to the other side!
He jumped for joy!
...He got hit by a plane midair.
An eye-rolling joke
Dad: You know who all I saw today?
Daughter: Who?
Dad: Everybody I looked at
Daughter: Huh?!
Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **
Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again
Dad: Why? Is it too "cornea" for you? XD
Daughter: I give up, lol.
Dad: I'm still the master, you're still the "pupil" XD
[Titanic, 1912]
**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?
**First mate:** ICEBERG!
**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.
You are unlikely to see negative reviews when shopping online for Parachutes
Know what I mean!!!
If any such review you find out, let me know. LOL
I took my 8 year old daughter to the office on Take Your Kid To Work Day.
When we walked in the office she
started to cry.
As concerned staff gathered round I
asked her what was wrong and she
said, "Daddy where are all the clowns
you said you worked with?"
Funny joke I found online a little while ago lol.
How did George Bush know there were WMDs in Iraq?
He got the receipt. lol
Sometimes I talk to myself for no sane reason...
Lol yea me too.
What has 2 hands but can't scratch itself?
Clock.
*Legit from my now 50 year old dad yesterday lol
Deer nuts are always the same price worldwide....
Always under a buck! lol
My 11 year old son told me this joke today and thought I'd share with everyone.
People say smoking will give you diseases
But how can they say that when it cures salmon!!
(Lol im a smoking chef and when i heard this joke I coughed my lungs like i have the rona. Had to post it )
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
Villian: I'm going to bury superman this evening, bwahahahha!
Henchman: yeah, lol, heard this one before.
Villian: No really! At sundown, I'm going to lure him into this mausoleum and lock the door, it's his weakness!
Henchman: What are you talking about, that'll never work!
Villian: Of course it will, it's his crypt tonight.
Dad on Deathbed
[Deathbed]
Dad: Don't put me in the wrong burial plot
Son: Dad stop it, I'm never turning this life support off!
Dad: because that would be...a grave mistake lol
Son: So is it this switch here or
(cr
What do you call a rectangle that's full of blood?
An erectangle
(Came up with this in math class lol)
Where does a horse go when it gets sick? The horsepital!
Lol, just kidding, it gets shot.
Lol
Spell IHOP then say NESS.
Lol
A priest, rabbit, and Minister walk into a bar. The bar tender says to the rabbit what will you have? The rabbit says "I don't know, I think I'm only here because of autocorrect ".
Do you know what is laziness?
Laziness is the art of taking rest before getting tired. lol
Why isn't blood a good writer??
Because of all the Type-Os.
Not sure if this has been posted before but I thought of it while at my desk and was proud of it cause it made me chuckle lol.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender!
Came up with this while putting chicken tenders out at my old job. lol
s**... joke
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With My Parents.
Police: Where Do Your Parents Live?
Me: With Me.
Police: Where Do You All Live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where Is Your House?
Me: Next To My Neighbours House.
Police: Where's Your Neighbours House?
Me: If I Told You, You Wouldn't Believe Me...
Police: Tell…
Me: Next To My House. Lol.
A man is rushed into the hospital after an accident.
Doctor, Doctor! I've broken my arm in several places."
The Doctor examines the patient's arm, and after a few moments of staring with intensity, he looked at the patient.
Doctor: lol, well don't go to those places.
How Does Leah Like Her Bathwater?
Luke-warm
My 9yo came up with this, don't ban me please lol
"do you believe in ghosts?"
**Me:** lol no— even my grandma says that's dumb
"dude your grandma died 10 years ago"
**Me:** what?!
How to trap a polar bear
First you cut a hole in the ice. Then place peas all around the hole. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Hey, the kids like it lol
Joke for LoL, Dota2, and smite players. Why are Jewish junglers the worst?
They always die at the first camp.
Dad! I accidentally stepped on this butterfly…
Well you know what that means son, no butter for you for a month. The boy was upset and went back into the house. The next day the boy was playing in the garden again.
Dad! I accidentally killed a honeybee. The father looks at his son.
Well no honey for you for a month. The boy was upset and went inside the house. A few hours later the boy went up to his dad.
Dad! Mom just killed a cockroach.
(Old but gold lol)
