Logic Jokes

For logic-based beings.

!!...
Who's there?
Same as before.

Three logicians walk into a bar..

The bartender asks, "would all three of you like some beer?"
The first one replies,"I don't know"
The second one replies, "I don't know either"
The third replies, "Yes all three of us would like a beer"

Jon Snow was telling wildlings about logic.

When he finished, they all just sat and started at him. Except one, who said "Boole story, crow".

Logick Humor:

Circular reasoning is illogical because it begs the question.

Three masters of logic walk into a bar...

They all take a seat at the counter and the bartender asks the first one, "Will you all be having a drink?" to which the first logician replies, "Hm, I'm not sure," and opens a nearby newspaper and begins reading. The bartender looks to the second and asks, "Will you all be having a drink?" The second logician looks him in the eyes and says, "I'm not too sure." Frustrated, the bartender looks at the third logician and asks, futily, "This is the last time I'm asking, will you all be having a drink?" to which the third logician replies, "Yes."

Pac-man walks into Pizzeria...

and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

Fourth Grade Logic

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked,
"To draw out all his savings?"

Student logic

Professor offered to students to retake failed exam, but only with one condition. All students must gather at one time, so professor wouldn't waste his time. There was three students with failed exam.
At exam day three students gathered and dialog begins:
Student: Shouldn't be here four of us?
Professor: How is it four?
Student: I had posted on Facebook about this exam and four people liked it.

What's the most logical country?

AND OR a

When will a proper female AI be made?

When we invent NANDOR logic gates

The two Propositional Logic professors at a local university are named Professor P and Professor Q.

Police question Professor P about the identity of a criminal who has committed a series of heinous acts. P implies Q.

Logical Thinking

The manager was very angry with this beginner who wanted a very high salary. He asked him why he wanted so much money whereas he had no experience. The beginner replied "Work is very difficult when you are a beginner. It becomes easier as you get experience."

Christian music producers

The only Christians who know how to use Logic and Reason.

What's a Christians worst enemy?

Logic.

If the rapper Logic had an evil twin...

His name would be Psycho-Logic.

Logic

What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album?
Their response Flexicution

A logician walks into a kebab shop

Kebab man asks "Chicken, beef or mixed?"
Logician: "Yes"

What's the opposite of quantum physics?

Logic.
(If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')
...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).

Three logicians walk into a bar...

The bartender walks up to them and asks, "can I get you all a beer?"
The first logician thinks for a moment and replies, "I don't know."
The second logician also takes a moment before replying, "I don't know."
The third logician says "Yes."

In highschool I used to be girl crazy...

And by girl crazy I don't mean I was obsessed with girls...I mean I was irrational and never used logic.

what is a lawyer's secret weapon?

an inverse logic.

What does a logical person wear to a low-key meeting?

Business causal

The person who wrote the auto-correct logic was killed in a bizarre farming accident.

Rest in Pieces!

Why did the Republican hate his logic course?

Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art

Maths is a skill

Half of it is understanding, the other half patience and the third half logic.

School Logic

Me: What are taxes and how do I pay them?
School: Worry not
School: Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Profit & Loss Statement

Wife asks:
"Why is it that in all marriages the bride sits on the left side and the groom sits on the right?"
Husband's reply:
"Have you ever seen a Profit & Loss Statement? It follows the same logic. All income is posted on the Right and expenses are on the Left!"...

for an organism to be classified as a mammal, they have to have hair and produce milk

by that logic, a coconut is a mammal

The logical positivists accuse the existentialists of not being sufficiently analytical.

But the existentialists accuse the logical positivists of not being sufficiently.

A logical person walks into The_Donald

What is the logician up to after work?

Nothing much, just boolean

When the logician was given a choice between eternal bliss and a ham salad, which one did he choose?

Ham salad, because nothing is better than eternal bliss, and ham salad is better than nothing.

If Logic was a Pokemon generation, which one would he be?

Black and White

Some say Donald Trump is a terrible joke of a president. Some say that's the reason he won in the first place. So by that logic, there's only one person who can be the next president.

The bus driver.

Movie Theater Logic

Tickets: $5
Slushy: $15
Popcorn: $20

If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

We would call soap 'Aftershit'.

On a scale from one to ten, my skill at boolean logic...

Is -1

Women argue better than men. I wish I could argue like a woman.

With zero regard to facts and logic

What's a TV show hacker's favorite kind of cyber attack?

A DDOL - Direct Denial of Logic

What can be said about both doing logic puzzles and sitting on the toilet?

They involve process of elimination

I just heard about this millennial type of logic...

I guess you could say it is a nuisance

Eric Clapton Announced as new spokesperson Apple's music production suite Logic.

That guy sure hates Windows.

If a sausage party got really big

....and became a festival, could we call it Boneroo?
By that logic, I suppose there could be a Coochella, too!

No one uses logic anymore

I miss the Godel days.

Who is Spock's favorite rapper and why?

His favorite rapper is Logic
Why? It's because he's biracial.

Ben Shapiro is apparently looking for a partner for a hip hop group he wants to start.

He wants to call the duo Pro Tools and makes beats with LOGIC and REASON.

Have you heard of Ben Shapiro's first rap song?

It's featuring Logic.

When my logician friend's wife had a baby

When my logician friend's wife had a baby, I asked him, "Boy or Girl". He said, "Yes"

Whats Ben Shapiro's favourite rapper?

Logic.

How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?

If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.

Logical fallacies are annoying.

Therefore, people that don't know about them are annoying.

Robin Hood Logic

[Robin Hood] Poor friend, here's some money .
[Poor Friend] Thanks! Now I'm rich!
[Robin Hood] You're… what?

He walks through the midday heat, an occasional shot clips through the trees overhead.

He and many men like him question their logic to sign up. They could be home, spending time with their families but instead they are outside, dehydrated, fighting a battle they probably won't win. Their frustration mounts as they realize it's nothing at all like all the games they played as kids.
He's on the 3rd hole of the tournament and he's already 7 over par.