Lodge Jokes
16 lodge jokes and hilarious lodge puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about lodge that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From Elks to Moose Lodges and Orange Lodges to Masonic Lodges, this article has some hilarious jokes that are sure to involve the whole resort, hotel, or hostel. Get ready to laugh with these lodge jokes!
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Funniest Lodge Short Jokes
Short lodge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lodge humour may include short lounge jokes also.
- The doctors rushed quickly to remove the bullet which was lodged in his artery... But it turns out it was all in vain
- What do you call a friendly immobile sea creature that offers you food and lodging? An amenable anemone with amenities.
- Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. "Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."
- I joined my local gym the other day and found a hole in my trainer just big enough to put my finger in. She has lodged a formal complaint.
- Did you know that the average person has 3lb of meat lodged in their colon? So come on, love!
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Lodge One Liners
Which lodge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lodge? I can suggest the ones about log cabin and cottage.
- What did the doe do on her day off She went to the Elks Lodge to blow a few bucks
Giggle-Inducing Lodge Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about lodge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cabin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lodge pranks.
The Old Cowboy's Shave
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does .
Lodger: "But you advertised that one could see for miles from this room!"
Landlady: "Well, so you can. You can see the moon through the skylight, and ain't that miles away?
My friend Jason invited me to spend a week with him and his family at their ski lodge.
I wanted to bring gifts. For him, a felt hat. For her felt mittens. For the kids, felt-tipped markers.
I like to make my presents felt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys go on a skiing trip.
The lodge they check into only has one room available, so they decide to all sleep in the same bed. They go skiing and have a lot of fun, and come back to the lodge and go to bed.
The next day the guy who slept on the right side of the bed said, I had the most vivid dream that I was getting a h**... last night! The guy who slept on the left side said, That's incredible, I had the same exact dream!
The guy who slept in the middle said, That's funny, I had a dream I was skiing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys go on a skiing trip together.
When they get to the ski lodge, the attendant informs them there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
The men reluctantly agree to share, and get settled in.
After a long day of skiing, the men wash up and get ready for bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, "Wow, I had this amazing dream about this beautiful lady giving me a h**.... It felt so vivid!"
The guy on the left side of the bed suddenly wakes up, and goes, "Wow, I had the same dream!"
The guy in the middle says, "Wow, that's funny. I was dreaming that I was skiing."
Old man gets a shave at the barber
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Unicorn hunting...
Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk.
Paul asked Kurt, So, what do you hunt?
Kurt answered, I hunt unicorns.
Paul was startled, but said, Really? How do you do that?
Kurt replied, I find a v**... and hire her to help me. The v**... sits around in the woods until a unicorn comes to her. When it does, it sets off a snare.
Paul said, Boy, they must be hard to find. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one.
Kurt said, Yeah, and there aren't many unicorns around, either!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The skiers
Three friends decide to go to a ski resort for the weekend. When they arrive at the lodge, they're dismayed to learn that there's only one room left. What's worse, it only has a single bed. Figuring that it's their only option, they decide to take the room.
After a full day of skiing, the tired friends head up to their room and sleep in the one bed. They all wake up in the morning after a good night's sleep.
The guy on the left side says, "I had this dream that I was getting a h**...."
The guy on the right says, "No way! I had the same dream!"
The guy in the middle says, "That's weird, I dreamt I was skiing."
So a hunter
made a deal with his wife that if he catches a bear, she would field clean and prepare it. If he doesn't, she gets a day at the spa.
He walked out of their hunting lodge to his favorite spot and waited for a bear to pass by.
He sees a few creatures, but not the trophy he's looking for. An hour goes by...two hours... three hours, and then finally, there it is. The biggest bear he'd ever seen. Well, he slowly, quietly picks up his gun, aims, pulls the trigger, and "click" the gun jams.
"Uh oh" thinks the hunter, as he starts to get up to get out of there. But, the bear noticed and moved towards him. This caused the hunter to run, and the bear gave chase. He ran faster than he ever had before, all the way back to the hunting lodge. He thought he was in the clear, but he tripped going up the steps to the front door.
The bear jumps right over him and through the door into the house. The hunter shouts from outside " You clean this one, I'm gonna go get another one"
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head go hunting
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are staying at a hunting lodge in the country. At the end of the first day they're all gathered around the fireplace talking about how their hunting went. The red head tells the group that she'd shot a gorgeous 16-point buck that day. The blonde and brunette, both amazed, ask how she managed such a good kill.
"It's easy! I followed some tracks and--BAM--shot the buck."
With this advice in hand the blonde and brunette go out the next day. Back at the lodge, the blonde finds out that the brunette had shot an amazing 20-point buck. The blonde is flabbergasted and asks how the brunette found such a nice buck.
"Simple! I followed some tracks and followed some tracks and--BAM--shot a buck."
So the next morning the blonde, determined to find and kill an even better buck, goes out for the hunt. She follows some tracks and follows some tracks and--BAM--gets hit by a freight train.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the dirtiest or sexiest joke you have ever heard?
Not the dirtiest but I laughed.
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a h**...!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Dogs (From the movie Silkwood)
A young brave visits the chief of the tribe with a question. "Wise one, is it true you name all the members of the tribe, and if so, how is it done?"
The venerable old man replies "Yes, for over 20 years I have named each person who is born to the tribe. I sit outside the lodge, and when I hear the infants' first cry, I open my eyes and the first thing I see becomes the name. So it was with your brother Big Bear, your sister Singing Bird, your cousin Blue Cloud, and so on."
"But tell me, Two Dogs F**king...... why do you ask?"
The Brave Alaskan Pilot
One day there was a terrible blizzard in Alaska and a lone pilot radioed grown control to turn on their runway lights. Ground control radioed back saying that the pilot could not land there because the storm was too bad. The pilot radioed again and demanded they turned on the runway lights, but again ground control said that the storm was too bad and told the pilot to turn around and land somewhere else. The pilot radioed back and said, "I've already landed, I need the lights to guide me to the lodge!"
A man was asked by his cousin to come with him to his hunting lodge...
With them was the cousin's hunting friends. As it was raining the first day, and since none of them didn't feel like spending a whole day out in the wet, they decided to stay inside.
After a while the man got bored and asked his cousin if they couldn't do anything.
The cousin said: "Well, we could tell each other jokes. I'll start."
The cousin thought for a moment and then said "27". And all the other hunters started to laugh.
" Why does everyone laugh? You just said a number."
His cousin explained that since they had heard all these stories a hundred times, they had given them numbers to make them easier to tell. The man thought this was a bit wierd, but he thought why not.
The "storytelling" went on for a while until finally a hunter said a number and the rest started laughing more than before.
The man looked up and asked why this was so funny. The cousin replied, "Oh, we haven't heard this one before."
